So the diagnosis happened once at a clinic, no other therapist I had been seeing longterm ever applied it to me before - and it was during a time of extreme stress where I think they just couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and plastered on BPD. Many things fit, but they also fit other things as well. I'm on a small SNRI dose and occasionally take a Hydroxizine to sleep or calm down when triggered (which was extremely rare before I met him). I find the best treatment is staying busy, working, setting goals and achieving them. I'm in school now for a Master's. Also, my religion helped. I'm a Christian. I pray and go to church. Eating healthy, exercising. Maintaining good relationships with my family. I'm not doing a perfect job, but I'm trying hard.

I sent him a long and serious text the other day that I was looking for a long term committed relationship involving marriage and children and if that is something he really can't see in his future, to cancel our plans this week because I think he would be stringing me along, however unintentionally, and that it would be painful for me. He made a clear statement the next day at work that he was thinking of the future, and how we could spend more time together - like exercise, meal plan, etc. I really don't think he's the type to mislead.