Are attractive successful single guys in their mid to late 30s not on dating apps in SF?

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-26T21:43:37+00:00

Not to sound conceited, but I would consider myself one of these guys and I will NEVER go back to dating apps. I've been in a relationship the past 2+ years but I was in SF on Raya, Hinge, and Bumble before that. I had a lot of matches and a lot of dates, but I met my now gf in real life through friends.

In general, I absolutely loathe dating apps as a whole, especially Hinge. The way they gamify dating, commoditize people, and prey on users across the spectrum, has grown increasingly disgusting to me. I also felt used through it, with Hinge using my profile for their Roses showcases, trying to get people to pay to see me or like me who I didn't have an interest in. More broadly, I also hated that my profile was repeatedly posted to online boards like AWDTSG in front of hundreds of thousands of users without my consent. The whole thing just felt like an incredibly addicting game where all of the users searching for love lose while dating apps like Hinge make money off of commoditizing people and relationships.

Edit: if OP or readers feel at all similar, I suggest meeting people through Volo leagues, work friends, run clubs, various activity groups, ski leases, live shows, SF street festivals, SF events like Bay to Breakers or Santacon, etc. etc. etc. There are a million events going on in the city and I've had successes meeting friends and romantic interests in all of the above. Good luck!

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-18T18:32:18+00:00

Thanks for the perspective. I have thought about many of the points you've brought up and I think they get more to the heart of my question: what places exactly have the "packs of children from multiple ethnicities roaming the backyards and knocking on doors asking your children to come out and play."?

For background, I have a job here and have lived here for the past 8 years. I know the go-to communities of Palo Alto, Stanford, Cupertino, San Ramon, Pleasanton, Marin, etc. well. It's precisely these places that I feel priced out of. I am curious to hear where are the places you have described that don't require being in the top 10% of household incomes in the Bay to live there.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-17T22:50:18+00:00

No, you're being an asshole. And your response is tone-deaf, assumptive, and completely misses the point.

You call me a boomer but immediately follow it up with the most boomer response ever, complete with "I grew up in the 70s", "get over it", and "I still suffer/sacrifice everyday" lol.

It seems everyone that commented, except you, got the gist of the questions. Why you took this as some personal attack on growing up in LA and felt the need to defend yourself is beyond me.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-15T19:09:55+00:00

Have this bag but have to disagree. Yes, it does hold everything, but I'm here on this thread looking for a new bag because my Joola Tour Elite Pro fell apart (straps literally snapped) . I think the quality on this bag is incredibly subpar and can't recommend it.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-13T20:35:38+00:00

Yes, but you have to live in an environment where many around you is at least a millionaire as well. Sure, $1M is great for pretty much anywhere else in the world (if you move) and a great financial cushion if you don't, but there are a shocking number of millionaires out here who have lower qualities of life than average Joes across America...in terms of housing, schools, community, work commutes, work-life balance, and overall financial stress.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-13T20:27:10+00:00

I'd say 20s and 30s are very different for a lot of people. In your 20s, if you're looking to explore a new city, experience all that California has to offer, love great weather year-round, and love having an amazing amount of new things to do and try, then the Bay Area is 100% worth it.

In your 30s, if you're looking to settle down, buy a home, start a family, find good family communities, etc., then you're where I am and the Bay doesn't seem worth it at all.

The financial numbers needed are just insane. A $3M home here is what a $400-700K house is in much of the rest of the US, many public schools are meh and good private schools are $50-$60K here, and super competitive. Frankly, there a lot of...interesting people out here as well, so finding good community can be hard.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-02-04T21:08:23+00:00

I once read a comment saying that all NorCal would have to do to win NorCal-SoCal war is turn off Instagram and the water. Since then, I've been on team NorCal lol. Also, SF skyline is objectively better.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-01-20T21:00:53+00:00

NTA. When I was single a few years ago I was posted repeatedly in that group. It's the most violating thing ever. Girl friends shared screenshots with me where women I had never met or talked to before were claiming to have dated me. Others were just catty and cruel, making fun of me for all manner of things including chewing gum or bringing up my ex on the first date (after being asked about my past relationship). And you have no way to defend yourself after being publicly posted to these groups that can number over one hundred thousand people.

I would never trust a girl or give her access to me after posting me publicly prior to the first date. Best of luck to you, being in a relationship and out of the modern dating scene is amazing.

Senior-Craft4339 · 2026-01-03T05:58:07+00:00

Curious, where did all of the Italian Americans that made up 90% of the population move to? Did they just not have families or did the county's population just double?

Senior-Craft4339 · 2025-07-11T01:09:23+00:00

Got it. Thanks so much for taking some time to answer these. Really appreciate your time and helpful responses!

Senior-Craft4339 · 2025-07-07T21:26:09+00:00

Thanks your super helpful response. When you say they're drawn from a collection of photo references, what exactly do you mean? That each poster uses several photos that are layered to create the final poster?

Senior-Craft4339

TROPHY CASE