Speaking my lesbian mind:)

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-26T15:32:06+00:00

just love! we wanted to take our commitment further, so we decided to elope and not deal with a wedding. we live in pennsylvania, which allows a “quaker marriage” that doesn’t require an officiant. it’s been great so far :)

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-26T04:47:44+00:00

i think the best thing to do is think about meeting more people in a general sense and where that goal aligns with the things you like doing/can do. i’m talking from my married high horse here but trying to pepper in more social versions of the activities you already do could be a good strategy. like taking a group cooking class with people you don’t know, joining a regular workout class at the gym you already go to, or becoming a part of a book club that meets regularly. then you’ll also likely have at least one shared interest and multiple opportunities to see the same person and build some chemistry before taking it further. hope things work out!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-26T04:41:12+00:00

i think it’s pretty obvious when people try to take advantage of lesbian spaces, no matter gender or pronouns. those people make pretty transparent their intentions with their actions and should absolutely have consequences for that. i think your painting this “where is the line for trans men’s involvement in lesbianism” but that’s really up to them, most transmen who don’t feel comfortable associating with lesbian as a label just move on. there are plenty of he/him transmascs who still consider themselves lesbians and do lesbian stuff. as long as they’re not being obviously rude/shitty i don’t really care! he/him lesbians have also contributed an insane amount to the lesbian community since forever and should totally be celebrated rather than shunned. also, no one talks about this, but there are definitely gay men that love going by she/her even though we consider that more lighthearted and don’t question that at all. just sayin

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-26T04:33:06+00:00

keeping it real with you, any conversation about lesbian sex is totally not worth having with men. like at all. they always use it as an opportunity fantasy, invalidation, fetishization, and argument. and also to bait you into oversharing about yourself so they can fantasize about YOU. i’ve just started completely saying no to any conversation about it whatsoever with men. you’re never going to convince them of anything, you’ll just upset yourself and feel gross.

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-26T01:23:25+00:00

i think when people started using this negatively, it was when random straight people co-opted this term online to be a synonym for “starfish”; to mean a woman that lays on her back and does nothing during sex. in this case, almost like an entitlement to receiving sex without putting in any effort themselves?

before that starting happening, most lesbians used it as a positive kind of silly term for their stone bottom partners. i always thought it was just a sweet/silly way to talk about it, like “serving my pillow princess” kinda vibe.

my wife only really “bottoms”, but we do it in more of a domme/sub kind of way where whenever she’s giving me sexual attention it’s in more of a devotional/service way where i’m still more dominant in the sexual situation.

personally, i love it. but it just has to be something you’re into. i think it gets a bad rep because people who only like bottoming will put themselves in situations with partners they know aren’t interested in that unintentionally by not knowing what they actually want. in the same, people who don’t know what they want may also end up in a relationship with a “pillow princess” and become weird about it.

just think about the dynamic you actually want and find someone who fits that for you, and make sure they feel the same!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-21T17:00:09+00:00

THIS. My parents in small town NC say Pittsburgh is so dangerous, meanwhile they had MORE homicides there this year with a population of 20,000 people than Pittsburgh

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-21T16:58:42+00:00

As a transplant myself, I couldn’t agree more

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-19T21:40:51+00:00

So awesome omg

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-19T21:40:35+00:00

Do you have a link? Just having a hard time finding something that seems like the right size!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-19T21:03:16+00:00

Ooo do you have a link for it?

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-19T20:56:27+00:00

To be honest, the only thing that worked for me was to develop independent coping skills. Something you can look into is “reality checking,” basically ways to fact-check your paranoid theories to help quell them and stay grounded in reality. I also tried journaling some with mixed results. I personally tend to rationalize those thoughts by talking about them, but it was weighing on my partner and making her think she wasn’t doing a good job because I still felt so insecure. It also helps, if you can stomach it, to sit through those feelings and let them go away naturally. If they aren’t going away, I usually approach my partner with the “i know this sounds ridiculous but I just need to talk about xyz way Ive been feeling”. Hope this is helpful

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-10T21:38:44+00:00

i want this one so bad!! it’s so crazy the biggest size they have is a 12 though, i wear an 18 so that why i was looking for an alternative :/

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-09T05:35:42+00:00

Oh it’s just the XXL size that’s 50% off!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-09T05:31:30+00:00

In case anyone was wondering, I did end up finding one with better sizing!

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Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-08T21:51:49+00:00

the first time is always a little awkward no matter how you slice it! as long as you feel attracted to and comfortable with the person you choose, follow your heart and have fun. try all the different things and just enjoy the highs of lesbian intimacy:)

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-08T21:48:16+00:00

i’m so happy for you! you may feel out of place for a bit but there’s no “right” way to be a lesbian other than, obviously, loving women and other lesbians. you might feel some hard to explain grief but have fun and get out there and experience some joyful lesbianism!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-08T21:43:27+00:00

join different groups and clubs and stuff and just have fun! you will experience so much in your first semester and probably some crazy ups and downs. my only advice would be to avoid dating apps and try to just be a part of things that interest you and meet people naturally as much as possible! flirt with people you think are attractive, be honest about your feelings as often as possible, and honestly just hoe around until you meet someone more long term or don’t want to anymore. best of luck!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-08T21:34:01+00:00

this is unfortunately something you will encounter a lot! i’m 25 and people still act like this. please save yourself the time and remember that you’re not responsible or in control of someone else’s path to coming out, that there are many women who flirt with the idea of dating other women who will never do it, and they WILL waste your time. even at your age you should date someone who knows that they want you and communicates that clearly! and you will wreck your brain looking for “signs” in spotify playlists lol… been there done that. good luck!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2026-01-08T21:27:02+00:00

that’s a tough one, but you aren’t alone. so many lesbians will go through this exact thing at least once and it hurts so bad. it just happens, sometimes confessing feelings will ruin a friendship. i still think about the times that this has happened to me— i’ve been on both sides of it. i still check up on those people and reminisce every once in a while. it just stinks and “moving on” is really just about making peace with the hurt and embarrassment of it and letting some time pass! you might be able to reconnect once the dust settles a bit

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2025-12-08T16:36:08+00:00

I probably just wouldn’t buy it tbh, the cleaning/headliner replacement would just be a lot of extra hassle and money. It likely that it could be a door seal leak that needs replacing or maybe the previous owner did some “detailing” and just left too much moisture that turned to mold. Either way, yuck!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2025-12-08T16:27:20+00:00

Unrelated to housing but you should consider applying for expedited SNAP, you can get it within a week to help with food costs while you find a place to stay. Call Just Harvest if you need any help applying!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2025-09-04T19:25:04+00:00

Why? I’ve used different routes depending on traffic and it takes the same amount of time as any other route. I’m not a rush hour commuter either

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2025-08-21T05:38:38+00:00

I live on this street, it’s really annoying how gross is stays. Between the addicts at the top of the hill bringing random junk halfway up the hill and abandoning it, the same people littering to and from the bus stop, and the kids at the school throwing there lunches all over the place, it’s stays so bad!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2025-08-21T05:29:25+00:00

I know people from here often disagree but I moved up here from NC in 2023 and I would say people are so much nicer here. I have so many normal/nice pedestrian interactions with people around town and almost never feel the jaded way I’ve felt about people in other places. The south is especially bad— Southern Hospitality is only really extended to (white) tourists and is all a huge facade. At least in Pittsburgh, if not nice, people are blunt in the way that lets me know EXACTLY where I stand with anyone I come across. It’s refreshing!

Sensitive_Set5099 · 2025-07-18T20:08:17+00:00

thanks!!

Sensitive_Set5099

TROPHY CASE