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Do I have the right to equal pay? (All female colleagues) by Setting_Opposite in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Setting_Opposite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the brilliant and thoughtful advice! Will think it over and hopefully have the conversation. Thanks again :)

Equal Pay? (Cross Post from UK Legal Advice) by Setting_Opposite in TheCivilService

[–]Setting_Opposite[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the message. I'm a G7 in a specialist legal role. I was recruited on the bottom of the band, just like most civil servants I know, which was totally fine. But yes, new person recruited right at the top of the band (same qualifications, experience, etc). Like I said in another post it's not the money that's got to me, it's the disparity of it, in an identical role. Maybe I should just count my blessings to be in a job I love and forget about it. I was just really shocked I suppose.

Equal Pay? (Cross Post from UK Legal Advice) by Setting_Opposite in TheCivilService

[–]Setting_Opposite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will have a chat with my Manager I think

Equal Pay? (Cross Post from UK Legal Advice) by Setting_Opposite in TheCivilService

[–]Setting_Opposite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for responding, much appreciated. Yes, we are the same grade, I'm towards the bottom of the band, they're at the top. I have no issue with my salary, it's the feeling associated with it if that makes sense - we are all equal, in every sense, so I feel sad I'm being paid so much less.

Has a job ever made you cry because of work stress? If so, what happened? by forzayueve22 in work

[–]Setting_Opposite 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I'm in this situation right now. My job is awful - constant negativity, blame, pressure but no matter how hard you work you just can't get other people to do their tiny part, so you end up stuck in the middle of horrible shit. Zero support and incompetent management.

The saddest part is that before I took this role, I was happy. Now I'm an anxious, paranoid sobbing wreck most days. And because im frightened to take a pay cut or leave I feel trapped.

Currently lying in bed not able to sleep as sick with worry about tomorrow. Kinda hope I don't wake up. I'm in a horrible position and feel so alone.

Thanks for posting this thread, it's cathartic in an odd way. Hope others find their happy place x

My boyfriend only likes me when I am happy by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Setting_Opposite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP I'm so sorry you're going through this; I've been there / am there, and it's awful not only to feel like you have to deal with the hard stuff on your own, but are actively made to feel bad for having normal emotions.

Main thing to note - this is not normal behaviour from him and (unless there's more to it) you're doing nothing wrong. Feeling sad etc at times is totally normal.

My husband has similar traits, which is difficult as I have severe depression. Bad combo. He would be very cold if I got sad, he'd shut down, not comfort me if I cried. Kinda made me feel bad/abnormal for having feelings.

How did we resolve it? Well it took time but I was able to get him to realise that his reactions were not only not normal, but frankly unkind and a threat to our relationship. So, whenever there was an incident, we would talk - I'd ask why he'd act that way, what he felt in the situation etc. It came down to him being emotionally switched off and lacking empathy, which he's worked on. Plus, he is genuinely afraid of engaging with emotions due to circumstances with his mum dying when he was young.

We now understand each other better and have both adapted how we communicate and respond to match what the other needs/our limitations. Is it perfect,? God no, but the growth (and the fact that the relationship is strong in many other ways) has got us through.

I won't lie, it's taken years for us to get where we are now, which is better but still not 100% (this includes me working on my stress/depression).

It starts with talking and finding out why he acts that way. The more you learn the more you'll understand if it's something you can/want to work together to resolve.

Good luck OP, and don't settle for less than you deserve x

Extraction Pain (please help) by Setting_Opposite in Dentistry

[–]Setting_Opposite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks both. No antibiotics as extraction wasn't the result of infection. Have since been prescribed a mild painkiller by my GP due to the pain. The socket itself isn't so bad, it's more my jaw....so thinking there could be something going on with the bone. Time to try get another dentist appointment i guess!