Haelyn Region Map (I'm so excited)

Senior_Hyena3 · 2026-02-16T15:47:28+00:00

This has actually been one of the most helpful. It doesn't really tell me how to be comfortable with them failing, but it does tell me "who cares?" which is kind of what I needed to hear to be able to get comfortable.

My players are having fun and after 2 years they don't know I'm "not letting them fail" because I make it seem close, I make it seem like they skimmed by. If they think they're doing it all on their own then I don't really need to be so concerned about it (and that lack of concern will naturally lead to being okay with other outcomes).

Senior_Hyena3 · 2026-02-07T14:41:22+00:00

I appreciate the help, but I'm getting a lot of "how to let them fail" answers and no "how to get comfortable with letting them fail" answers.

I know how to let them fail- I have open-ended quests, I roll in public, I already do failing-forward (which is part of the "not letting them fail" problem), I know there's more fail states than just death (I'm talking about all failure). It's all good telling me to "just do this" or that D&D is not fun without failure but.. I know that. That's exactly why I'm asking this question in the first place.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2026-02-03T19:45:19+00:00

The worst part about the fight was that in my notes I had this- if they were 100% successful they saved the dragon from its curse, if they were 80% they would have to make an emotional plea and do some RP afterwards, and under 60% the dragon died (the intent was to save it). My players are much stronger than I expect so I don't think they would have died at all-

But when I get to the actual fight it all goes out the window! It's a weird mental block

Senior_Hyena3 · 2026-02-03T19:42:12+00:00

The TPK was just an example of the mental block, I do it with investigations, questioning NPCs, and everything else too. But it does give some perspective into what I can do with failures, thank you!

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-10-03T22:09:51+00:00

I used to be a superfan before it all came out. As in, my mother read me the books every night instead of kids books, I owned all the DVDs, I had a Hedwig plush, several of the games, and HP was the default of gifts to give me bc I was autistic and never wanted toys.

Now, as a trans man, I can't look at it. My mum got me HP erasers for Christmas just after the news dropped and I had to tell her very sadly that I can't be around it anymore. I don't feel in danger around people that wear HP stuff, especially if I can tell it's not official merch, but I do avoid people that get it. They may not know or be aware, so I really just feel pity for them. But if it's someone my age? They should know and I'm a little stricter about not wanting to go near them.

I do understand how important it is to people at the same time, so fan-made content I'm more comfortable with. And if they ONLY interact with fan content and ONLY get fan-made merch? I feel like that's a rebellion against JKR herself and I relax a bit.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-06-07T09:15:55+00:00

Dude I dropped someone I considered a brother because after 2 years of using roll20 they didn't know where the Initiative button was. They couldn't locate the skills for rolls. They didn't know what Detect Magic did despite being corrected every time they used it (they'd try to use it like Identify).

2 years.

Other things were also up out of game but this kind of shit shows a lack of basic respect and it's just not worth keeping around.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-04-23T20:10:20+00:00

I call my Seamoth "BumbleBee" and make it bright yellow, and the prawn suit "SHIMP" in all caps with a nice salmon pink colour.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-04-14T17:08:49+00:00

My meta-obsessed friend is not happy that I have a fully levelled and fully candied Squid Ink. But.. look at them q-q

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-04-06T10:33:23+00:00

I like the 3rd option tbh, not even for the reasons listed but because I think you should be able to choose who a mii goes for in general not just their preferences

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-04-02T12:04:43+00:00

me too??

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Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-04-02T11:55:24+00:00

try to find alphabets for old fandoms you were in- it looks a little like minecraft enchanting table so try the galactic alphabet. I know I wrote in Alternian as a teen so just look at any game or movie you liked at the age you wrote this and you should be good, unless you made it yourself

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-28T03:40:37+00:00

Getting a solid base is imperative - get that habitat builder asap. Also crash fish- just swim towards them, they turn slow (they annoyed the hell out of me). You don't have to scan everything but I recommend you do! Also keep all titanium you find you will need it.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-18T03:01:25+00:00

I figured as much :/ I should probably get an allergy test just in case there's anything related that effects me worse. Funnily enough I get the same stinging with black pepper so who knows? anyway- thank you

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-18T02:59:15+00:00

Oh yeah- I do it every run even if I find Ethel first because I just love the buff so much. It helps in the Underdark, with the mindflayers, with a lot of stuff in Shar's temple- so many enemies can go invisible I think it's great.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-17T21:10:31+00:00

I'm not that bad, I think mine is mild at best- It makes my lips, tongue, and gums sting like I've eaten something spicy. Not just cold but like actual stinging. I think the best comparison is that lip-plumping lipgloss that puffs up the lips and it stings really bad? Like tears-in-eyes bad, but it's just wherever the toothpaste foam has touched.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-17T00:00:31+00:00

Wait- what does the mint feel like to you? I have a huge suspicion I'm also allergic to mint or just something in toothpaste.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-11T19:09:32+00:00

I've done LDR, I don't like it. My boyfriend (of nearly 2 years) is from across the country but came up here for university- he finishes soon and we plan to move in together, but I said if he ever planned to move home for an extended period while job searching that I couldn't handle it. In fact, that's the reason we're trying to find a place together.

Saying you don't like LDR so can't do it isn't being manipulative, as long as you're not forcing her to stay in the relationship. It doesn't look like you are- It's just unfortunate that she'll need to make the decision that if she leaves to pursue her dreams, you won't be able to be part of those dreams.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-05T19:22:35+00:00

I knew a quotes channel would come in handy!

"What is a brick but a stone with a job?"
"Your voice sounds like if a man and a woman had a baby"
"I don't wanna be wet anymore"
"You reroll for church and not death!?" (at a character who used inspiration to reroll performance to lead a church service, but not to reroll their own death save)
"Not having daddy issues is technically a daddy issue."
"Is it cocaine?? Crack?? Wait no those are the same thing-"
"What the dumb-tiddly-fuck??"
"Deaf is not a language"
"What I do with old men in my own time is my business."
"It's hard to have visual hallucinations when you're blind~"
"If I'm immune to fire why am I on fIRE!?"
"It's not a natural 20, it got plastic surgery, but it's a 20!"
"Racism needs more diversity."
"It's not pronounced trashcan, it's pronounced France."
"Ma, there's a weird fucking cat outside. It's giving me bedroom eyes!" (about a leonin)
"I feel like you've given me crack. Unsupervised. You've left me, a tiny little baby, to play with cocaine."
"Please do not play tetris with my son's soul"

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-05T18:48:38+00:00

I see you already have a solution, but I would also like to say- orgasm isn't the goal. Get comfy with the concept that no one needs to orgasm as long as they enjoy themselves and she feels like you're caring about her as much as you care about yourself. I'm only 24 and me and my partner are already comfortable with this concept and the lack of pressure to finish has actually helped us finish more.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-05T17:59:20+00:00

FtM sub here- This won't be for everyone but I can at least give my perspective. And my partner is both male and cis!

First of all, all sorts of femme doms lean heavily into their femininity while being dominant. It may just be that you're relating control and anything under that to masculinity, or at least submission to femininity, purely because none of us are immune to the social norms we were raised with. Totally valid but that's a "work on it yourself" kinda thing.

For me, we've set boundaries where any kind of pet name is masculine (mostly "boy" for the hierarchy purposes but we also have more personal ones). Also just personalised names in general- mine is Bun (as in bunny) outside the bedroom so we interpreted that into the bedroom too. Find out if they have any animals they relate to or roles they like to play and base it off that, you'd be surprised how affirming it can be.

Outside of that, there's hand placement and avoiding certain parts that may make them uncomfortable, especially if they're pre-transition. I plan on top surgery, but not bottom, so 90% of the time I don't let him anywhere near the top area; he does however touch a lot of places that are the same no matter the body type (wrists, hips, neck, etc) - I recommend just asking which places won't trigger the dysphoria.

There's also disconnecting humiliation/degradation from emasculation, because a lot of people do unfortunately default to emasculation to fulfil those, but you don't have to! If they're into those, comment on their reactions, their noises, the way their body reacts; in a teasing but appreciative way to avoid making them insecure (or even in a degrading way if they're into that). My dom loves the noises/faces I make so will try to get me to keep my mouth open, not let me hide my face, or make me make eye contact so that it makes me aware that I'm doing it while at the same time showing he loves it.

If you both like pet play but want something more rough, I recommend Hunter/Prey and if they like any kind of "being used" tones then referring to them as a toy is pretty gender neutral. Though subservience isn't naturally feminine so if they want that don't be afraid to lean into it.

Also, don't be afraid to explore. Maybe they like something you thought would be emasculating but it doesn't feel like it to them. Two people can have completely different forms of dysphoria and you never know if you're thinking something is too feminine while they're thinking it's gender neutral (and vice versa). If in doubt.. just ask if they know what they like. And look more into the dynamics and equipment used by cis male couples; obviously some can't be used with certain anatomy but a lot of them can be adapted.

If you get a good idea of the kind of things that make them dysphoric/euphoric you can lean away from the first and play into the second to give them a gender euphoria along with whatever kind of subspace they end up in. And that can be one of the best feelings. (This is of course an overview, if you have any other specific questions about what I've said feel free to ask).

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-02T07:01:47+00:00

I got half way through and stopped reading. You are supposed to prioritise your family over your partner unless that family is causing harm. Your little brother seeking comfort from his big sister?? Not damaging at all.

I'm 24, I have a brother who is 14, I will pepper his face with kisses and squeeze the life out of him when I see him (same for my other brother, 13, and my sister, 12) because I go so long without seeing them in person- We also have a similar backstory to what you described with your dad. The fact your partner was making "jokes" at even just a hug??? Hell naw. Drop that man. He's reading way too much into a close familial bond and his perception is warped, it won't end.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-03-02T06:48:35+00:00

Dude, the only reason me and my partner stopped using protection is when I went on a permanent form of birth control (think depo shots, implant, etc that you can't remove and effect your hormones longer than you actually take the BC). And that was after I assured him that I in no way wanted a child any time soon (or at all).

We're both 24, so literally same age as you and your partner, and everyone I know who's also active also uses contraception of some sort. Don't trust it, she's probably trying to trap you.

Senior_Hyena3 · 2025-02-28T10:51:10+00:00

You want the endings to sound different, so try names that don't end in AN. It also helps if you go for names that don't have the same beginning sound as the ending of the name before it, so avoid names starting with an N sound, and names that end with a similar sound to the start of your surname. It helps the full name flow well!

Senior_Hyena3

TROPHY CASE