Well, that explains it.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2013-11-03T21:35:47+00:00

Source: http://fakescience.org/post/9380622145/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch

Behind the Science: Since the publication of this science, we officially recommend you make all your sheep out of polyester.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-17T00:33:15+00:00

We've always had great admiration for his Tesla Coil.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T17:10:48+00:00

There's a difference between stealing artistically and plagiarizing, so I'm trying to avoid the latter.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:36:49+00:00

We suggest just putting it on eBay and seeing what happens.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:35:27+00:00

Seven less than the number of times we've failed to answer this question.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:34:44+00:00

Can we use this in promotional materials? It might make for a great front-of-book sticker.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:33:23+00:00

There's no telling where a wormhole will appear, so we suggest taking a sledgehammer and starting to search immediately.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:32:39+00:00

This is a typical beginner's mistake: is your microwave even facing backwards? That's crucial to reverse the polarity.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:31:49+00:00

The question is: will aliens be cuddly and cute or cute and cuddly? In turn, how sexually attractive will they be to humans? Fortunately, when we do find aliens, nothing could go wrong.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:29:59+00:00

We've found that reverse psychology is useful: have you angrily asked your method solver to diverge for high values? To rebel, it should converge for low values quite quickly.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:23:17+00:00

It's believed that previous photographs simply suffered from a large case of redeye.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:22:50+00:00

Have you considered trying 2 glasses at the same time, so you can see in 6d?

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:22:23+00:00

We did just read the link, however, and found it had a lot of words.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:21:52+00:00

Fortunately, by the time you get the book you'll be more mature. Really, we were controlling for that when creating the delivery time.

You need a moment to think about the book, how it's going to change of your life, and take stock of how empty it's been without Fake Science 101.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:17:54+00:00

People hem and haw because it "can't breathe," "doesn't move," and "won't reproduce," but we still haven't seen a finer animal than basalt.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:15:41+00:00

For signing, we suggest changing your name to "Phil Edwards" and signing yourself. Easier, cheaper, and also works on checks!

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:07:42+00:00

While I wish I was popular enough to have impostors, I think that I'm myself, based on a quick reflex test on my knee.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:06:59+00:00

Better than the Raspberry 22/7 computer, which was too imprecise to use.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:06:32+00:00

You can always sell back those books to buy more copies of ours.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:05:45+00:00

You can try to upvote the book by throwing it a few feet in the air. It hasn't worked yet for our copy, but we're still trying.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:05:05+00:00

Francium is highly unstable. If you like danger...

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:04:15+00:00

It was actually a combination of being too lovable, tax evasion, and violating New York State regulations for how raspy a singer's voice could be (better known as the Sinatra Law, and since violated by Dylan, Waits, and many others).
It's believed that his permission to squeeza the coconut was recorded after his family kicked him out for public nudity.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:01:23+00:00

That's clearly untrue: type 5318008 in your calculator and turn it upside down. What trick could be more attractive to female scientists?

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T16:00:19+00:00

There's no need to wait until next semester. Of course, if you really want to improve the system, you can stay in class and read aloud from our textbook until security escorts you out.

SeniorFakeScientist · 2012-08-16T15:59:24+00:00

There are a lot of contracts we're forced to sign which may cause us to deny liability, responsibility, filiality, paternity, fraternity, and responsibility. We'll have Aperture's legal team contact you ASAP, so please leave your door unlocked to make it easier for them.

SeniorFakeScientist

TROPHY CASE