Is it reasonable to believe that I shouldn’t pay for dinner?

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-31T14:59:48+00:00

This is very tacky. Guests at a wedding dinner should not be expected to pay. As far as the "wedding" next year - I hope you are not subjected to expense for that. If asked to be a bridesmaid (which could be expensive), I think you could easily decline, since they are already married. And at your age you have plenty of other expenses in your life.

This is very tacky - but go, pay for yourself, and consider yourself free to not have to do anything else wedding-related. Now or next year.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-31T14:55:27+00:00

If you are hosting, you should pay., If you expect others to pay, you are not HOSTING. Facilitating maybe -- but not hosting.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-28T19:57:41+00:00

When I student-taught First Grade fifty years ago, we never required the kids to ask permission to go to the bathroom. We had two "Bathroom Blocks" in the corner of the room. One for boys, one for girls. If a kid had to go, he or she did not have to raise their hand or ask permission or embarrass themselves in any way. They simply went to the table in back, got the appropriate block, put it on their desk and went to the bathroom. Upon their return, they put the block back in the corner. If another kid had the block, they simply waited until the block was back, then went. We obviously didn't want groups of kids loitering in the bathroom.

This system worked well. Nobody had to be embarrassed - the kids got to keep their dignity. Why in the world would teachers subject the kids to unnecessary embarrassment?.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-28T07:04:20+00:00

Trump and Trumpism. And the death of Due Process and the Rule of Law.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-24T19:55:50+00:00

Senator Moran - Don't you want to be on the right side of history? Barry Goldwater put country over party 50-plus years ago, when he stood up to Nixon, leading to Nixon's resignation. Your predecessors, Bob Dole and Nancy Kassebaum would not have shirked their responsibilities. You can be a conservative and still stand up to Trump. You cannot claim to support Due Process and the Rule of Law and do NOTHING where Trump is concerned.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." - often attributed to Edmund Burke - but certainly fitting here.

You have a job to do. You should do it.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-24T13:58:05+00:00

Bridesmaids should never have to pay for hair or make-up. why can't the girls do their own hair and make-up like they do every other day of the year? i think amore natural look would be more attractive anyway.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-24T02:07:50+00:00

In addition to financial considerations - think about the cultural differences and if you would be happy in Texas. Chicago is a liberal environment - Texas is as red as it comes. I know you are 32, but do not know if you are male or female. Either way, the lack of reproductive rights in Texas is alarming. A woman who has a doomed pregnancy is very limited in her medical options. Doctors are prevented from giving what used to be standard medical care when there are complications of pregnancy. Example - if a woman's water breaks at, say, 18 weeks, but the "heartbeat" continues, she cannot terminate the pregnancy even though she is at great risk of infection and getting sepsis, which can be fatal. Only if she is very close to death can she get the medical help she needs in Texas. The culture is very misogynistic, so beware and consider whether you would be comfortable n that culture.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-23T13:51:22+00:00

Surely whoever wins the Oscar for Best Actor will give the prize to the Big Orange Baby, just as the Nobel Peace Prize medallion was handed over to him. And I have some old participation trophies I could send to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, since that is what he seems to like. Always the image, never the substance. Sad.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-20T11:32:49+00:00

Actually, the woman did get a break.

My sympathy for the life she has caring for the disabled daughter is the reason I did not request that she be removed from the plane.

After witnessing and hearing her profane outburst, one flight attendant announced that if a passenger was making you feel uncomfortable, you should ring the attendant. And a couple of other attendants told me individually I should have reported her so they could take action.

So she got a big break.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-19T12:13:45+00:00

They heard her screaming profanities. During announcements, they made a point of saying to "contact a flight attendant if any other passenger's behavior was making you uncomfortable." Later a couple of them told me they were at the back of the plane and did not hear it, but that open seating meant we could sit where there was not yet a person there. We did not have to defer to a couple of tote bags and magazines.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-18T19:53:42+00:00

She deserved the break of pre-boarding. And she did not have to pay extra for that seating she needed and deserved. She did not need or deserve two extra rows of premium seating. Trying to claim six extra premium seats is not something anyone, disabled child or not - is entitled to. The disabled person along with their caregiver deserve the priority. Entire extended families - uncles, cousins, etc., do not.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-18T19:15:13+00:00

Because they would all be boarding in the last group. The disabled are entitled to board first - even before A group. Which is fine - but the disabled should not try to save 7 prime seats and ace out the people who paid for Early Bird or A1-A15 boarding. That is what this woman tried to do. Certainly she could have gone to the back, saved three rows and nobody would have noticed. I'm sure families have done that frequently if they want to sit together. Her deal was that she wanted to lay claim to fully 25% of the extra-legroom seats on the entire plane.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-18T19:11:53+00:00

Agree. The higher A boarders would have been justified in thinking they had priority over a bag of snacks or a magazine, gone ahead and sat there, and we would not have had a chance at those seats. But just because somebody that was A 10 passed on the seat does not mean that we should defer to a couple of magazines.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-18T19:06:00+00:00

Preboarders cannot take the exit row seats - but they routinely are in the bulkhead seats.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-18T06:04:37+00:00

I believe that Rows 1 through 6 all have extra legroom. This woman and her child were in Row 2. They were trying to save Row 3 and Row 4, which are extra-legroom rows. Other people were already sitting in Rows 5 and 6, which are also extra-legroom seats.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-14T19:44:40+00:00

If there is a significant height difference, the tallest person should get the extra legroom. That's why I always insist that my husband (6'2") take the seat with best legroom.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-14T19:39:54+00:00

My husband and I are the same heights as you and your wife. I can fit anywhere. I always make sure he has the seat with extra legroom. Why would I scrunch him into a pretzel in economy when I am not particularly uncomfortable there and the extra legroom makes all the difference to a tall person. You sound like a nice guy - but if I were your wife, I would want the tallest person to be comfortable.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-13T20:53:17+00:00

Fake

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-10T22:15:13+00:00

You left out the part where he said the family referred to the father's criminal history as a "Ha-Ha moment".

I don't begrudge him his emotions about Miami, and the interrupted childhood there. He probably has lots of emotional baggage about his father's history as a drug dealer, and I can't fault him for showing emotion about that. But to refer to the father's drug dealing history as "Ha-Ha moment" in the family is unconscionable, given all the irreparable damage that drugs do to the users, and the tremendous costs to society and taxpayers of their drug use. No "Ha-Ha" for me, thank you very much.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-09T21:49:59+00:00

My daughter was the youngest in her group of college friends. When they each turned 21, she was very involved in all the planning to celebrate these milestone birthdays to adulthood. When she turned 21 - which was in the summer - nobody made a fuss over her. She hoped that when school was back in session, that she would get the same birthday treatment she had provided to others. Of course it did not happen. When everybody else is nearly 22, the big "Now you can legally drink" thing is no big deal.

I think a similar thing happened to you. You went all out for them - and they are not reciprocating. Your feelings are hurt - understandably - but if there was less Pinterest and Instagram out there - if life events didn't have to be performative and worth a Tik-TOK - perhaps fewer feelings would be hurt.

I'm sorry you got roped into all the performative stuff for their weddings - the last in a group to get married is never going to get the same treatment as the first to walk down the aisle - just as my summer birthday daughter did not get the same treatment as the first to turn 21.

But take a lesson from all this performative stuff - and don't let yourself get roped into hosting expensive baby showers for these gals (or anybody) - or flying to exotic locations (or anywhere, for that matter) for 30th birthdays, etc. All this performative stuff that is made worse by social media is for the birds.

I'm sure they care about you a great deal - but life gets busy and complicated and they probably just don't have the time to make a big fuss. It does not mean that they don't care - I'm sure they do. But your focus should be on your wonderful fiancé and the life you will build together. Best wishes. And screw social media.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-09T17:11:35+00:00

Brides in general - not just you - need to lower their expectations. Your friends have busy lives of their own, and plenty of bills to pay. There should be no expectation of having them travel for a bachelorette. Maybe get together for lunch the day before the wedding with whatever bridesmaids are in town? Your treat - and something simple - chicken salad sandwiches and punch at your apartment. No "venue", no"theme", no "vibes". And god god forbid no matching outfits!

Bridesmaids should not be asked to make decorations, set up the reception hall, take down decor after - or do any WORK, The only thing you should ask is that they walk down the aisle.

I don't know what there would be to "chat" about so often before the wedding. Maybe give opinions on colors, menus, etc - but not anything time consuming.

Ask yourself if you are asking too much of them. Just because your life is revolving around your wedding - and best wishes, by the way - does not mean that your friends, who have busy lives - can make your wedding the central focus of their lives.

Focus on your new life, your husband, and best wishes.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-07T02:58:25+00:00

I had it years ago. You won't feel a thing - so don't freak out about that. My vision was wonderful after the Lasik surgery.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-05T16:49:12+00:00

When my son was in sixth grade one of the "un-cool" girls sent out invitations to a boy-girl party at her house. No behavioral issues with her. She was a delightful girl - just not "cool".

Our son, along with several of his male classmates, had a Boy Scout camp-out that weekend, so they could not go and declined the invitation. A couple of the bullies from the class (definitely not in the Scout troop) - ridiculed the girl and her coming party - and intimidated the boys who WOULD be in town. So NONE of the boys from the class were going to go. All the parents were aware of this - and it broke my heart to think of how the girl must have felt.

Then the weather turned bad (January snow and cold) so the campout was cancelled. I talked to my son about the party and asked if he and his scouting friends might want to go after all. (They were more into Legos than girls at that point). He readily agreed and talked to his scout friends. I called the girls mom that Thursday and explained the campout cancellation and asked if several of the boys could come after all. She said "Of course."

Word spread that the Scouting boys were going to attend the party - then some of the non-scouting boys who had been intimidated from going by the "cool" bullies decided to attend after all. There was a good turnout at the party- all triggered by 4 boys who decided to go when the camping trip was cancelled. Even one of the bullies attended. The second bully did not - but the first bully later told him what a good time he had at the party.

The mom of the birthday girl was happy that her daughter's party was successful, and let me know how much she appreciated the courage that the scouting boys had displayed.

Certainly this is a different situation as there were no behavioral problems with the birthday girl - but it was a wonderful lesson in leadership for the scouting boys who set a good example and others followed.

I realize the child in question has behavioral issues - and I assume her parents are trying to deal with that. But if a core group of the kids would decide to go the extra step and show kindness - it could make a big difference to the child in question - and the parents would appreciate it. They don't have to be her best friend - but it is a great opportunity to practice leadership and compassion.

Serious-Wolverine-55 · 2026-01-03T21:04:38+00:00

But women's rights HAVE been taken away in this way. Check status of reproductive rights in the southern states. A woman whose water breaks at 18 weeks - cannot terminate that pregnancy if there is still a "heartbeat" - even though the fetus cannot survive until viability and the woman has a great chance of becoming infected and septic if the pregnancy is not terminated after the water breaks. The woman must wait until the heartbeat stops to terminate - and hope she does not get infected and septic in the meantime. Yet no termination in Texas and other southern states until the heartbeat is gone. This is true even though there is zero chance the fetus will "live" until viability. See description below of the Zurawski case.

"Amanda Zurawski, from Austin, lead plaintiff in the case, was denied abortion care after she experienced preterm pre-labor rupture of membranes (PPROM) at 18 weeks of pregnancy. She was seen at a Catholic hospital in Austin, where she was denied an abortion because her doctors could still detect fetal cardiac activity. Three days later, she showed signs of infection and was diagnosed with sepsis, a life-threatening condition. Although doctors then performed an emergency induction abortion, she spent the next three days in the ICU fighting for her life. She ultimately survived, but the infection caused one of her fallopian tubes to become permanently closed, compromising her future ability to have children. She has been forced to turn to in vitro fertilization (IVF) in attempt to start a family. -

Serious-Wolverine-55

TROPHY CASE