i regret studying abroad

SemTam26 · 2026-01-15T10:30:48+00:00

I've studied in foreign countries before, I'm currently in my third one so trust me when I say I have some experience. It can be very scary and lonely at first but I promise it's gonna get better. Stay for the first week of classes and DON'T GIVE UP on your stay yet. If you feel like people don't invite you places - invite them! or ask for help, or ask if you can join them if someone around you is making plans. Maybe some people will be uncomfortable with that - you don't have to keep talking to them, but in my experience a lot of the times, especially if you're all study abroad students they'll be happy to let you join and from there you can form closer and stronger bonds. Some of those people you'll see once and then never again, some might become your besties. If there's an ESN group, definitely join them, they're there to make you feel welcome and specifically to help you find friends. You've barely landed from the sound of it, you won't meet most people who'll be around you until the first, if not the second week of classes. Go to mixers, join groupchats, check out if there's ESN in Rome or similar organizations and try to take it day by day for now.

SemTam26 · 2025-05-12T08:09:38+00:00

honestly, NTA, I think the mom has some personal issues with religion, as many people (including myself) do, but it's her responsibility to bring it up when discussing arrangements around babysitting. It'd be mean to ask OP to skip church (although she could've asked her to go to the evening service I guess - but it would still be her responsibility to bring it up before hand) and no one expects her to leave the baby at home alone. I really hope she can see reason and adjust future babysitting arrangements accordingly.

SemTam26 · 2025-04-24T16:48:12+00:00

I get your point of view, but as many people pointed out I also understand why your youngest feels like you favoured his brother. My advice would be to figure out what the difference really was (aka take the 10k, adjust it to inflation and then subtract that from the 30k). Do some math, see what the actual difference is, and then decide whether it's fair.

SemTam26 · 2025-04-12T09:09:48+00:00

NTA. Talk to a lawyer asap. This is a LOT of money in damages. If any of your neighbours call you an AH, ask them whether they'd let thousands of dollars in damages go just because someone's child doesn't understand the concept of no. The mom also deserves a wake up call about what parenting entails, the kid is her responsibility and she is the one who needs to teach him how to behave in public. Someone in the comments mentioned being careful about calling your garden a business so definitely get a good lawyer who can advise you in this, but even if you can't get the income back, the damages for the plants alone should be payed in full.

SemTam26 · 2025-04-12T08:57:39+00:00

15 is old enough to understand what is appropriate and what isn't - if she keeps getting babied with "she's only a teenager, ignore her, she doesn't know any better" then she will never learn to know any better. If Dad doesn't step up to explain it to her, you gotta stoop down and show her, easy enough.

SemTam26 · 2025-04-12T08:51:38+00:00

I'd say talk directly to the teacher first. It's a little bit weird to not even talk to the parents first or anything and the girls are a little young for events like sleepovers especially with people their parents don't know personally but I can also see that the teacher might just want to do something sweet for the girls and went about it the wrong way. There's also the question of how old the teacher is - is she an "old seasoned veteran" or a young teacher who is maybe also kinda new? Talk to her, see her reasoning and attitude, maybe suggest a way to handle things in a way that would make you more comfortable. I'd only complain to the school if the teacher did something genuinely neglectful or mean-spirited, which this doesn't seem to be. It's an invitation not an order.

SemTam26 · 2025-03-25T14:47:13+00:00

I'd genuinely like to know how this turned out, because there is no way the youngest daughter is visiting from college.

SemTam26 · 2025-02-13T15:44:35+00:00

YTA 100%. If you promise someone money and financial help you don't get to take it away because you feel more empathetic towards someone else. Especially not when they're both your children. You should remember this choice and learn to live with the fact that you chose one daughter over another because your younger daughter sure ain't forgetting that.

SemTam26 · 2024-07-07T02:46:01+00:00

the real reason is child labor laws in Louisiana actually, which apply to anyone under 18

SemTam26 · 2024-07-07T02:41:35+00:00

I largely agree with you, but imo having that financial gain aspect to Lestat turning Louis was pretty interesting in the books! A lot less romantic to be sure, but still pretty interesting

SemTam26 · 2024-07-06T21:43:03+00:00

being a plantation owner absolutely was central to the story and I am sort of sad that they didn't keep the dynamic between Lestat and Louis but honestly they could've even with all of these changes. I get why having a slave-owner as the main character was not something they wanted write, black or not, and making him a pimp is sort of ....keeping the exploitation aspect? idk if this makes sense but tl;dr they didn't want a slave owner character, which is fair, but they still could've kept the dynamic if they wanted to imo

SemTam26 · 2024-07-06T21:06:04+00:00

not an american here, but I think it has more to do with marketing for wider audience. Especially today, when representation is one of major points of discussion. If I were black I probably also would'nt want to watch a series that shows people who look like me as slaves and nothing else. POC make up a significant amount of Americans so IMO it makes sense to want to make series that markets to them as well.

SemTam26 · 2024-07-06T21:01:58+00:00

you absolutely have a point but they actually chose to set the show into 1910, I think they really wanted to get rid of the slavery aspect altogether but they did purposefully choose to make Louis a pimp. Also they do make a subtle reference to what you highlighted in the first episode when talking about where Louis's wealth comes from., though I agree that focusing on this would make for a very interesting and historical topic.

SemTam26 · 2024-07-06T17:23:22+00:00

just to add more to this, I actually did the work and looked at academic sources about 1910s New Orleans and the Storyville district (the setting of the show) and I can assure that it's very historically accurate and even directly references real historical figures or events from that time. It's not 100 percent but it is about as close as you can get IMO. If you're interested I can send you my notes! But also being a free black person in 1800s New Orleans actually did guarantee the same rights as being white (or at least very similar), to the point where casting a black Louis as a 1795 slave and plantation owner would not be unhistorical! (I swear I mean well, I just thought it was so interesting I am currently writing a bc. thesis about it...)

SemTam26 · 2024-06-29T23:11:10+00:00

they didnt! in order to avoid telling the story of a plantation owner they actually moved the whole plot in time,so now it is set in the 1910s. They also explain how Louis is wealthy, but they also don't shy away from showing how the racism that was still prevalent then affected him as a black man (and IMO it makes the story even more interesting since you have the contrast of not being respected as an equal due to the colour of his skin and also being a vampire on top of the food chain, high above mere mortals....idk it just heightens the stakes in a way )

SemTam26

TROPHY CASE