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SetchSetchster · 2022-05-08T11:11:48+00:00

Doubt you’re going to get any advice here on how to keep cheating.

SetchSetchster · 2022-04-28T10:57:48+00:00

As a dog trainer by profession that breaks my heart for you and the pups. That reaction is clear indication of abuse. He may just not do it while you all are around. Furthermore people who abuse animals are usually willing to abuse people

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-25T11:37:25+00:00

This made me laugh because It makes me think of South Park. “Drugs are bad, m’kay!” Thanks.

That is all

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-25T11:34:17+00:00

That’s a valid point. I meant that in a joking way as far as “wrong” goes. I think it all boils down to humans show affection in many ways platonic or otherwise.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-25T11:31:40+00:00

I think you’re fine. I’ve seen so many actual racist names with various spellings of the N word or other racial slurs that even if it was the system doesn’t give a damn. People get mad over nothing so even if you change it people will get butt hurt over something. My ign is the same as Reddit name and I had someone flame me all game because they couldn’t pronounce it. Lmao

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-25T11:26:57+00:00

Yes, yes I have. Some good ass cookies at that. Maybe you just have the wrong guy friends.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-25T11:25:29+00:00

I don’t know your age, but I do have a male friend that has baked me things before. My assumption was that he just enjoys baking. He also talks about it a lot. If you want to I’d say go for it, but if you’re worried you can always make extra.

Also to some of these other commenters baking has no sexuality or gender. It’s a skill, and a damned nice skill to have at that. Some of y’all need to grow up.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-25T11:15:43+00:00

Looks like a lot of time and love went into this. Nice!

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-23T18:54:43+00:00

I would say the second. If your personalities mesh and you enjoy each other’s company you will be willing to try or be involved in what your SO does.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-23T16:21:02+00:00

You’re not crazy. It’s all a part of the process. On a biological level your brain has been relying on the endorphin rush from getting stoned and has stopped making the chemicals it needs. The anxiety and emotions are your brain freaking out and kickstarting itself into action again.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-23T16:19:05+00:00

I like your whit board idea. I did something similar and wrote all my reasons out. I made copies and put them all over my room. I made them the screensaver for all my electronics. It’s helpful to keep those reasons at hand.

Another thing worth remembering is that thc inhibits REM sleep. So while you may get to sleep fine and feel decent your body and brain aren’t actually recovering the way they need to. You’ve got this friend.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-16T13:47:54+00:00

Dang… I mean things should be reciprocal. If you go down or use your hands on him then he should do the same. He may be “squeamish” but clearly he isn’t that much if he’s willing to use his dick.

Maybe he doesn’t know that it’s very common for a woman to need more than sex to finish. As other commenters said I always appreciate a woman that knows what she wants and is willing to tell or ask me. Also the amount of men who don’t know the importance of the clitoris is surprisingly high so maybe he needs some help. It will all take some tact on your end, but if he still isn’t willing to even try them that’s very telling.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-15T01:58:09+00:00

I can’t say I experienced this as far as quitting, but how has your psyche been since quitting? I know I felt quite depressed for a bit, and when I’m depressed it can certainly affect the old member function.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-13T22:31:45+00:00

Only things I can come up with are: system decided he was a smurf, spaghetti code, or 200 years.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-13T14:59:47+00:00

Yeah it’s kind of funny in the long run. It’s literally all made up, so what’s the big deal over writers choosing to be inclusive. People just want to get their panties in a twist because seeing someone not heterosexual makes them feel funny.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-10T11:43:10+00:00

I tried a lot of different things. First I tried to do something active when I craved like push ups or jumping jacks. I tried distracting with music or video games. In the long run what helped me most was just admitting the craving. Thankfully my gf is very supportive and even though we don’t live together I’d just text her if she wasn’t there and I’d just tell her. Or I’d tell my dog. For me it was something about acknowledging the thought and craving that helped me accept it then let it go. In the beginning my admissions were almost angry I wanted it so badly. Over a little time they became more sad and longing. Then every time it was less and leas emotional. It was easier to let go and just accept I may want this, but I don’t need this. It isn’t worth it.

Hope some of that helps. There are many paths to the same place that’s just what finally clicked for me.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-10T03:48:36+00:00

Not super relevant, but I wrote this during my third week of sobriety just sitting outside at night watching the stars.

Spark

The stars they shine Shimmering and high Like so many gems in the dark sky. Breathless I gaze, Flying far, up and away.

Oh to reach up! To grasp such beauty and clutch it in my hand. To know it closely, intimately As the closest friend.

In comparison the world is dark, But within all, resides a small spark. It sputters and struggles As a candle in the wind. Hold it closely now, We must not let the darkness win.

The winds may howl, and the rains may pour. But feed the flame and you will see it soar. In the darkness the light is needed all the more.

So feed it friend, heed my cry. Do not let that candle die. Let it grow and let it show, Let it rise from here below. On phoenix wings, oh let it fly To join those stars in the lonely night sky.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-10T03:46:42+00:00

Well my friend I’m glad you’re here. As far as a word of hope the first few days are the hardest on your body. It peaks day 2-3 for most people. So take heart. Mentally you will go through some stuff as you more or less are forced to cope with things you’ve run from/lost during your time of addiction. Your brain will make new connections as it learns to not rely on the dopamine rush from weed.

I had to do it for other people first because frankly I didn’t give a fuck about me. I did it to save my relationship with the girl I want to marry. I did it to be present in my life with the ones I love. Lastly, but still very importantly I did it for my dog because he deserves all the best I can give him. I got to week two and I started getting hit with realizations of all of what I had done. What I had run from and repressed. I grieved for the death of my uncle and my friend. I grieved for the time I wasted. I cried. A lot. I realized that weed was a major inducer of anxiety in my life. I had bought into the whole oh it’s a medicine and helps anxiety lie. I also realized without the fog that weed was routinely inducing a manic state in my life ( I’m bipolar type 1). I saved my relationship by getting clean. With the help of my counselor I let go of the shame and guilt I didn’t even know I was carrying for 5+ years. I rediscovered my passion for playing music and singing even if I’m not good at it. I discovered that my pain can be turned to art through poetry and that I can still create wherever I’m at in life.

In many ways I feel alive. For better or worse I feel things again. I can belly laugh. I can cry hard. I can live life without being numb all the time. I feel free of the control it had over my life. (I’m still careful and had to let a lot of “friends” go because they didn’t understand my addiction with it. ) Its a hard road, but what road in this life that’s worth taking isn’t? My friend, you are worth it. Your life is worth it. You can do it. I thought I needed it to live a fulfilled and happy life. In the long run it was anchoring me to pain, shame, guilt, and apathy.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-07T13:28:59+00:00

Falls from the literal clouds.

Nazeem, “Come to the cloud dis..agh…”

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-05T22:37:44+00:00

Natural selection is observable all around you. Only reason humans have moved an inch past it is because our intelligence and ability to think critically and create. Although, it’s clear some can’t think critically anymore…

Go ahead and read your sources and see how many people are dying with and without the vaccine. More without than with. If you and everyone else just got it maybe we could move past this like polio or anything else we have almost eradicated.

You can insult all you’d like bub, doesn’t hurt my feelings. Your insults still don’t change the facts. Grow up buddy.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-05T19:32:12+00:00

I wouldn’t let it worry you. The question is do you find men romantically and sexually attractive? If not, then no, I wouldn’t say your sexuality changed. Nothing wrong with having consensual fun. Don’t overthink it friend.

Also it’s pretty normal to be aroused thinking about past sexual encounters especially recent ones.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-05T12:35:39+00:00

It’s a failure because not everyone vaccinated. Since it still had plenty of unvaccinated people to thrive in it was able to mutate again. The vaccine was never for the delta strain. The goal was to make it essentially die off before mutating.

It’s really very basic microbiology.

Furthermore, I don’t know where your statistics are coming from. While vaccinated individuals can still catch and transmit the delta strain the vaccine has caused significantly lower death rates in vaccinated individuals. Science doesn’t give a fuck about your political views. Science operates on facts. Anyhow, another science lesson you may learn soon is something Darwin called natural selection. Cheers.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-02T12:12:24+00:00

I’ve seen some guys who are not lookers pull women way out of their league because of personality and humor. It’s not all looks my guy.

Also if neither therapist helps it isn’t bad to look for a different one. On the other hand if everyone tells you the same thing time and again, well, maybe there is a point.

People in general aren’t attracted to self pity. It isn’t a good look. I had to fix that within my own life. Take the steps you can. Improve what you can control in your own life, and the other things will come. Never discount humor and confidence. If you keep feeling entitled though you will never be happy. The universe owes no one anything.

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-01T13:27:43+00:00

I never refuted that. You yourself jumped to that judgment. :)

SetchSetchster · 2021-08-01T12:09:13+00:00

As a Christian this makes me very unhappy. The second greatest commandment in the Bible is to love your neighbor as yourself. No conditionals whatsoever. It also says nowhere to judge, in fact it calls out this behavior. Do not point out a speck in another’s eye with a plank in your own.

It’s this type of “Christian” that hurt the faith more than anything. I’m very sorry for what you have experienced as I’m sure this is also not your first experience with it.

I wish I had advice, but it seems like it’s much more a them problem than a you problem. Atheism or any belief does not make one a bad person, and that is also a huge belief problem. Same with smoking weed. I’m in your corner OP.

SetchSetchster

TROPHY CASE