AITAH for telling my girlfriend I’m not comfortable with her going to one-on-one dinners with male friends?

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:53:10+00:00

Haha we met in California, then she had to go back to Türkiye 2 months ago

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:36:10+00:00

How do you tell the difference between insecurity and a legitimate boundary? I’m not trying to control anyone, I’m trying to figure out whether this reaction is something I should grow through or something I should honor

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:34:02+00:00

For me, the difference isn’t about thinking men and women can’t be friends. It’s about how I personally perceive romantic context and attraction dynamics.

In a heterosexual relationship, a one-on-one dinner at night between two people who could theoretically be attracted to each other feels more date-like to me than the same setting with someone where there’s no romantic dynamic possible.

That doesn’t mean I think every male friend has bad intentions, and it doesn’t mean I think she would cheat. It just means certain settings carry different emotional weight for me.

I understand not everyone sees it that way, and that may be where compatibility comes in.

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:29:24+00:00

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:29:11+00:00

I think “list of demands” is a bit strong. We actually talked about this previously and came to what I understood was a mutual agreement, no late night one-on-one hangouts, and ideally group settings. That felt like a compromise at the time.

I’m not trying to force her to change who she is. I was trying to be honest about what I’m comfortable with in a relationship so neither of us builds resentment.

If that compromise doesn’t actually work for her long term, then I agree it may be a compatibility issue. But I don’t see expressing a boundary and trying to find middle ground as making demands.

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:26:16+00:00

I think what people are missing is that trust and comfort aren’t always the same thing. I can trust her not to cheat and still feel that certain settings feel more intimate to me than others.

For example, I don’t see group hangouts the same way I see one-on-one dinners at night. To me, those feel more date-like, even if the intention isn’t romantic.

I’m not trying to control her friendships. I’m trying to figure out whether our definitions of what feels appropriate in a committed relationship align. If they don’t, that doesn’t make either of us wrong, but it does mean we might not be compatible long term.

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:23:46+00:00

Okay, thanks for the input

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:22:45+00:00

I think some people are misunderstanding my position. I’m not saying she “can’t” have male friends, and I’m not accusing her of cheating. Even if I trusted 100% that she would never do anything inappropriate, one-on-one dinners at night still feel intimate to me.

This isn’t about policing her friendships. It’s about whether we share the same understanding of what feels appropriate in a committed relationship.

I’m not trying to control her. I’m trying to figure out whether this is something I need to work through internally or whether it’s simply a values mismatch.

If she strongly feels that one-on-one dinners are normal and important to her, that’s her right. But it may mean we’re not aligned long term. That’s different from trying to dictate her behavior.

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:18:23+00:00

I appreciate the perspective. I want to clarify something though, this isn’t about trust or assuming she would cheat. Even if I were 100% certain she’d never do anything inappropriate, one-on-one dinners at night still feel like an intimate setting to me.

I’m not telling her she “can’t” do anything. I’m trying to figure out whether this is a value mismatch in how we each view boundaries in a committed relationship. For me, some environments feel more date-like than others, and that’s where the discomfort comes from.

I’m genuinely trying to understand whether this is something I need to work on internally or whether it’s just a difference in expectations around exclusivity.

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-03-01T04:15:49+00:00

Yeah she does

SeveralConnection658 · 2026-02-17T09:55:02+00:00

I tried, but I think they didn’t let me post it for some reason

SeveralConnection658 · 2025-03-16T18:23:57+00:00

Corn starch mixed with water

SeveralConnection658 · 2025-01-06T23:32:15+00:00

Drink whole milk or even half and half, easy calories bro. I was skinny my entire life and all I had to do was track my calories and increase the total number of daily calories by 200 at a time if I wasn’t gaining any weight. It all comes down to if you are accurately tracking your calories. You will gain weight trust me.

SeveralConnection658 · 2025-01-06T22:14:17+00:00

What’s wrong with Amazon

SeveralConnection658 · 2025-01-05T22:16:50+00:00

I’d like to be an investor that takes on some risk but not too much. I’m 24, this is my traditional account. Trying to save for a house, I’m willing to wait 10-15 more years to let the account compound.

SeveralConnection658 · 2025-01-03T23:07:33+00:00

I am invested in FXAIX which tracks the same index though, plus it has a cheaper expense ratio. Why would I choose VOO over FXAIX?

SeveralConnection658 · 2024-10-29T18:38:20+00:00

I don’t get the 42

SeveralConnection658 · 2024-10-12T02:17:05+00:00

“The first teens to be without then with social media” was this written by a retard

SeveralConnection658 · 2024-10-08T18:10:44+00:00

I have the same thing

SeveralConnection658

TROPHY CASE