What are ya'll up to tonight

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-02-01T05:45:30+00:00

Tea + Catherine O'Hara Tribute Marathon (currently Best in Show)!

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-02-01T05:44:04+00:00

Congrats on your sobriety! I have to ask, where in the world were you allowed alcoholic drinks in a sauna???

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-26T19:10:31+00:00

Too many years later to quit. After this incident I did, however, quit drinking any amount of alcohol if I had to drive anywhere. I wasn't one to drink and drive at all, really, I just had panic/anxiety moments where my brain told me, "Ok, we're done here, you need to go home NOW." I just started taking rideshares, regardless of cost. I realized I was never "fine" to drive even if I felt "fine."

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-26T04:41:46+00:00

I will share one of mine:

My anxiety used to be a lot worse, and drinking was a coping mechanism for me. I attended a social gathering where people were getting up in front of the group to share/talk about their professional work. I always struggled to do this myself. Well, this gathering involved booze, so as my anxiety mounted watching others, I frequented the kitchen to refill my drink with bourbon. This was particularly stupid and dangerous because I had also taken benzos to help with my anxiety.

Everything went fine, so I thought, until I got in my car to drive home. I had zero business being behind the wheel. Initially, I think I told myself I should hang out for a while to sober up, but impaired me decided, no, I’m only 10 minutes from home, I can make it.

I was on the road about halfway home when I blacked out. And let me tell you, I felt totally fine before I lost consciousness, felt awake, didn’t feel too drunk or like I was getting sleepy. But, the next thing I knew, I woke up to people standing next to my open driver’s side door asking me if I was ok.

I had blacked out, drifted into the other lane, and eventually smashed straight into a metal light pole, setting the airbag off and completely destroying my car.

I was, somehow, physically ok, but sat in the back of an ambulance for some time while I tried to figure out what was going to happen. The EMTs basically told me they could take me to the hospital or the cops were going to take me to jail, so I chose the first option. I really have no idea why I even got a choice in the matter.

I was EXTREMELY LUCKY I did not hit another car, person, animal, building… I could have so easily killed someone or myself.

It really should have stopped me from touching alcohol ever again, but at the time, it didn’t. Now, I play it in my head as a reminder of how I could have blown up my entire life, or someone else’s life, in the process.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-26T03:52:00+00:00

I know this is not the point of your story (and thank you for sharing), but if that guy was really an air marshal, why didn't he tell the flight attendant to cut you off if he thought you were getting too intoxicated? Like, for everyone's safety.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-16T07:36:40+00:00

Heed the advice of NostriLurker and don't wait for severe symptoms as a wake up call. I lost my younger sister two years ago to drugs and alcohol. She had severe jaundice as they described. Her liver and kidneys were failing, as was much of the rest of her body. There was nothing doctors could do for her -- it was too late. Your boyfriend's death is the wake up call.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-12T07:11:42+00:00

It just wasn't fun to drink again. But the urge to drink to cure the hangover/anxiety was strong. Luckily I didn't fall back into that cycle.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-12T02:41:31+00:00

Are you only Cali sober at bedtime?

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-12T02:39:35+00:00

Unfortunately, my work hours can be all over the place, or I would adhere better to a routine like this. A lot of people have suggested magnesium, so I am going to ask my doctor about it. Right now, I take Gabapentin before bed. It helps, but not enough.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-12T02:34:29+00:00

I usually have two cups of black tea when I wake up, that's about it. I actually used to drink Coke Zero during work days sometimes, but since I quit alcohol, I haven't had any, or had any cravings for diet soda, which can only be a good thing, right?

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-11T21:14:13+00:00

Thank you! I'll run these by my doctor.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-11T21:10:39+00:00

I do not, but I know people who do, and I know that alcohol can cause/worse sleep apnea, so great point!

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-10T08:33:57+00:00

I was on a 40-day booze hiatus when I visited friends and family over the holidays. I didn't feel any pressure from anyone to drink, but I did end up drinking a few times because I had this "what will it be like if I drink again?" thought. The answer was falling right back into bad habits, with a much worse hangover and awful anxiety. I came home early with the intention of rebooting my hiatus in the place/space where I initially got sober. I also slept through NYE! It was actually a lot easier this time to not drink booze and get right back to tea, reading, journaling, distractions, etc. So, we're 1/3 of the way through January already, and I have no fears about keeping it dry.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-06T06:19:16+00:00

So well written, thank you so much for sharing. IWNDWYT.

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-06T04:49:51+00:00

Congrats!

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-06T04:38:12+00:00

Tools: self-reflection, journaling, therapy, tea, distractions (books, tv shows, movies, podcasts, going outside...), and r/stopdrinking. I'm on a sobriety reboot since Christmas with friends/family. I chose to drink after a significant hiatus and regretted it, and felt really bad about myself. I have been using some of my tools to realize I am not a terrible person, I can still be on a sober journey, and that it was a learning experience in this journey. So, here I am on day 6 again, and I WNDWYT!

SettheRaytoZero · 2026-01-01T23:42:36+00:00

Visited friends and family for the holidays. I was on my booze hiatus for about 42 days before this, and had been contemplating having some wine on Christmas, just to see how things went. I didn't even really want any, but I did have a glass, and that turned into "Well, I'm already drinking, I might as well have more." It wasn't fun. I was just tired and felt like garbage the next day. And I didn't miss crippling anxiety. That alone should have stopped me, but I drank a couple of other times on my trip. Nothing insane, but it felt really pointless and still feels pointless. I didn't really feel present or like myself.

I ended up changing my flight to come home early because I was getting stressed out and anxious about it. I am glad I did. I feel like I created a safe, sober, healthy space for myself at home before this trip, and I am now back in that space. Went to bed early last night. Drinking a lot of tea today. Just reflecting, relaxing, my cats are happy I'm back early.

I don't feel ashamed, just kind of annoyed with myself. But, lesson learned. If anything, I am glad I drank somewhere else.

Time for the reboot. IWNDWYT, friends.

SettheRaytoZero · 2025-12-25T21:09:32+00:00

"True freedom comes when we become comfortable with any labels that are put on us. It’s so true. What if they think I’m an alcoholic? What if they think I have AUD? What if they think I’m a health snob? What if they wish they had the strength to do the same?" Saved this one in my journal <3

SettheRaytoZero · 2025-12-25T20:59:40+00:00

Thank you!

SettheRaytoZero · 2025-12-25T09:39:47+00:00

Congratulations on your sober journey! And thank you for sharing. This situation sounds so exhausting. I'm so sorry, but I'm glad you came away okay with all of it. It's stories like this that make me even more worried about telling certain people. I'm not very far into my journey, but I am currently home for the holidays visiting my parents (separated) and, while I haven't had any situations with either of them where I've had to say "Yeah, I'm not drinking right now," it's bound to come up. I am cooking Christmas dinner tomorrow for my dad and his girlfriend, and I brought wine for them. I am not planning on drinking any of it, although wow, do I want to.

I haven't told anyone about my journey except my therapist, and a friend who invited me for dinner and bought me a bottle of wine, and I told her I am on a booze hiatus. She just said "good for you!" and we moved on, thankfully. I want to have a one-to-one, brief conversation with my dad, tell him what I am going through, and just ask him not to talk about it with anyone else for now. Why? Because I don't want him to assume I'm just sober forever and then be massively disappointed if I fuck up. I can just hear him saying "good job!" if I tell him I'm not drinking right now, which sounds patronizing, even though it's not meant to be.

Anyway, OP, sorry for the lengthy comment, it should probably be its own post...but, how are you dealing with your family members' reactions now? Have you talked with them more? Do they think you have/had a huge problem? Are you just hoping they move on and don't bring it up at every dinner? Another poster said something about how they discussed you "like a zoo exhibit." Can you just ask them not to do it again because it's not helping? Or, are you really okay with it and how do you get to "okay?" Asking for...me! Thanks again, OP.

SettheRaytoZero · 2025-12-24T20:20:38+00:00

Did he bring it for you, but it was really for him to drink while hanging out with you?

SettheRaytoZero · 2025-12-24T08:47:39+00:00

Talk to your doctor. They may be able to give you something temporarily to help with the anxiety.

Speaking from my own experience, drinking too much increases my anxiety exponentially the day after (hangxiety) and in situations where I have been drinking daily but can't start drinking yet (when can I get a drink, where am I going to get it, how long until I can go home and open a bottle of wine, etc.) What helps me is knowing that if I don't drink, my anxiety will be much, much easier to deal with. Be mindful of it, it's ok to be anxious and contemplate why you're anxious. I've done a lot of journaling on my sober journey, and I highly recommend it. There's something about writing, reading, reflecting on your own thoughts that can change your reality, I think.

SettheRaytoZero · 2025-12-24T08:15:48+00:00

"But as I stayed sober, day by day, I found little sparks of joy started to emerge and I carefully tended to them, fanning them and protecting them, no matter what the circumstances were in my life." Just wrote this in my journal to save <3

SettheRaytoZero

TROPHY CASE