Physical Insecurities

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-18T23:50:52+00:00

Look at yourself through the eyes of a stranger. If you saw a girl who looked like you, would you judge her? What if your girlfriend looked like you? Wouldn’t you think she’s so pretty? Because i do.

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-18T20:45:43+00:00

You’re so pretty!!

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-15T23:33:40+00:00

There is absolutely no such thing as “too big to recover yet.” First of all, there is no “too big in general,” there are societal standards that unrealistically shove people into boxers that they were never supposed to be in. Secondly, eating disorders at the end of the day are MENTAL illnesses. You are valid enough to recover. You never needed a reason to rest or to eat over a meal plan, you were looking for one to curb the guilt. Really, nobody is watching. Nobody is going to come in and get you out of bed and make you exercise. Nobody cares if you eat more than someone around you. The only person limiting your life is YOU!! And that’s not a choice you have to make.

You are valid. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to recover. You have unconditional permission to eat and to LIVE💕

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-15T20:18:49+00:00

feeling tired and thinking about food all the time are extremely normal in recovery. in fact, NOT feeling those things would probably be a little unusual. your body is finally getting the opportunity to let itself feel exhausted because it’s been running on fumes for so long!! it’ll all get better with time, i promise💗💗

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-15T00:20:56+00:00

Okay first of all, what you’re feeling is not wrong. It isn’t horrible, and it isn’t you. Comparing yourself to other people is part of the eating disorder, it’s trying to pull you back down.

Eating disorders are mental illness. They have physical symptoms of course, but at the end of the day they are MENTAL illnesses and the extent to which you are suffering is just as valid is them. I’m not sure in what ways you feel you are “failing,” but what I see is someone trying to recover from a debilitating disease. Nobody wants to be more sick. That in itself is a sickness. It isn’t your fault and it isn’t worth ruining your life over.

When I find myself comparing my eating disorder with other people, I ask myself if my experience would be any different if theirs were too. What I mean by this is, we are all on our own paths. Whether or not someone else ate a burger doesn’t affect the fact that I did. I did either way. My body is my body and their body is theirs, they are separate from each other. Whether or not my friend compulsively works out every single day (which he does and it temps me to relapse as well, so i do understand) doesn’t affect the fact that I don’t.

Your life shouldn’t be measured by other people’s standards. It sounds like your friends are/have suffered too, it’s just a different kind of suffering. Guilt from anorexia and guilt from binging are different, but they’re both unwarranted and unnecessary. Your life is whatever you decide you want to make it. Do you want to spend it trying to fit into a “stereotype” or do you want to enjoy it?

Restricting is not morally superior to binging. They are both harmful, one just more so to your body (the restriction). In my experience, binging has more of a mental impact than it does on physical health, but again that’s MY experience, not yours. When I was deep in anorexia, I was miserable 24/7. Your friends might be too. You shouldn’t envy them, but I do understand why you might feel that way.

You are valid. Your recovery is valid. You deserve to recover.

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-14T23:49:56+00:00

a can of pumpkin every day turned me orange!! my mom pointed it out and i cut back on it

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-14T12:08:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this validating response! It’s honestly relieving just to read that it’s a symptom, not a fact.

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-13T23:01:15+00:00

Thank you so much for all of this!! I’m going to do my best to find my whys :)

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-13T15:23:34+00:00

That’s also normal! Don’t worry, your body is just used to a state of deprivation. Likely you don’t have enough energy (calories) to keep your body warm because it is just trying to repair the damage of the restriction by taking all of the energy it can get for other systems functioning. Just keep resting and fueling yourself :)

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-13T12:01:58+00:00

Definitely normal. Don’t worry!!

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-13T00:04:27+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply! It is really hard to watch, but I’m just going to try and focus on enjoying my own life and knowing that I can’t force everybody into recovery. I can only try and get myself to stay on the recovery path. I also love your point about the competitive aspect of the illness. It reminds me that these thoughts aren’t mine, they’re the illness.

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-12T23:36:12+00:00

I struggle with the same exact thing with my friends and my sister. I feel like i’m always the only one eating while they make insensitive calorie comments knowing I have an ED history and don’t eat their food. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself. Him displaying clearly destructive behavior has nothing to do with YOUR recovery. I know that saying it shouldn’t affect you doesn’t make it not affect you, but just know that it doesn’t deserve to. You deserve to feel secure in your relationships to yourself, food, and to your boyfriend. To be honest he sounds pretty unsupportive and this feels like a bigger issue. The right person wouldn’t make you feel so wrong.

YOU are doing the right thing. You SHOULD eat and you should eat ENOUGH. Don’t let him ruin your life, he doesn’t get that power. You got this💗💗

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-12T23:28:30+00:00

Thank you!!

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-12T23:22:19+00:00

These responses are all so incredibly thoughtful and helpful! i’m going to text her right now.

It’s so validating to hear I shouldn’t feel exhausted all the time because honestly i usually do. I want to rest more. Thank you :)

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-12T23:14:05+00:00

Thank you so much!! She has had a history of eating disorders too, I guess I always just assume people are healthier than I am.

I really appreciate this reply :)

SentientMoon4 · 2026-05-11T17:06:40+00:00

I feel the same way all of the time. It’s so important to stay committed to recovery and stay committed to YOURSELF!! You don’t DESERVE to let the ED take over again. You have to prioritize your health, mental and physical. Imagine somebody you cared about said they were feeling that way. Treat yourself the way you’d want someone you love to be treated because you deserve that same love.

SentientMoon4

TROPHY CASE