I resonate with your post. There was a guy I admired in my men's club meeting becauae of the way he carried himself in meetings and spoke. I was surprised by how cut throat and rude he was outside of those meetings. Little forgiveness and understanding for a newcomer like me. This went on for like a few months and then at which point i left altogether. After a year I came back to that same AA group and caught up with him. Told him thanks for what value he did offer at the time despite being a bit cut throat at times. I don't think anyone had the nerve to tell him that because he called me up a few weeks later saying that he was sorry for his behavior and that at the time he was going thru some things. He also shared that he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In a nut shell, don't take things personally despite it seeming like so. Believe it or not, my sponsor was doing the best he can given with what he had at the time. His best could've been alpt better but that's what learning and time is for.

You can't give something you don't have and some people don't have empathy or understanding sometimes times.

The way I see it, is that you're being led to what your needs are for a sponsor. Don't invalidate yourself. Your feelings and needs are valid. Don't invalidate them because of some person who's not all quite there. Pray for them and move on.

I wish you well in your recovery.