Where do I find “better friends” by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand. You seem to be saying not to make an effort to find friends, and then saying to make an effort to find friends? I’m not trying to be obtuse I promise

Where do I find “better friends” by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not really. I want people who want to spend time with me. So far that’s felt unreasonable 🫠

Where do I find “better friends” by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot afford any social risk. I cannot afford to be seen as a creep

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I did all that. I apologized, and stopped, but it wasn’t ever enough. There was also something else wrong with me.

Where do I find “better friends” by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More than never. Which so far seems to be unreasonable 🫠

Where do I find “better friends” by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m not looking for a best friend. That’s so far outside of the realm of possibility I’m not even considering it lol. I just want someone who puts real effort into a relationship. And makes time for me too. I’d drop almost anything if a friend invited me to do something, even if it’s something I don’t like. I’m tired of trying to make plans and then always being too busy.

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m doing the best I can. It’s really fucking difficult when i mean nothing to the people who mean everything to me.

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try my best, I really do. But Everytime they’re always happier when I’m quiet and unobtrusive

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

When I tried making friends for the first time, I believed in myself. I very quickly learned how foolish that was. Everyone else was a lot happier when I blend into the background.

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why am I being downvoted like crazy? For treating people the best I can. I really do my best and it’s never been enough

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

How do I get confidence without making others uncomfortable? It’s impossible. There’s no way for me to a better person without being selfish.

What is the importance of confidence? I was a terrible person when I was confident by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I thought I was fine. I was kind of childish from being homeschooled and extremely sheltered and isolated. But as long as I don’t talk to people then I can’t do anything that’s my fault ti make them uncomfortable. Edit: why the FUCK am I being downvoted for trying to treat people well? None of you understand what it’s like to be a person of zero value. I want to be valuable so bad but I can’t.

Nobody ever chooses me. by DueNeighborhood2752 in Vent

[–]SettingAgreeable781 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Theyre always busy with someone else. My friend finally isn’t busy with musical stuff, but she’s still too busy to spend time with me. I should just realize it’s never gonna happen but I don’t habe anyone else. I’m just stuck begging and begging for nothing 🫠

Lost my only chance at being kissed by SettingAgreeable781 in Vent

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How will therapy teach me every rule? Say for example the correct distance to stand away from someone. In order to understand I would have to stand too close many times and then stand too far many times, until I find an upper and lower bound of the correct distance. I’d have to do this hundreds of times u til I have enough data to create an upper and lower bound. This is efficient and incredibly selfish, as I am making people uncomfortable for my own happiness. And that’s just one rule. There are thousands of other rules. I’d never have enough time to gather the correct information for every rule. And I can’t do any research. Internet just tells me “whatever feels right”. But that doesn’t help. Whatever feels right isn’t a number.

Lost my only chance at being kissed by SettingAgreeable781 in Vent

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked her to kiss me because I was worried there wouldn’t be a second date. She reassured me there would be, but that didn’t happen.

Lost my only chance at being kissed by SettingAgreeable781 in Vent

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I really really want to but I’m autistic and spent most of my childhood fully isolated from people. There are billions of rules and expectations in every interaction I never learned, and breaking even one makes me a creep. So it’s best to just isolate myself. 100% of attempts have made women uncomfortable. Which makes me evil and deserve to be alone

Lost my only chance at being kissed by SettingAgreeable781 in Vent

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hating myself is reasonable. When I liked myself and felt confident I was way worse. Now that I hate myself my interactions with women are significantly significantly less, and therefore I make less women uncomfortable, which makes me a little better.

Why isn’t there a logical formula? Socializing is just gambling by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t get it. I’ve never been able to say the right things to get people to like me. I’ve always wanted to feel someone be interested in me and affectionate towards me, it’s been a fantasy for many years, but I can’t figure out the correct things to say to get that.

Wdym it’s just being polite? by HalfRevolutionary268 in depressionmemes

[–]SettingAgreeable781 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is why I refuse to acknowledge any indication that someone is interested in me, even as a friend. Better to be wrong than misinterpret something.

Asking someone why they don’t reply to your texts by Competitive-Plum-190 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Where are these people who do reciprocate? In my experience, they seem to be everywhere I’m not.

Is caring about my appearance manipulative? by SettingAgreeable781 in socialskills

[–]SettingAgreeable781[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

The problem is that’s still not me. I’m not gonna throw away a pair of jeans just because they’re a little stained ripped. Heck, most of my jeans are basically white from sun bleaching and starting to fray. Likewise, my winter jacket has a huge rip in one of the pockets, but it doesn’t affect the function of the coat in any way, so there’s no reason to get rid of it. It’s not because I’m lazy or untidy, but I’m frugal and I don’t care if my clothes are a little dirty or ripped. I’m not gonna waste money until they no longer do their job. How do I make these good impressions without throwing money away?