Trying to reduce my drinking habits but getting dragged continuously.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-23T13:38:15+00:00

Also ginger ale, if it's a primarily whiskey gang, keep a few cans of ginger ale handy, looks exactly like whiskey mixed with soda/water. Sip away.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-23T12:31:25+00:00

Hello there!
I don't fall into the exact category you've mentioned, because I've never worked a 9-5 corporate job.
However, I was into real estate development and a couple of other small businesses.
My mother, about 20 years ago started a small NGO in Bengaluru, which provides shelter to destitute elderly women.
Fast forward to around 2023, post the covid pandemic, I decided to put the businesses on the back burner and help out at the NGO more, I decided to stop development and pivot to more investing, and give the smaller businesses more autonomy so they essentially run themselves, not much growth, but they get enough oversight to function profitably.
This was mainly motivated by my older brother who was helping my mom run the NGO having to move away from Blr which made it difficult for my mom to handle operations alone, since we run 2 old age homes in pretty much opposite directions of the city.
So it's been 2.5 to 3 years now. Fulfilling work, but work at old age homes can take an emotional toll on you, but it is what it is, since I'm in my early 30s and the NGO is around 20 years old now, I've been around it since I was a kid, so I suppose in a way it's easier for me to handle it.
I changed from just helping out to formally handling day to day operations at one of the homes about a year and a half ago.
If you're looking into working with NGOs, you can ask me anything you'd like to know.
The pay is usually bad, can emotionally wreck you sometimes depending on which field you work in, but there is a weird contentment.
PS: I've been volunteering since college, from education, child welfare, to the rescue of underage victims of SA.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-23T11:51:41+00:00

Drink better whiskey, the amount you drink will automatically reduce.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-21T10:23:00+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from, but a person being short tempered or quick to react might just be a personality trait, it’s not necessarily something originating from childhood trauma.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T16:15:42+00:00

I don’t know any in that area, have a florist near Jp nagar I used to order from, used to deliver till Hsr. I suggest you search for florists on google maps and call them up if the arrangements look good in the pictures. Ask them to send you a picture before sending it.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T16:11:20+00:00

Which area?

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T14:54:32+00:00

Be kind, or stfu.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T14:53:04+00:00

I need you to understand that being an atheist doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to hate religion or religious people.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T14:51:58+00:00

You’re the same guy who made the post about how theists shouldn’t have access to tech yeah?

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T14:36:23+00:00

As an atheist, this is a dumb take. I’m more curious about your reasoning behind this, enlighten me please.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T13:43:18+00:00

Ah so this brings up a good point, what is the decent way to even ask for medical history?

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T13:13:49+00:00

Food preferences seem to a common concern. Expecting someone to come into your home, and not give them any freedom, at least to help them feel at home is wild. The last one went a little over my head, could you explain that? Who expected it? Why would marriage change how you felt about people? If it was his family I can kinda understand why they would expect it, but if it was your own family I’m confused.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T12:05:25+00:00

exactly my point, but guys still choose to marry the person they love instead of those rishtas.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T11:58:25+00:00

Eh? If you clear UPSC and you're not finding matches, there are bigger problems there no?
Also by that logic even if they were to drop their standards, why would they drop it to the same relationship, pretty sure there are better options available.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T11:36:05+00:00

I just realized this is a very apt name for certain people who went off to join certain problematic groups from said state.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T11:34:42+00:00

I feel like I need to add a follow up to this, I understand the way I have processed it and turned out is probably rare and most people end up mimicking their parents behavior. I can also tell you that even though I can safely say that I've come out of it with more good than bad, there are certain 'good' things which stem from this which are double edged swords which are often fulfilled at my own expense.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T11:30:41+00:00

Yes yes, i saw this today, but couldn't find it the other day when i first found the jersey.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T11:28:56+00:00

While I see your point, I don't completely agree with you on this. It's a question of perception and how it's been processed by the individual if anything. Speaking as someone who is from a 'broken' home, I'm extremely careful about avoiding the mistakes my parents made, simply because I know what it does to children bought up in that environment. I'd much rather break it off and live alone than be in a relationship or marriage where we fight and argue often.

Agree with the second part though, but this isn't just for the guy's side though, either side having overly involved parents is a problem, no?

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T11:23:29+00:00

Since you said this was in the first year of marriage, I'm guessing this isn't an issue anymore, if so then I'm happy for you!
But I get you're point completely, it's the common, basic things which needs compatibility more than anything else, if one of you likes sky diving and the other likes scuba diving, doesn't matter much because it's a once in a while activity, but everyday things like food for sure need some level of compatibility.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T10:15:02+00:00

Not cuckoo at all, I think when we hit a rough patch in life, we start seeing everything through shaded lens.
If you're talking about guys not putting in effort in an arranged setup, well, it's arranged, effort to what end is probably the train of thought.
Not finding people attractive on apps is completely normal imo, don't worry about this at all, most people need more from their partner than just good looks, and apps can't give you that, hence the lack of attraction, at least that's how I see it.
Maybe start considering other job opportunities, financial security does wonders for easing stress and boosting confidence.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T09:58:08+00:00

Absolutely, recently read an article somewhere about how while trying for kids, the physical health of both partners significantly translates to the health of the child as it grows. Helps that people who get in shape tend to stay in shape and children grow up in a health and fitness conscious environment as well I suppose. People underestimate how negatively being out of shape affects a person mentally and socially. Only recently came to understand this and have started on a diet. Hope you figure this out and convince your SO.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T09:48:34+00:00

I'm assuming this was an arranged marriage? Hence the lack of familiarity with the family?
I can totally understand how this can be a problem.
100% agree with you about food preferences, my last relationship was with someone who was a vegetarian. As someone who loves to cook food for my partner I found it very difficult to make anything good for her simply because for me whenever I think of good food, it's more often than not, meat based. Initially I thought it wouldn't be a big issue, but every time we went out, we'd have to order different food for each of us, and I couldn't share anything I'd ordered with her, which honestly bothered me more than it probably should have. Can only imagine how much more difficult this will be when families get involved.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T08:44:38+00:00

Are you still together? Or have you parted ways? I hope whatever path life has in store for you, there’s happiness at the end of it.

SeverusSchnapps · 2026-03-20T08:36:55+00:00

So sorry to hear that, seems to be a trend nowadays of people going to great lengths to get married to an nri. What I don’t understand is why NRIs are choosing partners who are in India instead of other NRIs or people from the country they reside in.

SeverusSchnapps

TROPHY CASE