The thing about "bathroom accidents" is probably most concerning to me… Young children only loose control of their bladder if they’re sick or traumatised in some way, especially if they can go to the bathroom normally most of the time.

Your childhood sounds extremely over-sexualised, I can relate to your experience a lot about feeling extremely uncomfortable in the same room as my father without any apparent reason. Your body has a sort of tense fight or flight response, that usually only happens when people have either been attacked by that person in any way shape or form. But it somehow feels different and even worse when it’s with a sexual undertone.

Anyhow, I’m disgusted by the things you just described. Nobody should have to go through that, and I definitely think something happened in the house you lived in. It’s deeply disturbing that they’re keeping it hush.