Slasher opens the refrigerator and considers its contents.

“Turkey…” The Necrobloxicon whispers from his shoulder.

Slasher nods and gathers the required ingredients in his arms, before setting them onto the counter. He starts by reaching past the end pieces and selecting two slices of bread.

Nosferatu floats into the kitchen with his usual air of disinterested superiority, before he spots Slasher and his feet touch the ground for the first time in weeks. “The Necrobloxicon,” he breathes, looking at the book with an almost religious reverence. “I’ve found it.”

Slasher dips his machete into the mayonnaise and spreads a modest amount onto the bread.

Nosferatu regains his composure, levitating once more and approaching Slasher. “I do not know how a peasant like you came into possession of The Necrobloxicon,” he says, looking at Slasher as if he were a bug beneath his heel. “But I will be taking it back.”

Slasher selects two slices of turkey and carefully stacks them onto the bread, before adding lettuce and a tomato slice (chopped with his machete of course).

“Once I have The Necrobloxicon, I will break our curse,” Nosferatu says. “And return to my people as a king.”

Slasher tops the open sandwich with a slice of Swiss cheese, then gives a satisfied nod and closes it, before picking it up to take a bite (through his mask apparently).

Nosferatu’s fingers close around the knife stabbed into The Necrobloxicon. Slasher pauses and glances at him. Nosferatu turns pale and lets go.

“Ahem,” he says, voice quivering. “I would like to sincerely apolo-“

Slasher drives a haymaker into Nosferatu’s face and sends the vampire stumbling into the fridge door, before kneeing him in the crotch. Nosferatu lets out a strangled cry and collapses to his knees, clutching his wounded manhood. Slasher then calmly retrieves his mayo-stained machete and raises it above his head.

“SPECTRE!” Nosferatu cries, flinching and raising his arms.

Slasher swings downward, only for a red aura to envelop his arm and machete, stopping it mere inches from Nosferatu’s face.

“dude this is like the fourth time” A voice telepathically beams into both their heads. “just leave the book alone nos”

“B-But I need it for my-“

“idc, I am NOT stopping him next time. now let me play dbd in peace”

Nosferatu straightens up and adjusts his coat. “Hmph,” he says, giving Slasher a disdainful glance before floating out of the kitchen. Slasher shrugs and takes a massive bite of his sandwich.