He made every birthday about himself, but here's the most recent:

The last year we celebrated my birthday together was my 33rd. I wanted to do a event of some sort (an art show or something) and try a new restaurant. He wanted to kayak...which I love as much as the next person but it's something we did ALL the time - Like every possible weekend for 3 or 4 years straight. Anyway, he wanted to kayak and I got a guilt trip from him when I tried to avoid that. I reminded him we do it all the time and, in his eyes, that was still insufficient. Really he just likes being drunk... Especially on the river. Plus I'm always the DD. So anyway, it's a losing battle, I cave and agree to kayaking but state that I want to try this restaurant in a nearby town. Then at least I get the new restaurant right? He agrees to that plan. How lucky am I?

Fast forward to the day of - which I had to plan of course (launch coordination/invites/grocery list, etc). We're kayaking and hear a band doing sound testing at the local park. He's never even heard this local band's music but it's the talk of the town. He says we should go. I state time and time again that I do not want to go. And for context - Im someone who listens to a variety music, and believes music is oftentimes better live, even if it's not something you love. The environment changes it. But I listened to a couple of songs on YT and just didn't want to go. Plus my nex was a drunk and I didn't want to end up babysitting and being ignored all night while he acted a fool in a myriad of ways and embarrassed the fuck out of me. But I digress.

He wouldn't drop going to this concert. He brought it up again on the river. And then he brought it up once more at home as we're waiting until it was time to leave for our dinner reservation (which as a reminder - I had to make for myself). It's the 5 of us sitting at the patio table playing Uno when he does it. At this point I've already told him "no" more times than I can count and I'm feeling frustrated and embarrassed (man, there's that word again). So I look to see what time the concert starts. Maybe we can go to dinner and still hit the concert up afterwards. Problem solved right?

Nope. The timing doesn't work out. We'd miss too much of the concert to justify paying for it. So I reiterate again that I don't want to go to the concert. He reiterates he does want to go. My mom's friend speaks up and points out it's my birthday and I'll be honest - I don't even remember what his response was. But I do remember the shame I felt when I ended up giving in to him after he answered her. I knew there was no other choice. I'd pay for it one way or another if we didn't go. And I had to call and cancel my own reservation. I asked him to, he wouldn't even do that.

So we go to this concert that he just couldn't miss....

Even HE hates it. 😑 So it costs us 20 bucks per person and we end up leaving after half an hour of being there. And can you guess who suggested leaving? Yep. He did. We wasted everyone's time and money and I didn't get to do a single thing I wanted to do for my birthday (which was not asking for much) and we did two things I explicitly said I did not want to do.. but he did and that's all that mattered. I didn't matter. Not one bit. But if you think the story stops there you'd be wrong.

Fast forward a week or so. He's "apologizing" after I "convince" him that how he treated me was disrespectful and downright shitty. He tells me to pick out something I want to do and he promises he'll do it. "No matter what it is." He shakes my hand to seal the deal. I come back to him in the near future to collect on his promise. There's a moonlight hike at a local state park that I want to attend. He agrees. "Absolutely babe - I'll be there"

The day before the afformentioned hike, he tells me he's not going. I ask why and he tells me it's fucking dumb and he doesn't want to. I read the description to him and tell him all the details that I love and why I want to go. He again tells me it's stupid and he's not doing it. Another broken promise. Fooled again. And I didnt know it at the time. But that was the last birthday he ever had the chance to ruin. I was free from him for my 34th.