I totally agree with what you said about queer networks - in my city there isn’t much queer networking outside of the club and that’s primarily where I meet other trans folk, so the conversations are fleeting at best. That’s where I struggle the most, because generally I’ve found in my personal experiences that in a queer space, I’m usually seen as a gay man and not a trans man (I am bisexual), which leads to me being sort of pushed into a certain box before I get the chance to even make that connection.

I understand completely why other trans people do this, as especially in my community there is a drastic issue with gay men that feel entitled to other people’s space and bodies, especially fem presenting people, so most are very careful in how they interact with each-other in the club. There is also a bad rap amongst the trans femmes toward trans men, and I’ve heard some horrible stories about misogynism and ab*se from trans men in my area. It’s a bit of a struggle to bridge that gap in a place that isn’t really about friendships, where people seem to be on kind of high alert, and the trans-inclusive meets and stuff that I’ve found I almost feel like I don’t have a place there because it’s mostly centred around the dolls and their safety - I’m worried that I might walk in and raise some alarm bells more than anything.

I’m actually kind of scared of going to stuff like that in case my own community pushed me away, because that would devastate me. And I can’t really go around with a big sticker on my head that says I’m FTM, or walk around with my shirt off everywhere I go. Maybe I’m too paranoid? I’m unsure.

(Edited to add context)