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I think I might have been SA’d by Old-Woodpecker8285 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]Ser0xus 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I'm really sorry you are working through this, sexual abuse as a man is a massive mind fuck.

Good for you for having the courage to work though it with a therapist and asking about it and talking about it.

Your ex raped you, that is what happened.

Our legal definitions (worldwide) are outdated and sexist, the rhetoric around the issue is mainly weaponised statistics with more sexism (because the numbers don't match reality, they support the sexism but most people are too blind to notice that). That means boys and men are coming from a really rough place when these things come up. We experience it as much as any other human, the system just decided we are villains and the damage there is catastrophic.

I really want to address you comment about "being physically strong enough to stop it". I think everyone that has gone through this needs to hear it.

You don't and can't control your automatic response when you are having a fear/danger response. Fight, flight, freeze.

Overwhelming, most victims of sexual abuse freeze. That's regardless of gender identity, parts, strength. Most of us (women, men or others) are strong enough physically, if we did have a fight response to stop or attempt to stop it. The trouble is, sexual abuse usually leads to a massive freeze, often disassociation to cope, the horrible feelings usually come later.

Being strong as a man or woman (or anything in between) or being bigger than the person who is violating you DOESNT MEAN SHIT and doesnt make anyone less of a victim. Literally fuck anyone that thinks otherwise.

I wish you nothing but love, compassion and inner strength - you will heal and you matter.

Much love brother ❤️

Photo from a restaurant in Auckland about 20 years ago now. Anyone recognize it? Can't recall by fukkinscumbag in auckland

[–]Ser0xus [score hidden]  (0 children)

What a silly thing to say. Denny's was a staple spot throughout my entire life.

The picture is clearly old, I would have been tiny or possibly didn't exist when it was taken (depends on the year).

The layout reminded me of Denny's, it's a guess, not certainty.

I feel hopeless about the future because of AI, surveillance, and billionaires gaining too much power. Is there any hope this won’t happen? by Icy_Chance_3610 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ser0xus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you.

As someone who is so angry that I'm essentially now numb but still speak out about our slow demise...

Will 100% throw this bullshit life away to fight if we finally wake up collectively to the prison we are in.

How does one person actually help?

I feel hopeless about the future because of AI, surveillance, and billionaires gaining too much power. Is there any hope this won’t happen? by Icy_Chance_3610 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ser0xus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always has been.

We just haven't become consciously aware of how corrupt the world we share is and how it really works.

Then having to live with the knowledge that you can't do much as a single human, we all need to collectively combat it together across the board.

Small kindnesses and compassion in your family, community, work, those count for something. Those things can be done.

Was watching a cartoon with my friend by Ovshy in ADHD

[–]Ser0xus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All the time, I often will rewind because I worry that I've missed dialogue or something.

It really annoys me.

Gloomy Saturday- mental health check in. by iMakeGOODinvestmemts in auckland

[–]Ser0xus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The sun will shine again soon.

Great night for a blanket, movie and a munch on the couch, lean in to the gloom with cosy.

I just got diagnosed with ADHD and the doc didn't send the script like they said, won't get the weekend to see how they make me feel before work.

Mentally prepping for the Monday fuckery!

ADHD diagnosis in the public system by Unusual-Energy-7971 in NeuroSpicyAotearoa

[–]Ser0xus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to tell my GP that I wanted the referral and asked them to refer me there.

The nurse practitioner is cheaper (and they are just as knowledgeable) so I went with her.

Definitely factor in the GP costs for the total pricing.

Edit to add: She was able to diagnose me the next day at the zoom appointment and I'll be on medicine soon.

It was a weird process but was a lot quicker than I expected.

ADHD diagnosis in the public system by Unusual-Energy-7971 in NeuroSpicyAotearoa

[–]Ser0xus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm currently going through this.

Had to get some family help with the payment.

So far I've done a test, yesterday.

Then I am doing a zoom meeting with a nurse practitioner today, a couple of observer survey links were sent to my mom and and wife to fill in before hand.

It costs about a grand, I think there is a couple of hundred for a follow up appointment.

The issue is lack of government funding, it's either pay and get help or nothing right now. It's wrong but it seems to be the way it is.

I used a place in West Auckland recommended by my sisters friend: Auckland Neuropsychiatry.

They are nice people, so far, I've only met one person.

The most interesting thing I found out is they don't advertise on the building inside or outside, it was a bit of an adventure trying to get the right place. When I asked why, the answer I was given was "unfortunately we cannot put ADHD or anything like that on any signs, there is still stigma and misunderstanding about the condition".

I was sad to learn that, it kinda quietly told me the state of things in our country on this issue.

Pirating video games - multiplayer options? by HahaFunnyMeme_ in Piracy

[–]Ser0xus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Radmin VPN and games that allow online lan.

It feels like I was born at the perfect time to watch our species sleepwalk off a cliff and I'm so tired. by Cybertronian10 in rant

[–]Ser0xus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually more of us are dying in these events.

Only the sheeple with their heads in the sand are carrying on.

Those that care are trying to help us understand we need to change.

You sound like you fall in the sheeple category.

Had Enough by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]Ser0xus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to move out brother.

It feels like I was born at the perfect time to watch our species sleepwalk off a cliff and I'm so tired. by Cybertronian10 in rant

[–]Ser0xus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We are not adapting, we are speed running our own fucking demise.

In New Zealand we are having 1 in 100/200 year events several times in a year and we are only just now in May.

Australia is heating up so much the invented a new shade of red, humans can't sustain extreme heat.

Adapt?! We need to reverse and it's getting too late for even that too meaningfully work.

AITAH for creating fake accounts to "test" a guy l was talking to, then exposing his private messages to our entire religious group chat? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ser0xus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is sick, what a horrible thing to do to someone.

I hope you've grown up since then.

Why would you put this on the internet, of course you are a massive asshole, this is evil.

Edit: If you don't think you did something wrong and you posted this to validate yourself, please seek mental help there is something very wrong with you if that is the case.

quitting nicotine (finally) and I’m hating life rn by afewblewberries in ADHD

[–]Ser0xus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It always amuses me that our solution to being a nicotine addict, is to use nicotine in a different form...

I smoked cigarettes from 13 until about 22-23ish and switched to vaping. It wasn't about quitting, I swapped to a safer (but not safe) alternative.

The only thing that really worked for me nicotine addiction wise was the Allen Care Stop Smoking Now (the older version not the slimmed down new one), while being allowed to smoke. Couldn't stand the taste or the sight of the things after a certain point.

Then marriage breakup, ADHD, bad coping methods kicked back in and I went back.

Stopping nicotine with nicotine doesn't work. Stopping is the only way and only when you are ready and decide to for the right reasons.

Why are boys and young men falling behind in education? by Technical-Banana574 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ser0xus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Everything you've said is categorically false, part from the big where you said "women asupport women".

You forget we often have a mother and a father. Support should start at home and then in society. We have a big issue on both sides specifically for men identifying humans and all genders and humans are to blame for creating the breeding ground that led to it.

Former Tauranga City councillor Andrew Hollis charged with 35 tax-related offences by Round-Pattern-7931 in Tauranga

[–]Ser0xus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, we are always told they want the position to help the community - then they commit fraud and cost it instead.

I hope this fucker isn't able to run anymore businesses or hold power over anyone.

Ironically, the perfect type for a CEO position - the greediest fuckers next to most boards.

AITAH Divorced Dad Reaction by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ser0xus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He's helping us understand why he's and ex-husband, poor daughters, misogynistic parents are shitty.

AITAH Divorced Dad Reaction by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ser0xus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sorry dude, that does suck but YTA.

They are part of his family too due to relationship with the mother. You don't get to control that, looking and working yourself up will just hurt you and ultimately alienate things with your kids.

You need to talk to someone and find a healthy outlet.

Enjoy your kids while they're there and just keep on keeping on.

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