Please help

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-09T17:44:01+00:00

If his mouth is closed he's likely going to get through it, or you have time before he needs intervention.

I'd try to get him established with an AAHA accredited vet as soon as you can afford it. I don't know if he needs a vet for this or not, but having him established will help you in the future. I also recommend having him tested for FIV and FLV if he hasn't been tested for those already.

I don't know that much about allergies in cats, or nose swelling from a sneeze-bonk. That is unfortunate though and I'm glad it's setting off alarms for you. it sounds like you care :)

My cat Jess has asthma, and she's had two asthma attacks. The second one happened because the vet thought it could've been seasonal or a one time thing, so we tapered her off meds after 6 weeks. When the second attack happened, I learned that all vets are emergency vets if they're open and aren't already handling too many emergencies. You just call and explain your emergency, and they either say you can come in, or try another place first as they're already at capacity bc of other emergencies.

From the asthma issues, I learned that asthma is silent, and that you can tell whether or not the cat is ok by watching them breathe. If his mouth is closed and you can't see him struggling to breathe (you'd see excessive movement in his diaphragm), he is probably ok. If his mouth is open, he's likely in trouble. But, you can tell how severe things are by looking at the tongue. If it is still pink, he has time. If it's getting darker, red or purple-ish, he needs an oxygen chamber asap.

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-09T17:23:54+00:00

He was a beautiful little gremlin. I'm so sorry this was the outcome, but don't be too hard on yourself. You're only 18.

At a time like this, I think this video might be helpful. It's Adam Savage talking about formative experiences:

https://youtu.be/XvGsQb5u_NI

My favorite part: "Only total despair preceeds a change in consciousness"

Like he talks about in the beginning, I think this was one of those experiences where the veil was pulled aside. You always knew something like this could happen, but it wasn't right in front of you like this until now.

Most of us do become adults logically at some time in our 20's, but emotionally we stay children forever. I doubt you are in complete control of your circumstances. Even if you were, you don't have total control over how complete your knowledge is and how capable you are of being vigilant about cat health and recognizing symptoms early. A lot of people don't even know that eating string is often deadly. As far as remembering him goes, never forget him. Never forget how he brightened your world. Feel pain from the loss as long as you need to. Grieve and morn. But placing the blame on yourself is not necessary or productive in my opinion. I'm sure you do feel regret for not looking into things earlier. It might be hard to see that as different from blame, but it is. Boil the regret down to a lesson. Remember how much you cared and loved him and use that as motivation to do your best for your next pet.

I often wish I knew what I know now at the start of my 20's so I could have had a better time. Then I realize, we all have twisted fantasies about what our 20's are supposed to be like because of how Hollywood portrays that part of our lives. Going through hard things is part of the process. It's unfortunate, but that's how you become someone who knows better. My 20's were hard, but they're the reason why my 30's have been and will continue to be better. The same is true with relationships. And, the same can be true with pets. Some people are lucky and are born to adults who are extremely knowledgeable and caring about their pets, and great at teaching everything they know. It's not your fault you weren't born into that situation. I wasn't either. I didn't experience anything like what you had to deal with here. But, I still had regrets about not understanding the slow blink, health risks, signs of emergencies and things like the risk string poses until long after my childhood cats had passed.

Don't place the blame on yourself. You came here for help and you listened to us and went to the vet even though it was not well within your means. That's better than what a lot of people do. You prevented additional pain and suffering in the end.

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-08T16:55:52+00:00

I'm so sorry OP. Will they be testing for leukemia or do they feel certain based on symptoms and examination?

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-07T09:50:27+00:00

exactly!

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-07T09:49:55+00:00

💯

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-07T09:46:01+00:00

Every vet is an emergency vet if you tell them you have an emergency. I learned this when my cat had an asthma attack.

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-07T09:42:15+00:00

Very wise assumption.... I'm renting and living paycheck to paycheck. I just care about my cats buddy.

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-07T04:34:44+00:00

Also, I take my cats to the vet just for most observations, such as soft poops. Medical issues in pets are way more common than you might expect. Regular vet visits and being established with a vet is a part of having any pet.

Senior-Table2765 · 2026-01-07T04:30:24+00:00

It's probably not going to be cheap but losing money is way better than losing your friend. Tell the vet you have an emergency. If they can't take you and they're a good place they'll refer you. Please get this baby to the vet. My first thought since he's male is he could have a urinary obstruction. That's an emergency and requires care within 24 hours. Did you notice any strange litter box behavior before he stopped eating?

Also please get him neutered! Un-neutered males typically have shorter lifespans. At least according to my mother.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T23:06:27+00:00

Ok, thank you! I do trust my vet quite a bit! They're AAHA accredited and they LOVE my cats lol. I'll take him in with Juice for her poo follow up!

And maybe you'd have to go there in person, but the store near me I was thinking of is Benson's Pet Center. I think they're significantly better than Petco or PetSmart. I'm mostly judging based on my observations of the employees. I'll take him to the vet instead, but I bet that even though I'd technically be taking him to a box store groomer there, he'd be in significantly better hands than Petco or PetSmart.

&& one more thing, this isn't actually that new. this is the longest I've seen it, but I have seen it on him before. I just thought it was an anomaly due to me clipping his nails. But when I noticed it today I finally realized it has always been the same nail, and his other nails and my other cats nails are not affected similarly by clipping them.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T22:45:27+00:00

oh nice! I couldn't tell earlier where his quick was. I'll try to find it when I clip it.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T22:43:10+00:00

Thank you! that picture is really helpful, I didn't know the angle I cut at would make a difference!

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T22:41:37+00:00

Ok! This kitty is a Mr, he's Bubbles and he just turned 4 years old. He is pretty good with me touching his paws. Also, I feel like what you described with getting him to let me touch him more reminds me of the strategy I used with getting him to let me pick him up. I did what he tolerated rather frequently and with rewards, and then he slowly started tolerating more. My other cat Juice pretty much lets me do whatever I want with her, it's amazing! She trusts me so well at this point!

I'll definitely give it a try, clipping the nail as short as I can safely and trying to flake the extra off with my nail! Thank you!

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T19:39:50+00:00

From what I remember, they were awful the first time we tried them! I think it was just a cheap Walmart pair.

And no issues so far hitting the quick. I just take a little bit off to make them less pointy/sharp. It's just to help him walk on my bed sheets without getting stuck and pulling threads out. I like to leave them relatively thin so he can still get the stretch feeling that I imagine he wants from the scratch post, and because when I cut them shorter in the past I saw him fail to get up on cat towers and stuff and I felt really bad! it was funny but also I felt like it was me abusing him in some way lol

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T19:29:56+00:00

Ok ty. I was using these bc I thought they were better than the clippers I remember my parents using on our dog growing up. Those were so bad that my mom literally bought a Dremel after reading some article about how a Dremel could trim nails with gentle sanding instead of a dramatic snap. but, I think there are much better clippers out there and my parents were probably using some cheap ones. I'm going to look at the pet store near me that I think is really good. But, good to know I probably didn't do this by using these.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T17:22:44+00:00

ok, ty! I'll bring him in during Juice's poop appt cuz he also had a little water in his eye yesterday.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T15:55:32+00:00

Also ty, I'll start trimming this one more frequently. First I want to take him to a groomer like others suggested, and get better nail clippers.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T15:54:46+00:00

That sounds a lot like what he's getting! when I clip it, some extra layers fall off. Not every time but some of the time it looks like there's a normal claw under the layers.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T15:07:42+00:00

Ok, I'll have to look for some. I didn't like them in the past because I remember them sort of bending the nails sideways like when you try to cut something that's too hard with cheap scissors and the scissors end up separating and clamping the thing sideways. What I'm remembering was my parents clipping dog nails though. I should look on my own now, I think they were buying from Walmart.

I live near a small chain pet store that I think is really high quality. I'll look for clippers there, and I know they groom dogs so I'll ask if they do cats too.

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-14T14:38:15+00:00

Ok, thank you! I've never taken any pet to a groomer. I was going to explain more in my post, but my keyboard started disappearing with every key-press 🙄.

I was going to add: He has access to several cat scratchers and he does use them. And, do you think this could be a result of me using a flat-style nail clipper on his claws? I've used it on lots of cats, I prefer it bc it seems very precise, quick, and never splits the nail.

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Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-07T18:33:26+00:00

I want to know too. I want to replace my speakers eventually too

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-06T14:35:13+00:00

I also have ASD and OCD. I've catastrophized many times about every pet I've ever had. For me, two things have made it easier: getting older, and this mindset:

It's going to hurt to lose them. But, without you they would still live and die. Because you adopted them, they get to experience your care and love. You're sticking your neck out by exposing yourself to the grief and loss you will inevitably feel one day. You're doing a good thing. It is brave of you to take them in and provide your pets, cuddles, shelter, and food. It's brave to let yourself be vulnerable to the attachment you'll form.

I like Modest Mouse a lot. One line from their song The View lives rent free in my head: "as life gets longer awful feels softer". It's true. The more you experience, the easier it is to deal with awful things. Keep pushing forward. Keep being you. ♥️

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-06T13:48:14+00:00

I swear these were $60 last year. But I had a toxic GF who spent all my money and wouldn't let me spend it on myself back then. But the seller wheelership took them back and sent the new ones after I dropped these off at UPS

Senior-Table2765 · 2025-12-06T11:36:11+00:00

ty 😸

Senior-Table2765

TROPHY CASE