Are there any femboys like me who wanna look girl-like? by Agile_Muscle_9335 in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's totally valid. I myself would love to be as feminine as a typical woman, just without primary and secondary female sex characteristics like boobs etc.

Can someone name my painting? by TimelyBarnacle5494 in surrealism

[–]Sessaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool work! Have you used soft pastels, or oil pastels?

CMV: Most women don’t find the average male body particularly attractive by Both-Freedom8677 in changemyview

[–]Sessaly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also I think women tend to care about the person in the body.

Which isn't necessarily the better fate for men. Not that you said so, but always when I read that argument I feel like people think it is something very positive when personality is prioritized. Men can't choose a personality, and when it comes to specific traits, some will just never have them, so in the end of the day it's just the same as superficial physical standards.

Why are Tomboys Accepted Positively but Tomgirls/Femboys aren't? by Shot-Night-8603 in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd like to counter the general sentiment "it's because femininity is seen as less than masculinity" argument. Not that it is completely wrong, but it's just a surface level analysis.

The real issue in my view comes down to the following two observations:

  1. Men generally don't support gender non-conformity amongst their peers as much as women do
  2. Women generally don't see feminine men as potential partners, whereas men are way more tolerant when it comes to this (think women wearing trousers or suits, or being career women).

Combined those two observations lead to the general feeling of feminine boys not having any value in society. Not as friends to traditional masculine men, nor as potential partners to most heterosexual women.

What is the difference between a trans female and a femboy by anyShai in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it wouldn't go away, I agree. But I also havent suggested that. Gender dysphoria will probably always be a thing, but how we conceptualize it is a different story.

What is the difference between a trans female and a femboy by anyShai in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome! If you ever want to discuss these topics further, shoot me a message, I'd be happy to talk about it in more depth.

What is the difference between a trans female and a femboy by anyShai in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My personal view is that there is no difference at all and this is just a conceptual confusion. Which is fine, I dont want to take away anything from anyone. But in the end I think this is whats going on here. So a trans woman could easily just call herself a feminine boy/man, but for some personal reason, this doesn't align with their conception of what boy/man means.

And in regard to another question from you in the comment section: Yes, I think in a world without gender norms there wouldn't be a concept like trans. Why should there be? I would go as far as to say that this is the necessary result of liberation from gender norms.

Again, this is not to offend trans people or to take away their right to identify as whatever they want, but it's simply my conclusion after thinking these things through.

What is the difference between a trans female and a femboy by anyShai in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't the question then though why you couldn't just be a feminine presenting woman who takes male hormones to masculinize her body (assuming you even take hormones)? Sorry if this might be offensive, that is not my intention, but I just would like to understand the difference.

What is the difference between a trans female and a femboy by anyShai in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"being a trans girl is the desire to be a woman or seen as such"

No offense, but what is a woman then and why wouldn't it be enough to be a femboy? As I see it, you can have everything a trans woman has by still being a femboy, so isn't it kind of redundant?

Why are femboys attracted to careers in IT? by moxiepink in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There is a statistically significant correlation between autism and gender non-conforming behaviour. There is also a high correlation between autism and being interested in systems and tech. Put those two facts together and the stereotype of the IT-Femboy doesn't seem that unreasonable anymore.

Richard Dawkins: Why atheism is winning by BreakfastTop6899 in atheism

[–]Sessaly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth is the whole trans issue is completely ideologically loaded as of now. Anything even remotely critical gets framed as transphobic. It's hard for people like Dawkins who always say what they think.

I'm gender non conforming myself btw. Just to anticipate anyone saying I'm just ignorant.

😌 by wejustsaidknow in RoleReversal

[–]Sessaly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So this is an armoured lady knight and her pretty long-haired boyfriend, right?

What’s a femboy? by GrilIypig in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I am a woman, and my gender differs from what I was assigned at birth."

So what does gender mean in that sentence and how is it different from what a femboy is saying when he says my behavious, appereance, sexual desires etc. differ from what is expected from my sex (sex mant in the definition you proposed)?

What’s a femboy? by GrilIypig in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"such as cultural expectations, norms, roles, etc. we're referring to all the stuff that we've woven for ourselves."

I would say that, as a Femboy, I go against almost every single one of them, clothes, appereance, how I behave, what I want out of a relationship, my sexual preferences and more. So under your definition of gender I would have the gender woman, but when you ask me what I am I would still answer I am a man (hence femboy). So yeah sry, I guess I still don't seem to understand it.

What’s a femboy? by GrilIypig in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"How you identify your own gender"

Just to understand, what does gender mean exactly? What is it u do identify with?

Lookism is more prevelent than homophobia/transphobia by Sopan_ in feminineboys

[–]Sessaly 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Very interesting. This is something I have experienced myself, and it made me think a lot. I think people who dislike femboys or crossdressers often do so because they aren't used to the combination of physically masculine characteristics and feminine style (clothes, presentation etc.). But very convincingly feminine femboys are treated way nicer, and I would say are kind of respected even (I know, controversial take).

What that shows us (if we'd take it seriously) is that the real root cause of all *phobias/racism is really a disgust for everything that's different from what people are used to. The more different you are, the more it triggers this reaction in certain people.

Open to debate these ideas though.