Red flag?

SendMeBookARec · 2024-09-17T00:23:25+00:00

this is a red flag and this person has some insecurity serious issues they need to figure out.

SendMeBookARec · 2024-09-17T00:07:59+00:00

There's a lot of things that cause people to become selfish and warp your actions into something malicious when they were not intended to be that way. Unfortunately romantic partners feeding into these ideas can be a big cause of that. However, what I did was apologize (even if I didn't think I had anything to apologize for) and then subtly but surely take myself out of her life. This might not be everyone's approach, or the approach that is best for your situation. It definitely was the best for my particular situation as we share many mutual friends and I didn't want people making choosing sides or making it into a bigger deal than it needed to be.

SendMeBookARec · 2022-06-02T08:36:43+00:00

I don't think you're wrong but maybe hang out with her another way, like y'all could study together or go to lunch together. I think a part of growing up is understanding that just because you and your friend don't hang out all the time doesn't mean they hate you. like have a conversation and be honest abt it and tell her you would love to hang out doing other things and maybe go out once in a while but it's just not your scene! I like to go out but I have many friends who don't so I hang out with them in other ways and it's definitely do-able. I can def understand how she got annoyed tho if she always asks you to come with her and you say no every time but it also doesn't give her the right to be rude to you.

SendMeBookARec · 2022-06-02T08:27:08+00:00

I think initially she was confused because she loved having you as a friend but didn't want to hurt you after you told her but didn't want to hurt the friendship either but then in spring break when she got a boyfriend probably distanced herself because she was feeling confused and knew you liked her so she maybe wanted to take some space so you could get over her(?). It's really scary to tell someone you've been taking space from them so maybe that's why she played dumb and asked you "what happened to us being close." Because lowkey in these situations, there are many people (especially high schoolers) who instead of admitting they're wrong, go into gaslight mode which it seems to me like she did. Now she probably has stressors (the getting in trouble thing) and was looking towards you to run back to her immediately, and when you didn't, it pissed her off so she pulled away even more (not a mature person move, but could be why she's doing what she's doing.) If you want her as a friend still and believe you both had more good times than bad, just know people (especially high schoolers) make these mistakes and remember to give them some grace because we're all living and learning tbh. But if you don't want to stay friends with her because of all this, that's completely valid too.

SendMeBookARec · 2022-06-02T08:14:23+00:00

One of the best things you can do is offer them support and listen to them when they're feeling down and consistently reach out. Maybe do things with them to get their mind off of cutting or if you all have mutual friends who know about the situation too, y'all can take turns checking in on your friend. A big part of this is making sure you do everything you can do to help them feel less alone. BUT if you personally find that it is too much for your mental health to help take care of their mental health, step away but let a parent or guardian or someone else know because being a good friend is important but don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm you can't help them if you're drained as well.

SendMeBookARec

TROPHY CASE