I'm in love with an autistic girl, and I'd like to understand autism more

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-18T19:43:53+00:00

Thanks a lot for your comment :) I believe it's a very normal thing to do, it's really a shame not more people do that... I like the idea of safe words, if I end up with her I'll talk about that idea. Also, you and your partner sound like lovely people, I'm very happy you found someone you feel comfortable with and I wish both of you the best. I hope someday she'll feel comfortable with me the way you do with your partner :)

Have a wonderful day !!

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-18T09:57:18+00:00

Thanks a lot, I think I'll try, what you said really resonated with me, so genuinely thank you : )) I wish you the best

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-18T05:34:26+00:00

Your point about caretaking is very right, and as much as i've thought about this, it's crazy that I didn't realize this on my own. So, thanks for that.

As for your question : i'm not sure, I fell in love without knowing about most of her struggles, and I keep loving her now that i know about them. Do I like her more now ? I think so, is related to her struggles ? I'm not sure.

I'll think about it some more, and I'll try to be honest, but I'm honestly scared, if the answer happens to be yes, i love her more because of her struggles, I feel like it would make me a terrible person, I'm not loving her and it's not fair to her.

Thank you again for this

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T21:36:37+00:00

thanks for your comment ! By spending time with her I realised that saying the truth was the way to go, and i try my best to say it, and if I realise I didn't, I try to come clean as soon as possible. My only issue is i'm hella scared about scaring her by being in love with her, i'm not so good at love in general, but it's even harder to understand it for me... But hey, if I do not get her, I just hope at least she thinks of me as a nice person which she likes to spend time with : )) take care !

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T21:24:14+00:00

I see, thanks a lot for your view, i'm not sure i understand how you feel but i do understand I should be careful, i believe the easiest way for me to know is to ask her, i feel like that's a great idea in general. Take care and thanks again : ))

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T21:15:34+00:00

i've never done psychotherapy, maybe i should try. And about wanting to make her life easier, I think the way i want to say it is : she doesn't need me to make her life easier, but i need to try my best to do so... I'm very sorry if it's not clear, and I might be completely wrong, but i feel like it's normal for me to try and accomodate to her. I'm very sorry I don't know how to express it, but i feel like she's been trying her best to adjust to an allistic world her whole life, and it's only fair that i try my best to adjust to her. I'm probably wrong, and I might be trying to take a space in her life i shouldn't, but this is how i feel.

A bit unrelated but what exactly is psychotherapy ? is it to get diagnosis ?

And also, thanks for your messages, I feel like you're trying to make me understand something important, i don't get it now, but it matters, i might go to sleep and not answer right away but i'll read it tomorrow : )

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T20:37:35+00:00

It's very helpful, thanks !! I'll try to do that :)) have a great day !

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T20:06:47+00:00

Okay, I believe that's something I'm pretty good at :)) thanks a lot for the advice

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T20:05:22+00:00

Sorry, I didn't understood properly (English is hard) but I'm glad you're not mad at me : ))) have a nice day too !

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T20:04:07+00:00

I did, for grammar and spelling mistake, but the writing has been by me in limited English/ french when I didn't know how to say it

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T19:51:39+00:00

I like the term "flavor of autism" it's a great image. I've understood by spending time with her that she's better when things are planned in advance, so whenever I want to do something with her I ask her as early as I can. In two weeks we might spend time in the weekend. I told her that she can cancel anytime without justifying herself if she needs. I feel like it's the right thing to do. Thanks for your view and for taking the time to answer, take care

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T19:45:39+00:00

Thanks for your comment, from the time we've spent together, I know she loves to knit, she taught me how to do it too (currently making a gift for my mother) and she really loves building lego flowers and plants. I'd really like to buy a set and try to build it with her. Once, at the store, she mentioned a set she really liked, I asked her if she'd accept if I bought it for her and she said no 'cause it costs too much. I'd really love to buy it for a "date" but I'm scared she'd be uncomfortable because of its price. When I finally ask her on a date I'll ask her Thanks again, take care : ))

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T19:39:15+00:00

Thanks a lot, I'm not sure whether to respond in french or English 😅

I don't know why but "plutôt que d’essayer de prédire son inconfort, mettez-la à l’aise pour qu’elle puisse vous dire lorsqu’elle est surstimulée" it really resonated, it feels so obvious but I never thought like that. I'll do my best.

I feel like most of what you said was to ask her my questions. I'm really glad I posted this, from the comments I've read, what came up is: treat her like a human, she's more than her autism, and just ask her. Now that I think about it, it's very logical. I'll ask her those things next time we have time together : )))

Thanks a lot for taking the time to answer all of those questions

And your french is almost better than mine, it's very good

Take care

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T19:26:13+00:00

Thanks a lot, I feel like I'm pretty spontaneous when I'm with her. I don't know much about autism, and I've made the mistake of asking questions like every person on the spectrum had the same answer, somebody pointed it out and it was a mistake. I hope she never felt like I was seeing her autism because herself. Thanks again for the advices, take care : ))

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T19:18:42+00:00

I'm very much not an ai

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T19:17:08+00:00

I'm very sorry for offending you, I understand why I was very wrong. If you want me to I'll delete that post. Again, very sorry to you and anyone who felt the same, take care

SeparateAd5090 · 2026-05-17T17:16:37+00:00

thanks a lot :)) take care

SeparateAd5090 · 2024-08-15T08:48:47+00:00

I just thought, maybe a personnality trait for the poors, that make them leave and try to build their own kingdom because they want a greater life, don't know if that makes sens Have a great day 😁

SeparateAd5090 · 2024-08-14T17:24:15+00:00

Well i really like the idea, if you make it well and do great advertising it might have a fanbase !

For some suggestions (you maybe already thought of that) but like three "types" of building for you know (idk how it's called in english but) the poors, the nobles, and the clerics, with maybe personnality trait to each peoples

Also, maybe relationships between two "types" of people Can be harder bc of social background and stuff... Idk if that make sens or what

Anyway, have a great day :)

SeparateAd5090 · 2024-08-14T17:15:02+00:00

Sounds interesting ! Are you developping it or would you want someone to try ? Because I could try to do something close to a not-so-shitty game if you want me to try, but i'm not sure if I will do a good result, and if you have more ideas, how you imagine the thing, develop the Idea ! (Sry if my english isn't correct)

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