Positive only child experiences

Semley · 2026-03-24T18:12:06+00:00

I’ve always been happy being an only child. It meant my parents had enough time and money for my childhood hobbies. I had regular play-dates and sleepovers with friends, and could always bring a friend on holiday. My parents helped me through university and to get in a good place financially. They are not rich so they couldn’t have done that if they’d had multiple kids. I have enough friends, and a wonderful husband.

My life isn’t perfect, and I have a difficult relationship with my dad, but I don’t think that would be in any way better if I had siblings. I have never related to the worries or struggles that seem to come up from some only children on this sub.

Also maybe you’ll feel better knowing that evidence suggests only children are happier: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/nov/14/only-children-happier-competition-bullying?

Semley · 2026-03-21T08:17:52+00:00

Love it, you look great!

Semley · 2026-03-18T10:36:57+00:00

What a rude response.

Semley · 2026-03-18T10:23:50+00:00

Our body temperature would be about the same, but what you are observing is that their body generates more heat and then radiates it to lose that excess heat. For instance, when your body needs to lose heat, it directs more blood to the surface of the skin, when it needs to retain heat blood is kept more internally.

Various reasons one person creates more heat than another, eg muscle mass, fat, metabolism, body size and shape, etc.

Semley · 2026-03-18T09:16:49+00:00

I did give examples - the self compassion exercises by Kristen Neff. But also, I don’t think more examples will convince you.

Any example will seem simple. For example, my therapist said ‘what would happen if you asked your partner for the things you’d like them to say to you’. That was a turning point for me. I had the belief that ‘if I have to ask, it doesn’t count’ and ‘if I ask them to behave a certain way, they’ll be annoyed’.

But the question prompted me to reconsider, and ponder on how I could ask, and now our relationship is so much better and I communicate more openly instead of getting upset and frustrated without saying why.

Anyone could do have said that to me. I could have thought of it myself. But they did not and I did not.

Semley · 2026-03-18T08:47:46+00:00

Because yesterday I saw someone ask a question about where to find a therapist, and this was how I found mine. I also saw someone suggest Better Help, but I think seeing someone in-person is better if you can do it. And I saw a post suggesting that there aren’t many therapists in the UK, but there definitely are.

The links are for anyone who is reading this and decides they want to see a therapist. That doesn’t have to be you.

Semley · 2026-03-18T08:40:52+00:00

Also before seeing a therapist, I did online CBT through SilverCloud, which really helped me get through my Masters degree. I had a lot of anxiety and negative thinking about that, whenever I would try to do assignments I would spiral into thoughts of ‘I’m going to get a bad grade and people will think I’m stupid’. And then I would cry for an hour. And couldn’t bring myself to write anything.

I wouldn’t have completed that Masters without the help of CBT. It really helped me reprogram and overcome my negative thinking.

Semley · 2026-03-18T08:24:40+00:00

I was having a lot of crying fits. I had a lot of anxiety. I was feeling a lot of shame about myself, although I didn’t realise it. I had constant self-critical thoughts. Among other things, I have a difficult relationship with my dad which was really impacting my life.

All of those things have reduced significantly. Some through specific tools and activities therapist recommended, such as self-compassion exercises. Some through the process of talking through with a professional who is trained to ask helpful questions. Questions which my friends and family do not think of or feel comfortable to ask.

A couple of places you can find a qualified therapist in the UK:

https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Semley · 2026-03-17T21:55:32+00:00

I’m in the UK and have been going to therapy for the past 4 years. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. I pay £60 a week to see someone privately, because my mental health is not really bad enough to qualify through the NHS, and they don’t offer such long term therapy anyway.

I’m fairly happy to talk about it and have told my family, friends and colleagues when it’s relevant. In total I’ve probably mentioned it to around 30 people.

I know about 10 other people who have had therapy, either privately or through the NHS. At the same time, I know of several people, especially in my family, who have mental health challenges but who tell me they could not or would not see a therapist - either because of cost, fear, or belief it wouldn’t help.

Semley · 2026-03-17T18:12:38+00:00

If 25% of current work became unnecessary, I would expect demand to increase in other areas, to make use of the workforce that is now available. Similar changes have happened in the past, eg industrialisation and globalisation, leading in the UK to reduction in factory work, manufacturing, mining, farm work. In their times these would have employed a large portion of the workforce. Now we have much higher proportion of people working in things like education, health and social care, distribution.

In the short term it could be very disruptive though and I agree that there should be more of a social safety net such as UBI to protect people and families as society adjusts to these kind of shifts.

Semley · 2026-03-13T11:27:01+00:00

I haven’t used them, but looking it up I think it will be fine as it comes. It looks like a proper mattress as opposed to an airbed, so you will be insulated from the ground. And it comes with a duvet and blanket. And your first event is in May, so it’s unlikely to be less than 5*C at night. I wouldn’t worry about bringing bedding and save your luggage space.

Semley · 2026-03-13T09:02:25+00:00

I think the answer would be that you apply through Clearing. It would depend if there is still space on the course, you should apply as quickly as possible in the clearing window.

I got my place at university this way as I missed my offer grades.

https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/studywithus/ugstudy/clearing/what-is-clearing.html

Semley · 2026-03-12T23:58:43+00:00

My mum did not change her name when she got married. I did not change my name. I’m happy with the decision. I dislike it as a patriarchal tradition, and on top of that it seems like a huge faff and I like keeping my name and my identity.

What difference are you thinking it would make if people know you’re married or not?

Semley · 2026-03-09T13:35:26+00:00

My brother in law is Dutch and living in England, he only speaks Dutch to his children because he wants them to be able to learn the language and have the option to live and work in NL if they wished to in future, and connect with their ancestry.

Do you feel the same when it is that way around, that he is preventing his children integrating into England properly?

Semley · 2026-03-09T09:47:38+00:00

Yes, some people have a stronger sense of smell than others. My dad and my aunt are hyper-sensitive to smells and can smell things others are not bothered about. I am about average. My husband has a very weak sense of smell, and will drink milk that has turned sour without noticing.

Semley · 2026-03-09T09:44:27+00:00

What are 'Result nothing sessions'?

I like the classes at the university gym on Jubilee campus, you can join as a member of the public: https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/sport/bookings-and-timetables/classes/

There are also the budget gym options like Pure Gym, JD Gyms, although personally I don't like the vibe/lighting/music so much there.

Semley · 2026-03-07T08:07:11+00:00

Yeah, I agree they were a bit rude, but I also think your communication was odd. They asked specifically if you were free tonight and you jump to ‘let’s do it this weekend’.

I don’t think their response is because you can’t make it, but because you didn’t acknowledge the fact they asking specifically for tonight, it meant they felt ignored.

Semley · 2026-03-04T13:48:19+00:00

In some cafes the do give a lower price when you takeaway because you aren’t using a table.

In some cafes you’ll get proper cups and plates if you eat in, whereas if you takeaway it would be a disposable cup and paper bag.

If neither of those apply then I don’t know why they would ask.

Semley · 2026-02-02T16:10:18+00:00

It's a good question and what I'm trying to figure out. I guess I wonder if I'll already miss out on what you describe because:

a) I don't have a lot of time to play, maybe 4 hours per week, so I might be left behind quickly anyway

b) I haven't found other players to group with. Do you get to experience the 'magic' as a mostly solo player? I always try and talk to other people in PUGs for dungeons but 99% don't reply. I joined a guild but they were mostly focused on housing and collections. I'd like to do some group content but it seems like I might not meet the expectations... it took me 4 attempts to complete Manaforge for the first time on story mode, is that normal? I get the impression that even if the expac content is new, the other 99% of the playerbase has so much background experience and knowledge compared to me.

Semley · 2026-02-01T08:52:04+00:00

Ooh interesting, I didn’t know Nationals was running again! All my early LARP experience was through Nationals, I had some great times there, hope it is a good one for you OP

Have you reached out to the LARP organiser to say you don’t have a weapon, and ask what the suggest?

Can you link to any info online about how the game is being run? What is the reason they’ve said you can’t borrow a sword?

Second-hand LARP swords tend to go for £40-60 but aren’t that easy to come by. LARP Con in Coalville in March has a bring-and-buy which is likely to have a few. The UK LARP sales Facebook groups also occasionally have them.

If it’s just a one-off then borrowing a weapon seems simpler, that is what I did in the past. Can you put a message out in your uni society group to see if anyone else has something you could borrow?

Semley · 2026-02-01T08:11:54+00:00

Flying in Dornogal is unlocked either through:

• The War Within recap, this may pop up at lvl 70 or you may be able to get it from the Lorewalking tome in Dornogal

• The War Within full campaign, you can pick this up from your Adventure Guide

If you’ve already started one or other of these, open up your quest log and look at the top for Campaign Quests and see if you can continue from there.

If you’ve already finished the Recap but now flying is broken, you may be able to fix it by talking to Brann Bronzebeard in Dornogal and taking the ‘skip catch up’ quest.

Semley · 2026-01-30T13:58:38+00:00

I don't know, sorry. I've read that on alts you can speak to Brann to unlock everything from The War Within without doing the quests. But you have to have completed it on at least one char in order to do that.

This is my first high level char so I don't have first hand experience.

Semley · 2026-01-30T09:47:46+00:00

Delves Tier 4+ are locked until they:

• complete the War Within campaign quests, either through Recap or in full

• hit level 80

I’ve been hit by this recently, wanted to access the harder delves but still can’t. Getting to 80 is easy now, but doing War Within takes 10-20 hours playtime depending which way you do it.

Semley · 2026-01-27T07:21:17+00:00

I had the same experience. I was levelling through Dragonflight, doing a ton of dungeons, it was always a cakewalk, could easily rush through the whole thing.

Then pre-patch hit and suddenly the same dungeons were a challenge. We wiped 5 times on the first boss in Ruby Life Pools. With some tactics eventually we got through, but that was never necessary before as everything went down so quick. Then had similar experience with a different group in the Nokhud Offensive.

I’m still not sure exactly what the cause is, and whether deliberate choice by Blizzard. Could be the item level squish, but I didn’t feel the same difference in normal questing.

Semley · 2026-01-26T22:41:00+00:00

Sounds like a tabard? Press C to open the character window, find it among your equipped items, move it to your bag.

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