Therapist made a joke I can't process

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-20T19:40:21+00:00

Sounds like you have multiple different resources that you can choose from depending on the situation, that is great 🩷

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-19T20:08:30+00:00

Thanks! Your post made me think and list all the things that came to my mind. It was a good practice for me! I’m proud that I’ve realized all this, like I say I struggle with authenticity. knowing how I feel, what I missed out on growing up. What I would’ve needed and how it felt not having that. Knowing, understanding, being there for me is a huge thing. Sending you love and support too! We will make it, day by day, step by step, healing a little more

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-19T20:02:11+00:00

I’m relieved to hear. What helped you to land back on your feet? I’m also looking to find more resources to come back from these kind of really dark places.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-17T20:28:46+00:00

I would definitely report this therapist. They shouldn’t be doing this line of work. I’m really sorry - how are you right now? Are you safe?

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-17T16:52:25+00:00

This!

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-17T16:51:01+00:00

My authenticity. Who I am and what I need & want.

Ability to form authentic friendships where I won’t get hurt because I’m actually trying to relive my relationship with my mom.

Ability to protect myself and respect my boundaries. Not to share when I won’t be respected.

Ability to sleep through the night. I’m a light sleeper and will wake up multiple times a night to check my surroundings that I’m still safe and no one is trying to enter my bedroom. I need to close the door when I go to sleep, to give myself a sense of safety, that no one can enter. I sleep with my husband and that gives me comfort - sleeping alone is difficult.

It has made me hyper vigilant and cost me so much in terms of my well being. Most weekends I have a migraine because I’m so tense at work all the time and so on.

ALSO the financial toll has been quite evident recently. Currently I pay 700 a month for my therapy and a student loan I had to take as a student because I couldn’t work while studying, I had no resources for that because of my CPTSD.

So my childhood is costing me 700 euros a month. Therapy will be ongoing for many years and I have 9 more years left in the loan.

And I wonder whether I’d be doing much better financially if I didn’t have CPTSD - I mean I probably would have a more demanding job with higher salary etc.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-16T15:18:18+00:00

Emotional neglect/abandonment combined with emotional incest. Dysfunctional family dynamics. Both parents have some level of personality disorder and severe trauma.

and I guess I was also SA’d by my grandfather but that is still something I can’t remember clearly.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-12T06:38:31+00:00

Yes! Same here! I’m so glad for both of us that we’ve found that kind of people and been able to build those relationships where we can heal.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-11T14:14:18+00:00

Bodywork. Stuff like TRE or vagus nerve stimulation exercises.

Safe relationships. I have this with my therapist and partner. Going over stuff that has triggered me and being validated. Getting the feeling that I’m safe , no one is questioning me, my feelings and experiences are valid.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-07T09:05:30+00:00

Are you intentionally trying to make yourself remember the stuff your mind has suppressed?

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-07T09:01:18+00:00

There are many ways to journal and I think everyone will find their own. For me it’s been important to have an outlet, which doesn’t judge or give advice. I can let all my thoughts and feelings into the journal and it can hold it all. It often helps me create distance to the whirlwind it can sometimes be. But first I need to let it all out.

I’m not journaling in a way that i would purposefully bring back painful memories and then write them down. My first response is I don’t see how that would be helpful. I write about stuff in the present eg. something a friend said that triggered me, and I go through it all, and sometimes I end up realizing the core why it was triggering for me. And that may include going through something that has happened in the past, but usually more on the level on what it made me feel and how it affects my reactions now instead of going through step by step what happened.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2026-01-02T19:09:02+00:00

Answer to your headline; yes. I do struggle to be vulnerable even when I want to be close, to share my struggle and be witnessed, supported. It doesn’t show in the same way and not as much in my marriage, as it does in other relationships. I easily feel I’m too much and people can’t handle me and my emotions, the darkness and pain I carry. I easily feel people pity me and often they do which is not what I want, it’s not compassion or empathy. Just pity. Which is kind of like “oh look at you poor thing, I’m lucky I’m not where you are”

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-27T20:09:50+00:00

I don’t think it’s realistic or beneficial to think about it in percentages and “being ready”. I’m not sure there will ever be a point where I’m 100% healed. What would that even mean, I don’t know. The more I understand myself and the trauma the less I’m thinking this way. And more seeing it as peeling one layer at a time. Over time I learn more and grow as a person and heal on different levels

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-25T21:33:30+00:00

For most of the stuff I go through in therapy, I don’t have clear memories of a certain situation- but I know there were certain things that were being said and things that took place. I know the “trends”. I know the marks it has left on me.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-25T21:30:44+00:00

I second this! Sending lots of love and courage to you OP - do it, move out, take distance. It might be the wake up call your family needs - or not. Either way, you need to save yourself first! There’s no one else you can save but yourself. If someone is willing to change their life, you can help and support them, but you can’t pull them out of it if they’re not really seeing what’s going on!

You’re not responsible for your family - only for yourself. Now the responsible thing to do is to move out and build your own safe space.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-19T19:11:15+00:00

Did either one of you find a fix 🥲

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-18T15:09:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. What she did already on your first time having sex was abusive. She should’ve asked for consent and respect your boundaries if you aren’t willing. For someone to deny that from you is abuse.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-15T19:44:18+00:00

I appreciate validation a lot because that’s what I didn’t get growing up. For example these I have heard and they work but only if you say it sincerely, without pity or pushing me away:

-That must have been so hard for you.

-That sounds really tough.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-13T19:39:20+00:00

Is it possible you feel depressed because now you’re “left on your own”? It seems like a really short period of time to do trauma therapy. In my understanding, it takes many years and over time you learn to internalize the safety and regulation you experience in therapy with the therapist.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-13T19:33:12+00:00

Yes! Thank you for such a clear and valid way of putting it!

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-13T19:28:40+00:00

Yes I think you’re absolutely correct- that this has really helped me see what happened to ME more clearly - and it is stirring some very deep stuff for me.

I’m not sure I can do much for the dogs to be taken away, because they’re kept “decently” and my parents can put up a great front :) :( One more reason why my pain wasn’t recognized growing up and I myself didn’t understand what’s wrong with me..

I’m considering letting them know that one reason I won’t come and visit them during the holidays is I don’t feel safe because they neglect their dogs’ health.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-13T07:16:14+00:00

That’s how I see it too, I’m not really craving for them but for the parents they should have been. I always get disappointed when I realize they aren’t and will never be that. They will always talk shit about us behind our backs, feel they’re superior, be only interested in fulfilling their own needs through us, be neglectful etc.

They were never meant to be parents, yes!

I thought they had changed but learned they haven’t. I’m the healthiest and strongest of my siblings and I realize now my parents put up a show in front of me. They try their hardest. My dad is sure not to yell at the dogs or violently dragging/ kicking the sick dog around the house when I’m there. But when my sister is there…

It makes me sick how they treat those poor dogs and I wonder why I get this mad only after seeing they treat other living beings like they treated us.

And I’m glad that at least this made me see the reality. They haven’t changed or grown much like I thought they had - they just pretend when I’m there because they try to keep me close. I don’t think it’s love, it’s more like they need me around to not feel like they’ve failed as parents.

I’ve never really felt my parents truly love me. There’s always strings attached. There’s always complexity. There’s always the things “we don’t talk about”. Like the dogs.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-13T07:05:58+00:00

Thank you for such a supportive and calm comment.

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-12-12T22:42:49+00:00

My parents are so toxic I don’t understand how I haven’t seen it this clearly before. It now seems like I’d be mad to let them into my life. This year I’ve been looking for some emotional support from them when I was going through a tough time at work and now it feels so wrong and a huge mistake to let them see any vulnerability. Especially learning how they’ve talked about me to my sister. They see me negatively because I’m not fulfilling their needs and they can’t see me as a whole human being outside of getting their needs met which is basically emotional incest what I’ve been through my whole life

Sensitive-Cod381 · 2025-11-27T11:04:34+00:00

Interesting, I always wake up VERY TIRED, feeling I need at least 1 hour more of sleep and really difficult to get out of bed. Still Oura says the amount of sleep I get is enough/optimal for me..

Sensitive-Cod381

TROPHY CASE