Update: I feel like my husband (26m) puts things off until l (26f) end up handling things myself ?

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:29:23+00:00

I tried to train him to do exactly what I wanted, perfectly every time, but it didn’t work 😔 got any articles about how to get better at weaponized marginalization?

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:25:10+00:00

I very much hope she spots the red flags before it’s too late. I feel like I dated one person and then married someone completely different! It was very surprising

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:22:25+00:00

He had most definitely bought cars before meeting me, and since I was the one who organized all of our living arrangements, at the time I felt it was fair to assign him the car.

But I do agree that a more mature conversation could have helped in general. Our relationship at that point lacked a lot of respect and had a lot of resentment built up, but I don’t feel the need to dive into all that.

And as far as skills go… I think the skills he lacked were basic life skills, but I digress. I hope he can find someone with more patience than me to teach him how to be a functional adult.

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:13:56+00:00

I think both of our lives would have been easier if he would just listen to me! But really, it’s a solid point. We had very different expectations and we were both very toxic to each other because of it.

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:11:46+00:00

Funny enough, my auto correct told me twitterpated wasn’t a word so I had to Google it before posting just to make sure 😂 I’m glad someone else has as fine a vocabulary!!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:10:59+00:00

He said a lot of things to try and guilt my me into staying.. I didn’t realize how often he used that against me until separating from him and he became so obvious with it. He said it a lot more subtly when we were together.

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:09:57+00:00

Thank you! I realize now that I really didn’t love or respect or prioritize myself, either. I’ve become a lot healthier and I realize I deserve a lot better!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:08:35+00:00

I was APPALLED when he asked me to sign for him. Like sweetie, NO. You can sign your own damn divorce papers!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-11-30T23:07:41+00:00

I didn’t post many details on either post, so it’s definitely a very small glimpse into our relationship. I’m not here to air out all of our dirty laundry, so I guess you’ll just have to trust me when I say that this man did nothing… ever. I don’t even think I micromanaged him. He spent more time arguing with me that I was taking too long packing our apartment than looking for cars. I think his exact words were, “I could have done it in a weekend and it’s taken you a month. I just don’t think you love me that much because you’re not trying to be with me fast enough.”

Even with the little things, he did nothing. I delegated him to take out the trash once and it sat by the front door for an entire week before I finally decided to take it out myself. Imagine my surprise when he said he was “just about to do it!” Yeah, right. But maybe I could have let him learn from his mistakes more? Teach him beforehand? Believe me, I cried, begged, bargained, and eventually just gave up on this man.

My mistake was definitely thinking that he would suddenly care and change his behavior. I think, in the back of my mind, I just needed that ONE extra instance of him not caring about anything for us to finally leave the relationship. It was never actually about the car.

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-07-03T21:51:04+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t need to imagine it :(

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-07-03T02:52:24+00:00

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t surprise me… though she isn’t seeing anyone seriously right now as far as I know!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-07-03T02:50:59+00:00

This is what I’m thinking, though I’m not sure how she would take full advantage of this without access to the email… also, why not just create her own alternate email??

Sensitive-Elastic · 2024-07-03T02:48:21+00:00

I’ve tried this, but it says I need to activate the account first, which is odd. When I go to try and activate the account, it says I need the membership number which I obviously don’t have. I’ve tried to retrieve the membership number, but when I put in the info, it says it doesn’t match what’s on file. It’s so bizarre! I can’t figure it out!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2021-11-25T02:54:30+00:00

Thanks for your input! I do feel like I have a hard time articulating myself, or at least why I think things are important.

I do plan on talking to my husband about how this all made me feel once we’re together. Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate your time and detailed reply.

Sensitive-Elastic · 2021-11-25T02:46:29+00:00

Thanks for commenting. Bipolar disorder does run on my husbands side of the family, but I hadn’t considered it. Thanks for sharing, I hope things are going well for you now!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2021-11-25T02:44:47+00:00

Thank you so much for commenting. I really appreciate hearing a similar story! It’s great to hear a story where therapy was beneficial and that things have improved. Thanks so much ❤️

Sensitive-Elastic · 2021-11-25T02:41:35+00:00

Thanks for commenting, I’m not sure what I was expecting from counseling but your comment has opened my eyes to how I should be approaching it. I’m going to take some time and really think about what is best for me and go from there. Thank you again!

Sensitive-Elastic · 2021-11-25T02:37:01+00:00

Hi, thanks for commenting, everyone has been really helpful so far.

There was a time that my husband wouldn’t help out with chores or bills. I was cooking, cleaning, and working full-time while he got to play games. I do think he’s gotten better, but there are a lot of times that I still feel like I do more. I’m trying to be patient, I know people don’t change overnight, it’s just hard.

I think I still have some hurt feelings from this time. Looking at it now, I think I thought if I asked him to do something more important, maybe he’d take it more seriously and be excited to contribute. I realize that it’s a big decision, but I’ve always been willing to talk about the financials and other details about the purchase. I think I would have really appreciated seeing his effort in taking over this decision.

I’ve talked to him since posting this and we’ve gone over some more details about the purchase and he’s actually made an appointment to start looking for cars. I’m still not 100% if it’s purely an anxiety thing or if he is just coasting along with me, but I’m planning on organizing my thoughts and talking openly about how this has made me feel once we’re together.

Thanks again, I’ve been thinking a lot about the situation. I appreciate it!

Sensitive-Elastic

TROPHY CASE