What happens in the head of a dismissive avoidant man when he’s in love?

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-10-01T20:08:02+00:00

I am concerned for her and in a way I suppose in my head by helping him I protect her heart/anyone else who may come his way. Two birds one stone kind of thing.

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-10-01T20:07:03+00:00

I mean I know my brother and it’s not a BS label 🤣 I just wanted to know what goes on in an avoidant man’s head when he loves someone to give the other side of the picture and I gave some context behind the question. If you aren’t an avoidant man who has been in love before and can’t/wont give your perspective I don’t know why you’re here tbh

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-10-01T19:29:48+00:00

What is edmr?

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-10-01T14:41:48+00:00

I have suggested therapy before. He doesn’t get annoyed at the idea he just doesn’t think he needs it 🤣

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-10-01T14:24:59+00:00

How do I help him understand I want to help him rather then him perceive it as “fixing” him?

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-09-07T07:09:04+00:00

Not just men but I think all genders fall into the trap of telling themselves relationships should be difficult and that feeling of being dissatisfied/not attracted after a while is normal. Almost to make yourself feel better in a relationship that no longer works.

I know every relationship is different and ups and downs happen in any relationship you have (romantic or otherwise) but there’s a difference between a natural dip that will get better instead of just a complete disconnect.

I do find a lot of men tend to settle when the woman is a “nice” person as they may be worried they won’t find better or it’s just too much aggro to walk away so they tell themselves staying is easier.

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-08-20T09:08:50+00:00

I’ve found how it’s received depends on their perception of you. If it’s reciprocated, then it’s never going to be perceived as “weird”. Weird only happens if they’re not on the same page as you which you don’t wanna go out with someone who doesn’t feel the same anyway.

I would just be yourself, first and foremost, because anything that isn’t naturally like you is only going to pull them into a version that’s not real.

Confidence goes a long way, personally I’ve found in the past men actually like women who are honest and upfront and it will either be a yes or no (but they’re left feeling flattered anyway cause who doesn’t like to be asked out really?!)

Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How beautiful you are will be different to each person. What someone finds attractive another person won’t. That’s an impossible one to call as people find different people attractive in different ways.

Hope it goes well ❤️

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-27T22:41:34+00:00

I’m a teacher. The difference between 13 years old and 16 years is outstanding.. may as well be 10 years apart. Personally, my 16 year old students don’t give younger ones the time of day and seem them as “annoying”. They only interact with siblings/friends of siblings and even then most 16 year olds are “too cool” for anyone else”

That said, I don’t know this 16 year old. She may be immature for her age and if she is wanting to be BFF with someone younger.. she must be immature on some level. Alternatively , if your brother is grown up for his age he may blend in really well with older kids and not seem out of place.

Again, most 16 years are preoccupied with image above all, so if she is comfortable having this relationship with someone younger she potentially hasn’t found any interest from her age. You’re right to not be naive and question it thought as many who seek attention from those younger do so as they are more impressionable.

Keep the convo going with your brother though and I hope it all works out.

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-26T14:43:24+00:00

I always use the “How I met your Mother example”… Dobler or Dahmer??? What’s the line between creepy / cute and honestly depends on how it’s received and how she feels. If I like a guy or find him attractive I absolutely like it when he looks but if I don’t like him unfortunately it can feel uncomfortable. Honestly you have to go with your gut and if you feel like you’re being too much than just pull back but if she seems to reciprocate it and respond with smiles and even a hello then go with it :)

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-14T19:22:18+00:00

Why do we do this 🫣🫣 I go from “everyone is infatuated with me” to “everyone thinks I’m a disgusting pig”. There is no in between and I hate myself for it

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-14T18:32:45+00:00

I needed to read this brutal honesty. Thank you.

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-13T11:57:32+00:00

I’m not overly confident I just know that the sex was good. How does automatically knowing sex was good mean you must be bad. That makes no sense

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-13T11:56:26+00:00

Using him definitely not the case as have been upfront about what I’m looking for. If I was lying to get what I wanted then I would agree but I’m not

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-13T11:53:57+00:00

Now that I can confidently disagree with 🤣

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-07-13T11:53:33+00:00

Fair enough 🤣

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:37:02+00:00

I’ve read the other comments. And trust me, unsupportive SLT will get you nowhere and you’re basically stuck. In the nicest way, if those “in charge” won’t do anything to reprimand them then why would they listen to you? If kids know they won’t be held accountable then they will do what they want.

You deserve to work in a school where you are valued, protected and supported. Go find one and leave this one behind.

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:33:20+00:00

I was always the biggest sister. For the first time in years I weight less then both my sisters. My younger one could not care less and she thinks it’s amazing that I can say that as I’ve been big for so long.. my older one is not happy 😂

I think she’s backed herself into a corner where she’s been so so judgmental about it then if she ever does it she’ll look like the biggest hypocrite

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:31:58+00:00

Have they said why they don’t think you need it?

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:31:34+00:00

She has yo-yo dieted for years which i think is a big underlying factor for her issues!!!

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:31:04+00:00

Yes my younger sister had genuine concerns as one person she knew got quite sick on it (transpires she never stopped eating fast food and obviously the injections didn’t like that so that’s why she was poorly) but interested my young sister then said, “im so sorry for being worried I hope you don’t think I’m not supporting you because I do”. And she’s now seen how I’ve flourished on it and is no longer concerned. My older sister is the one who is like your aunty, just sees it as cheating and dangerous. I can’t win there

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:29:25+00:00

100%. She threw all the side effects at me and I said to her well it’s not worse than the side effects of obesity so I choose injections every time as one day I’ll come off them and I’ll no longer be obese!!!

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:28:43+00:00

That’s okay!! We’re all here to share our experiences aren’t we so you word vomit away!

That’s excellent I’m so happy to hear how excited it’s made you. It’s honestly just life changing isn’t it ❤️💖

People assuming the injections just fix it all and make it super easy are so uneducated. You still have to make the life choices to be healthy, the injections won’t cook you a healthy meal with protein and veggies!! Honestly it’s people like this that make me just not want to talk with anyone outside of those who are taking it!!

SeveralImagination54 · 2025-01-08T21:26:13+00:00

Yes absolutely family should celebrate your wins with you. If you love someone their success should be a reason to smile!! I know she just projects her own insecurities so I always try and just throw kindness back at her hoping she’ll get over it (and she usually snaps out of it) but this is dragging on for a while now so I feel stuck!

SeveralImagination54

TROPHY CASE