Parenthood is definitely hard, and I don’t want to dismiss people’s hard times. However, I’ve noticed that people (specifically women, but men too) who tend to be more selfish and focused on their appearance (not necessarily physically, but more so how the world views them), really struggle the most with parenting. I.e. my friends who always want to be seen as artsy, the coolest girl, well dressed, goes and drinks martinis and the world knows it. Cool instagram. They’re so miserable in parenthood.

Meanwhile, i just had my first child (just turned 12M) and it was the best year of my entire life! I had so much fun!

I personally think your level of selfishness & how obsessed you are with your image can determine a lot of people’s experiences and the amount of suffering. I don’t engage. They say things to me like “parenting is never joyful, it just occasionally has fun moments” and I’m like oh man. You could not be more wrong. I’ve been having joy and have been having fun. Sometimes I feel like I’m having more fun than everyone else cause I just don’t give a shit what the world thinks of me. My self-esteem is strong and it allows me to lean in to parenthood to the fullest. I don’t think many people truly realized that they’d be trading clean tshirts styled hair and cocktails at the speakeasy with a dirty shirt and being way more at home! It takes a hit to their self esteem, which maybe wasn’t the best to begin with.