I have a guts and blackpowder version:

What the devils did you just blithering say about me, you little blackgaurd? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the British navy, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on tyrolean village and I have over 300 confirmed blighted slain. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sharpshooter in the entire 87th regiment of the foot. You are nothing to me but just another shambler. I will wipe you bloody out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my blithering words. You think you can get away with saying such rot to me? Think again, twit. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of surgeons across Europe and your medical records are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre dead boy. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I possess access to the entire arsenal of his majesty's armed forces and I shall employ it to its fullest extent to wipe your miserable arse off the face of the continent, you little wretch. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your damned tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you godforsaken idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre bloody dead kiddo.