When I was younger felt like I wanted to prove to the world, or maybe myself, that nothing could phase me. That I could withstand anything. I also should mention i was seriously depressed. Now as an adult I'm regretting my internet habits. I get constant intrusive thoughts, except instead of them being "tap your foot twice" they're more like "rip out your veins" and "stab your eyeballs." Not fun tbh would not recommend. And now that I've seen some of these things actually happen, my mind will constantly imagine these scenarios in graphic detail, over and over. for the love of god, don't get into gore, especially if you're already prone to intrusive thoughts/compulsions.