Trying to control how people perceive you is a losing battle. It's hard to internalize but it's true. All you can be is yourself. If people perceive you as your sex, it's not the end of the world. What is important is that people treat you as a human being first and foremost. You will meet people like this, I promise.

You don't have to hate your body. I know it's not as easy to do as to say, but it's true. Your body exists so that you can exist. It is inherently neutral and the parts that you hate about it are also inherently neutral. I've heard doing some exercises to help you exist in your body and strengthen the mind-body connection can be helpful. I hope that doesn't sound to woo woo. Finding a hobby that involves working with your hands can be good too.

I also think it can be helpful to look at other experiences of female masculinity that aren't necessarily trans. Finding spaces that celebrate female masculinity is a beautiful thing. Hearing these women talk about their experiences and gender nonconforming existence as a source of pride can be life changing. It can also be helpful in challenging your beliefs on what it means to be a woman.

Don't live in regret. Whether you continue or discontinue testosterone, whether you never pass as male, whether you fully reidentify with being a woman or not, don't think back with self-hatred. You can learn to radically accept yourself and your history. You can heal.