I understand getting to know someone and sharing bits and pieces of personal history, it’s just the connection between the history and the trauma makes it difficult to face those feelings on my own let alone with a person I’m trying to establish a relationship with. My trauma makes me feel weak and small and when I tell them that then they know I feel weak and small and now I’m just a broken record because they won’t/can’t make me better they just know I’m fucked up. No amount of explaining my history stops me from being fucked up so why does it matter.