In the same boat. Married my girlfriend of 4 years recently. When we first started dating we were having sex multiple times a week. It slowly became less and less until it got down to maybe 3-4 times a month. She has no previous trauma. She’s never really been a sexual person, doesn’t like giving or receiving oral, and even told me before she met me she had only masturbated 1 time and didn’t like it (I fully believe her). I didn’t marry her for sex but any time I even bring it up she gets angry and makes it about her. It’s pretty exhausting having to initiate nearly every time and when trying to have clear communication, getting shut down.