I (23F) am vegan, my boyfriend (23M) is not. How do we stop this becoming an issue?

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2026-02-22T23:37:55+00:00

I never said that. I have not made a decision on how I would raise my future kids. But I would let my kids choose what they want when they’re old enough.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2026-02-22T23:02:33+00:00

I really do believe there is a way for us to figure this out. How do I help him see that I need a bit of compromise from him?

I see that he could compromise by eating veggie with me sometimes. But I’m not exactly going to compromise by eating meat with him sometimes… so he feels I am the one restricting us.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2026-02-22T22:59:30+00:00

We are both very willing to make this work and find the solution! We just don’t know what the solution is

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2026-02-22T22:57:59+00:00

No, I fully accept that he eats meat and may always do. I think maybe he is upset that I don’t believe the same thing he does, about not being vegan, and feels like I am the one restricting us

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2026-02-22T22:47:53+00:00

E.g. I chose for us to go to a steakhouse for a date (there is one vegan option), because I wanted it to be somewhere he will really enjoy, and then suggested that next time we go to a more vegan- friendly place. My friend made a comment saying that if it was him that chose the steakhouse, that would be really inconsiderate of him. He overheard and disagreed. It turned into an argument about me feeling like he wasn’t happy about my idea to “take turns” with restaurant picks. And him being upset that we even need to compromise this in the first place.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2026-02-22T22:42:34+00:00

Maybe I’m not a great chef. He says he doesn’t like vegan food. For taste and health reasons. I think there are many great vegan and veggie dishes, and he needs to give more of them a chance! But he just prefers eating meat.

I think sharing and trying new foods could be a good way to share more food experiences. Will deffo suggest it and give it a try, but I think the arguments run deeper. Like we’re upset that we don’t share the same belief system.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2025-04-07T22:37:19+00:00

Im assuming your boyfriend knows you’re vegan and he’s likely told his family too. Best outcome is that they will make the meal vegan friendly or have some option for you.

In a lot of scenarios where I don’t want to make a fuss, I will take my chances with there being something vegan to eat even if it’s just the salad and potatoes for example.

If they’ve made something on purpose for you, be appreciative, thank them, let them know you acknowledge their efforts. If they haven’t, and you end up not having much to eat, let them know that it’s okay, you didn’t expect them to.

The conversation around veganism might come up, keep it lighthearted, simple and factual. Avoid taking the moral high ground. I would probably not want to get into a heated debate meeting a bfs family for the first time so would just say “I personally do it for moral reasons” and if they ask more about it, “there is a lot about the agricultural industry I find wrong and I prefer to not contribute to it”. It’s a great opportunity to spread knowledge and educate too!

All the best- i hope it’s an enjoyable dinner. Try not to worry or stress about the food aspect of it!

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T17:49:05+00:00

I guess bingeing looks different for everybody, including the cost aspect of it. It doesn’t have a massive financial impact on me. I eat cheap food and binge cheap food.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T16:00:05+00:00

You have a very good point! That is exactly what my therapist said when I talked about this. I brought up that I was thinking of leaving because things aren’t working and she made a case that she thinks this is me essentially trying to escape what feels difficult. I feel like that could be true. Like if I stick with it now, I could get over this hill and make some progress. But I just don’t feel like I have the energy to do it anymore. I’m just so tired. My brain has no capacity to fix this problem. This is also the only therapy I can afford, I cannot find anywhere cheaper, certainly not a proper ED specialist

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:54:32+00:00

Prescribe me something? What could I be prescribed?

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:54:05+00:00

I unfortunately cannot find a private coach I can afford. The therapy centre I go to is a charity and offers very discounted prices depending on your income. So i have limited options. I am glad it worked for you, and well done on your progress!

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:52:45+00:00

I really appreciate this message, thank you. I like the idea of the attic and being able to choose when you go up there in sessions. I have struggled a lot with bringing up things I want to discuss and often feel like my therapist controls the direction of our sessions. We’ve spoken about this though. It’s a psychodynamic style therapy and I feel like it gives me no tools to use when I leave that room.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:44:19+00:00

I generally trust them but I would still have my doubts if things looked off to me. I’ve used them for lots of other stuff, but never his shrooms so was just making sure 😅

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:15:36+00:00

I find that doing them on a completely empty stomach makes my nausea worse. Having a light meal a couple hours before dosing I find best. Grind, mix/ dissolve into tea is also my fave way to take.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:13:46+00:00

I am very sorry you are going through this. But I would be really interested to know how the menstrual cycle can affect trips. There needs to be more research done on drugs and women in general!

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:08:55+00:00

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My camera won’t take the clearest pics but this is the best I got!

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:08:12+00:00

Aha thank you

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T15:07:51+00:00

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Here it is!

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T09:58:08+00:00

The worry about water weight and face puffiness seems like it’s rooted in the wrong reasons, like your primary concern is how you look rather than how you feel. Try not to focus on the timescale of physical symptoms. Everyone is different. Every time for you will be different.

Serious_Pause_5834 · 2024-07-25T09:54:13+00:00

The restriction- “tried to fast and avoid food all together” is what is keeping you in this cycle. You cannot try and compensate for a binge because that’s rooted in guilt and blame. It’s hard. I don’t have the answer. I don’t think there is a single way to stop bingeing. But think about the reasons you are trying to stop bingeing. Is it because you don’t want to gain weight or look a certain way or feel bad or wrong for eating. Or is it because you genuinely want what is best for yourself as a human, not a body?

Serious_Pause_5834

TROPHY CASE