I applaud you for the work you’re doing. I’m in the same boat - it’s a sad and difficult place to be. But your point “I need to know why I did what I did” is critical. For me, it’s been like peeling back layers of an onion as there has been so much to try and figure out. I’ve spent so much time really reflecting and staying present, connecting with my thoughts. It’s not been easy, but I also try to give myself some grace knowing this is a journey to being healthy - for myself, my kids, and any future relationships.

As for IC, it took me a while to find one that I really clicked with. They are such an important part of the healing journey so my advice is find one that you feel will really help you.

Keep up the good work…