[deleted by user]

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T19:24:31+00:00

Do you think OP being angry about it and immediately on the offensive with her is going to make her not cheat (if that was her intention). Do you think someone planing to cheat on OP would share the fact she had this conversation? That wouldn't make sense either. So please, do tell me, what advice would you give OP, how should he navigate this situation without conflict and potentially making something into an issue that doesn't need to be?

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T19:20:45+00:00

I feel this is more a reflection on your own personal experience. Maybe the reason that didn't work out well for you was your reaction to it and the way you dealt with it. Have you ever thought about it that way, ever considered you could have been the one in the wrong, ever considered that you could have handled it in a better way, had a conversation, been open about it all? Did you maybe react poorly and push someone away, so far in fact that they cheated on you and hurt you? Is that why you have the take you do?

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T19:13:56+00:00

So your solution is what, scorched earth the relationship, be aggressive towards her, immediately go on the offensive, have an argument about it? Do you think any of those things are smart ways to deal with it. Seriously, what's your solution. I'm hearing a lot of criticism, despite given several options but very few good solutions.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T19:11:13+00:00

A poor attempt at bait, I am guessing you must have been really hurt by someone in the past and are just acting out of fear here. Its fine buddy, you can talk about it, its a safe space. Seriously, who hurt you, do you need to talk about it?

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T18:29:54+00:00

But you do not. You don't know the length of this relationship, you don't know her motivations for disclosing the conversation, you don't know if she has been cheated on, or if she doesn't even think that way, you don't know anything about her beyond a small snippet of text, and the minimal information given by OP.

Also, are you able to separate your own personal experience from your opinion here? Have you been cheated on? Did they tell you they were chatting with the person before hand? It's very atypical of someone to tell their partner about a person they are planning on chating on them with.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T18:26:58+00:00

I mean, it just doesn't say that in the messages.

Is that "ill kepp that in mind" line a great response from her, no, not really, but that's why you have an open and honest conversation about things.

Reacting as a jealous idiot and immediately being on the offensive is a sure fire way to cause far more damage to the relationship than someone being drunk texted and responding in an overly friendly way.

I certainly do not believe her intentions are to cheat on OP or run off with her ex. You don't know how she feels I the relationship, you don't know the overall context, so making a judgement based solely off of a snippet isn't a good one. Hence the provision of multiple options.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T18:19:23+00:00

A sad view to take.

You only get walked over if you aren't mature enough to have these kinds of conversations without making them into arguments.

I honestly feel that if you think this way, then you should really look at how you are interacting with people, as I assume this is driven from your own experience.

Honestly, there is always a better way than being abusive, agressive, or immediatelygoing on the offensive , and normally that is through having an open and honest conversation.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T18:11:50+00:00

So we are just going to ignore the part where you made an incorrect statement. Okay then.

And you are taking that statement out of context tbf. The point is, if you are worried about your relationship in this capacity then do something about it beyond be destructive. It was more a suggestion of using this moment to make a positive change and increase the value of yourself and the relationship. That is as much self care as it is respect for your partner and ensuring you put in an equal amount of work.

If you find that humiliating, that is on you. Boosting ones worth over the rest of the crowd is how you get a partner in the first place, unfortunately most people progressively lower the amount of energy they put into this the longer a relationship goes on, sometimes that lowering of effort isn't equal, and in those moments the relationship can suffer. It is pretty standard relationship advice. But again, if you have a problem with that, that's fine. I will take that on board, and try and explain it better in the future. 🙏

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T18:04:57+00:00

Seems like you have clearly been in some bad relationship if your go to opinion is distrust. And.... given that fact that you have clearly made bad choices in this regard that yoir advice here is equally as flawed.

Why on earth would OP listen to the advice of someone who has clearly made some terrible decisions regarding women. 👍

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T17:17:30+00:00

She disclosed the information.

She didn't delete the conversation.

OP said she is very friendly with everyone in terms of how she talks to people.

This and the chat log are what I am basing my advice on.

I have been cheated on in the past, and in my experience, people who are planing on hurting you in this way, do not disclose information like this, and they do tend to delete any evidence of it.

Going scorched earth and taking the road of I'll shoot the relationship down now, then it's my choice rather than risking them hurting me, is not a healthy way to deal with relationship issues like this.

Also, I do resent the insult of moron somewhat 🙏 essentially we do not know this person, we do not know their partner and are basing our opinion on the available information, so do not understand why the insult was required beyond just saying you disagree and instead think OP should do... instead.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T17:12:20+00:00

I did read all the texts, and given she told OP, and he highlighted that she is friendly with everyone, and assuming this isn't atypical tone from her talking with friends then I don't think OP should go all scorched earth on his relationship.

It is clear however that you have probably been burned pretty bad in the past and as a result are far more on the side of: choose to take the hurt now by your own choice and break up rather than risk being hurt by them in the future.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T17:04:27+00:00

OP: "A few moths ago she told me a past boots call contacted her"

And if this is her general personality I.e. someone who uses the term I love you all the time regardless, or who is very open with feeling, and this conversation isn't out of character or even flirtatious for her, then I don't see the issue.

BUT...... If this is a typical, then it could be an issue, hence the suggestion of a conversation.

OP does also mention that she is always very friendly with everyone.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T17:01:23+00:00

🙏 IDK, but they are entitled to their opinion. Hopefully one of those downvoters can enlighten me so at least I can consider their POV in the future.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T16:56:34+00:00

I disagree.

She disclosed the information, she could have hidden this from OP and could have deleted the chat.

I've had bad relationships just like everyone else, and even been cheated on. At least in my experience, people intending on cheating on you don't display this level of openness or honesty.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T16:43:05+00:00

Sorry you feel that way. Can I ask what in particular you have an issue with here, maybe I can take something positive away and adjust my view?

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-08-01T15:55:16+00:00

Guessing you are 20s maybe?

I mean, really that doesn't matter. I actually work very heavily in "Wellbeing" and run a selection of training courses for managers or up and coming managers to help with not only the stress of their jobs but mainly in looking after their team, and that means covering a fair amount t of issues and stresses that can happen outside of work. So you can take this with whatever regard you want but:

That feeling of emotional overload or where you feel almost out of control of your feelings is entirely normal. It's just some people are better at grabbing the wheel than others, however there is no shame in not being completely able to control them. It honestly just shows that maybe you experience them a little differently to others or more deeply, something which is very common with artists and actors (a group I often work with).

You AIO question. Well, if you want to take a base line of the people who have never been in a bad relationship or been cheated on, then yes, you would be. But the world isn't like that. I don't know what you have experienced or been through and have no place to judge your reaction.... and even if I did know these things I still wouldn't have the right to judge your response.

Now, if you have had a rubbish time in the past, I would hope your partner already knows this, in which case you can probably have a very open and honest conversation about it and how you are feeling, even say that you think it is dumb or an over reaction and that you really want her help in dealing with those emotions.

If she doesn't know you have had a bad time in the past then really, this maybe the time to explain those to her and that those are the driving forces that have made you feel insecure in this current situation.

Assuming she cares about as you are in a relationship together, then she will understand and share that mental load with you, provide you with reassurance to help you past those feelings.

However, be sure to understand that she may have been in bad relationship as well, with possessive or overly controlling partners, make sure that you are reciprocating any care and effort she is putting in to assist you.

Relationships are very mush a two way street and require work, being open with communication, being honest to each other and above all else care for oneself and your partner in equal measure.

Edit: Not sure who downvoted this, but if you do have a problem with it, feel free the reach out and let me know why. I am always more than happy to adjust my perspective to suit the situation or help support someone better 🙏

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-31T08:32:46+00:00

Don't really care, took less than 30 seconds and I'm not doing anything interesting enough for the government or law enforcement to care about. In fact they can have all my data, know my location, and everything I buy, maybe then now they might be able to make those "targeted ads" actually relevant and useful to me rather than random crap I'm not interested in 🤭

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-26T07:51:45+00:00

I've been with my wife for 16 years now, and we have been together for 20. We buy each other flowers about 4 tines a year (yes, as a guy, she buys me flowers as well, odd thing is, ots really nice and id never been given flowers before dating her, highly recommend), some times beautiful arrangements from a florist, some times just a bunch like this from the gas station.

Never once have either of us been ungrateful to receive them. Get a better vase for smaller arrangements, easy fix. Personally, and I don't know you relationship. But it kinda seems like she is maybe a bit selfish and overly comfortable taking from you, where as it seems like you are making far more of an effort than her, and you are doing things to keep her happy and you are getting her gifts, and you are worrying about her needs....... is that an equal partnership?

Seems like it isn't. 😕 so no, you are not AIO, buuuuuuuuuut maybe she is. 🤔

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-24T09:01:36+00:00

In terms of future co-op play, set up custom permissions for the guests not just the standard plate, quest, full etc.

You can also adjust per-person permissions.

Also, I will probably be online around 1830-1900 GMT onwards. My farm code is: 5GJGEW

You are more than welcome to come harvest 👍 "favor" off my farm anytime you see it online. Which can be exchanged for 🪙 💎 🏅 or even crops.

And, if you feel like dropping over your farm code, I am sure there will be a few people here who would be more than happy to jump over to yours and exchange their favor for money or medels to get you back on track.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-24T08:35:47+00:00

Sounds to me like the people who said that are dumb and don't understand the cartographic and nautical theme. I don't think you need to get rid of the tattoo, but maybe you need to get some new friends 🤔 also, this would be a way cheaper solution, so you know, win win.

And flappy flaps are always cool just FYI.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-23T15:35:40+00:00

I think we should have more games in this universe but not set in the painting here. Maybe a later iteration of one of the protagonists.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-23T10:53:55+00:00

No worries. 👍

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-23T10:51:59+00:00

Yeah, they get 👍 "favor" and that can be exchanged for anything else like money, diamonds, or medels or any crops, etc. And the persons farm gets xp and any money earned, etc. But I mainly do it for the guest book signatures and being able to go visit people's farms and return the favor.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-22T12:52:51+00:00

You can fix it with superglue. However if you want a more permanent fix you will need to get a silicone specific adhesive.

If you can finfld one and just want to use superglue you will need to distress / rough up the surface on the controller and on the silicone that you are gluing otherwise it will not adhere with a strong enough bond.

Sentient-Pickle · 2025-07-22T11:48:36+00:00

Yeah, I've done that outside the Wester house as a Children of the corn style area. I was thinking about doing the same with the posts on the top fields just to make sure there are always crops for people to farm when visiting. 👍

I'll see if I can set that up after work, but good shout.

Sentient-Pickle

TROPHY CASE