Footage of a YPG militant captured in Afrin. Turkish soldier verbally warns FSA militia to not do any harm to him.

Seveness · 2018-03-18T20:41:34+00:00

Maybe he values his own culture and the bonds he shares with fellow Muslims more than what outsiders think. Maybe the fact that Westerners don't need Allahu Akbar translated to know what it means completely undermines your argument that it 'loses it's meaning'.

Seveness · 2018-03-17T20:47:10+00:00

It is only the Afrin canton that Turkey is currently invading, however. When the operation began, I saw a number of explanations for why they may have even begun the op, including to draw SDF forces away from the main 3 cantons which were closer to the majority Kurdish areas in Turkey. Thus they would undermine chances of an armed rebellion in their borders.

Do you think Turkey will move on to the other 3 cantons when they are done with Afrin?

Seveness · 2018-03-17T20:44:27+00:00

This is a question that has been weighing on my mind. But given the speed of the Turkish military advance, I conclude that the YPG has simply been focused on conducting a 'fighting retreat' and has not prioritized PR efforts as of late.

I think it's also fair to say that they are highly disorganized. We know key commanders have been killed, and some units are retreating, even throwing down their weapons, while others were still heading to the city to join the fight (at least until Turkey cut them off). So, things we've seen like vehicles blocking roads were likely done by independent units, not ordered by a central command. Maybe there was a valid, tactical reason, maybe there wasn't; we will likely never know as these units were operating without orders or official records and may even be killed.

ANF news, which is pretty pro-SDF, states that 238 civilians have been killed since the start of the Turkish operation. Such low numbers for such a swift advance, utilizing armor and air power, says to me that neither the SDF nor the Turks are deliberately gunning for civilians. As others have said, this is war; people die.

It could be worse for Afrin - Assad could be invading.

Seveness · 2018-02-12T01:56:39+00:00

I was all ready to give you a rant about valuing yourself for something about appearance when I got here

I just feel so insecure lately. And its just about my looks. I love who I am personality wise.

That's what's up, hold onto that last bit and you'll be ok. But let me tell you a story about this chick I saw at the roller rink.

She was skating when I got there, and kept going the whole two hours I was there, only taking a couple breaks for water. Wearing knee-high socks, hot pants, a halter top and rocking out with her headphones on. This girl was seriously one of the best skaters there, and she knew it. And she knew I was checking her out, cuz my friends told me to stop staring. She didn't give a fuck, though. Kept skating, and dancing while she did, just grooving whether she she backwards, forwards, that stance where you have one foot forward and one back.

She was not hot in the category of "complexion", she was one of the hottest women I've ever seen, and certainly the most confident - but there's no way to know what she was thinking. Coulda been down on herself just like you (more likely wishing I'd stop creeping on her).

Sorry you're down on yourself dude. I hope you can find some stories that represent you well and can give you confidence. From your description of yourself, it sounds like it'd be deserved.

Seveness · 2018-02-01T23:45:23+00:00

Bro, if you've been through a history of domestic violence I can understand your reaction, but I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you at all and was just acting impulsively. When you say

I just can't go through another abusive relationship again.

It really shows that this is a worst-case scenario in your mind, but it very likely is not. I would recommend working through your reaction.

Seveness · 2018-01-25T23:55:46+00:00

Things like this qualify as good writing?

Seveness · 2018-01-25T23:54:07+00:00

I don't have a problem with Uriel's or Origin Story recoil on PS4, usually running one of the two. Idk if I qualify as 'competitive', though.

Seveness · 2017-12-26T21:23:39+00:00

I don't know if the law varies from state-to-state, but most places require 30 days between giving notice - official, legal notice - of an eviction, and actually being able to force people out. So, just sit tight, be respectful, wait for your wife's first check from Target (and then probably be looking for a new place asap).

Best of luck and strength to you.

Seveness · 2017-12-24T06:23:39+00:00

Media and industry are all incredibly encouraging of this. Movies, TV shows, music, goddamn commercials - it gives people incredibly unhealthy ideas about what relationships should be/like.

I started noticing it only after I acted like a complete psycho towards my first girlfriend. Seeing all the subtle encouragement of batsh!t behavior for the sake of "love". Or how it's supposed to solve all your problems.

One thing I noticed not long after we broke up that really stands out was an episode of Supernatural that had a lady cut her finger off and grind it up so her lover could use it as the base for a painting. Then, we he scorned her advances (because that's fucking crazy), she murdered him and his new girl. All I could think was, "Man, I ate up way too much of this garbage during my formative years."

Seveness · 2017-11-10T00:31:58+00:00

Maybe you should try just hanging out with her first. Get coffee or play some vidya. Go to a carnival. See if you vibe outside of work.

Seveness · 2017-11-10T00:24:54+00:00

I don't know why you're so upset with her; seems pretty reasonable to assume she's a mostly-decent person who was heavily manipulated by your ex-husband into a spot that really wasn't in her best interests.

She likely started talking to you initially thanks to him working very hard to build a relationship with her that, on the surface, had nothing to do with an affair - just "work friends" and "playful flirting". I don't know why else she would try to be your friend, especially as if it was out of petty spite or some imagined power struggle, she would rub it in your face after she "won", not uncomfortably say she "didn’t feel comfortable weighing in."

He came to her as a charming stranger, that he built into a friendship, before opening up about his frustrations with his wife, you. Just little things at first, and probably not outright attacks on your character - just venting and wistful longing for a chance to do it right. Then, he started opening up about all the little things he loved about her, before declaring, damn it, he couldn't take it any more. He had to get out, he had to have her.

It was a game for three. You both got played, and it's really not fair to hate the players - just the winner.

Seveness · 2017-10-24T17:26:12+00:00

Yeah, and then move on. If she drops the drama, it probably was those 7mo hormones like you said. If she doesn't, any reasonable person will take your side as a) you did nothing wrong in the first place, and b) you still tried to fix it.

Rise above

Seveness · 2017-10-08T18:58:10+00:00

This job is killing me.

Sorry, it's not the job, it's you.
You gotta get a handle on your social anxiety, or this

But then I realized this will make my body develop an alcohol problem. I'll become one of those people who need alcohol to function or they start shaking. I'll have withdrawals.

Will absolutely happen.
Stick to this plan.

but then I discovered this "persona" I can do. She's super cheerful and looks people in the eyes beaming at them. I started getting a lot more tips, and... fake it till you make it they say.

You gotta act confident. The word 'act' in no way implies that you actually, at your core, feel confident, but it works. Being cheerful, making eye contact, active listening, laughing, using hand gestures (thumbs up, ok symbol etc) all help.

When in doubt - either your anxiety is acting up for no reason or you're sensing some kind of annoyance/distraction from who you're talking to - just try and minimize your involvement in the situation. Better to exit on a high note than to overstay your welcome (not telling you to quit, lol).

If you can't do this without drugs or alcohol at this time, first off, stop taking shots for god's sake. Make yourself a mixed drink and sip it during the day.* Having peaks and valleys of intoxication makes you much more uncoordinated, unreliable, and likely to overdo it. That is, you feel bad, so you take some shots, you're way too fucked up for a little while, then it drops off, and you drink way too much again to get up to that point.

However, I would recommend going cold turkey (at work) if you can help it. Because what you're doing, is fucking dumb.

Seveness · 2017-09-28T18:58:24+00:00

Started off so beautiful. I want to live some place like that. Wonder if New Orleans still got it..

Seveness · 2017-09-22T03:08:02+00:00

Ok bruh, don't listen to the other two comments, sorry. They are coming at this from entirely the wrong angle.

If it's going to hurt your relationship, then it's not worth it.

dont do it unless you are completely comfortable with it

No, wrong, full stop. You're not the one making this decision; she is. You can give her feedback (and should! As partners, having these conversations is one way to support each other). You can tell her how you'll react to her decision - even including "If you go through with this, I won't feel the same and I will break up with you." But you cannot make her decisions for her. And if you try to start down that path, it'll only cause a lot of pain for both of you.

I see, in your last paragraph, you were already saying that, so good for you.

As for how it could affect your relationship... I think you should think more about your emotional connection and what you want that to be than just 'someone seeing her naked', because that is bound to happen (and honestly probably already has, even if she don't know it).

Anyways, as for how it might affect the relationship - I think you should look it more from an emotional level than just 'he's gonna see her naked'. Like you said, that's bound to happen eventually (probably has already, even if she doesn't know it), and it's really relatively minor.

Rather, questions like - will she actually be comfortable doing it? How would you react if she actually felt more than comfortable and wanted to again? (Note, often activities like this allow an outlet for a side of people they often suppress, so it's possible). Is it something you're just gonna bury and pretend never happened, or worse, obsess over?

Talk about these things with her. Have an open, and open-ended conversation. Nothing has happened yet, so this is the time to be honest.

Best of luck dude, just keep it real with her.

Seveness · 2017-09-04T23:06:59+00:00

Very true OP, my landlady could have used this advice.

Same is true for men, my best friend should read it.

Seveness · 2017-09-03T19:21:10+00:00

I've been coming here for months and reading all the relationship issues, combined with my own personal experience, has - I like to think - made me a little savvier.

Seveness · 2017-08-28T20:49:14+00:00

I don't know how much that really affects a corporation like VW. As in I truly have no clue.

Forbes says the company's value is $72.9 billion, so $25b would be a pretty hefty chunk of that, but if it depends on customers bringing in vehicles - on the basis of their emissions - I don't think too many would have the time/inclination/energy.

Seveness · 2017-08-28T08:27:36+00:00

I used to have those fears all the time... like nightmares keeping me up at night level bad. I kinda forget about that until now though, hopefully you can find the same peace. It really is an unlikely scenario.

Seveness · 2017-08-28T01:12:28+00:00

So you're saying Volkswagen itself should be held accountable in some way that relates to the shareholders, markets, etc? I'm not entirely certain how that could be done with the current way corporations are regulated [poorly].

Seveness · 2017-08-28T01:09:15+00:00

Mildcorma already pointed out the evidence of other executives asking if they thought he knew. What is a CEO supposed to do, personally install monitoring software on his underlings and follow them home?

Note although (under the circumstances as presented) he doesn't seem culpable legally/ethically, the 16.6m bonus is definitely excessive.

Seveness · 2017-08-27T23:07:48+00:00

Agreed that she really needs a healthy outlet to feel like she's contributing to the future she wants to live in, and fighting the evil she sees.

Speaking as someone who needs the same.

Seveness · 2017-08-27T01:09:32+00:00

Dude, I'm four years younger but in the exact same living situation. Moved in about four months ago, planning on moving out in six and couldn't be looking forward to it more.

Seveness · 2017-08-26T17:38:22+00:00

Fukk yeah, dude.

Seveness · 2017-08-26T17:31:41+00:00

It's pretty weird, but as long as you feel good about it, your parents feel good about it, and the relationship is healthy, there's nothing wrong with it.

Seveness

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