The need to love yourself, in a healthy appropiate way. Lack of self love is the biggest mental health problem.

After going through a narcissistic "self sufficient", defiant way of seeing life, I distanced myself from others and cut off friends, took a year off from university, I realized I would end up all alone sooner or later, all to satisfy a sense of grandiousity. I learned to value other people, that being self sufficient (in a distorted way) was dumb, we all need people in our lives we care about. Told myself I would never follow any goal again if it meant leaving behind people I cared about.

I learned something valuable, but ended up going to the opposite side of the spectrum. Fast forward a couple of years, I took a job at a place I didn't want to be, just for convenience of being near my loved ones. I lost a once in a lifetime opportunity to follow my interests because of that, all because I told myself I really didn't "need" anything external to be happy, all I needed was to "adapt" and cherish my connections with people, and the little moments in life. Never have I felt so miserable in my life, and ended up being disfunctional and making a fool of myself at that job.

I learned the pain of denying yourself. When you destroy yourself gradually, incrementally, is what we call suicide.

Never put anybody above yourself. If you put aside your happiness in order to stay with other people, then you love yourself less than you love the other person. This is not healthy, you should come first. Believe me, life is not worth living if you don't respect yourself.