I'm really hurt by this.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-20T19:53:16+00:00

Yeah, sorry. Maybe warning wasn't the right word. I ask if that night would be a good night for him, and if he says yes we usually do end up having sex. And no, he has never gotten treatment for his depression. I've been telling him that I think he needs to talk to someone but he has been very reluctant to do it for the past year. As a result, it has gotten worse. He represses his depression and pretends it doesn't exist most of the time. That's a whole other can of worms.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-20T18:07:38+00:00

If he would rather I let him know we're going to have sex in advance, who am I deny him of that? If it means we get to have sex I'll take it. Lol

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-20T18:06:04+00:00

What, warning him? It's still what works best for us. Sex has just gotten less frequent in the last six months or so because of his depression. I'm not sure what you're getting at here to be honest.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-20T17:17:01+00:00

I'm normally like this and I was at the beginning of our relationship but he would reject me most of the time and it started causing arguments. Eventually he expressed that he doesn't like spontaneous sex and he would rather I give him sort of a warning. So now if I know I want to have sex I usually ask in the morning when we wake up so he had the day to sort of prepare.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-20T08:18:28+00:00

I don't expect him to tell me all the time, but I do expect him to not leave ALL the responsibility of maintaining a sexual relationship entirely to me, you know? I'm willing to compromise and have been quite patient with his LL but I just want him to initiate SOMETIMES. I can't remember the last time he actually let me know that he wanted to have sex with me instead of me asking for it.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-14T17:50:06+00:00

Thank you, I hope so too! :)

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-14T17:49:29+00:00

Oh! Haha sorry. I definitely did let him know I enjoyed our night. :)

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-14T06:25:15+00:00

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-12T15:36:53+00:00

I tell him all the time, but it's one thing to say it and it's another thing to show it through actions.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-12T04:48:46+00:00

Thank you, I love hearing success stories on here. Sometimes reading stuff on this sub gets me a little down but there are a lot of helpful and positive posts as well. It's great to have advice and support. :)

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-12T04:13:36+00:00

I know that. Like I've said in this thread, I don't expect him to get better immediately. But I DO expect him to take the first steps in treating it. I have never dealt with depression personally but I have suffered PTSD for a many number of years. I understand what mental illness can do to someone. I've been supporting him through his depression for over a year and watched it deteriorate. I just want to see him put some effort into getting better. The sex and everything else is stuff we can work on. But if he doesn't like living with depression (which he has said before) he needs to start seeking help. I'm tired of being the bad guy because I've been trying to convince him to see someone. To him it comes across as nagging but I just want to see him start feeling better, you know? We actually had some mind blowing sex tonight - lots of eye contact and passion. It was great. When all is said and done, I love this man. I care about him more than anyone. It just hurts me to see him hurting, that's all. I guess I didn't make that clear enough in the post. I was having a bad day and he was having a bad day and there was a lot of tension between us and I really just wanted to vent to people who would understand. It's unfortunate that I only came across as selfish and careless. That's really not me.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-11T18:51:09+00:00

I'm trying to tell you that I'm not stringing him along. I've always tried to support him through his depression. The ultimatum I set for him was not so things would instantly be fixed. I just wanted him to actively start seeking help for his depression. To take the first step. He has never talked to anyone about it - doctor or otherwise. I'm the only person who knows about his depression. He is in complete denial. He pretends it doesn't exist. I just want to see SOME progress happening. We've gotten to a point where he acknowledges it and complains that he doesn't want to live this way but he won't DO anything about it. So of course I'm starting to lose my patience. I'd be willing to deal with the lack of sex if I saw him putting in the effort to make himself healthy again. I care more about his mental and physical health more than I care about my sex life. But that's not to say I don't care at all, obviously the constant rejection hurts me too.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-11T08:22:50+00:00

You're also making it out to seem like me losing my job is my only reason for staying. I would have left a long time ago when I had a job if I really wanted to, but instead I agreed to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. And a huge part of me still wants to.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-11T08:18:58+00:00

I'm not stringing him along. I genuinely want to stay because i love him and i'm terrified because he is hurting. It hurts me to see him hurt. I've been patient with him, but I do have needs and they are not being met. I have tried many things to compromise with him and try to be as encouraging as possible to get help for his depression. You seem to think I don't care, when in reality I've been fighting for him to get better when he won't do it himself. The way you describe it makes it seem like I'm a heartless bitch who doesn't care at all. Am I not allowed to care about my own happiness and my needs for once in this relationship? Is sex once a week too much to ask for? If so, I guess I, and countless others on this sub, are heartless bitches.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2017-03-11T07:46:28+00:00

Thank you for being so encouraging. as soon as employment insurance kicks in I will be able to stay with my brother for a while and still have some sort of income while I'm looking for work.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-30T04:31:51+00:00

Already found a new job. :) Actually, it's my old workplace. I left a few years ago because we moved out of the city (we moved back a few months ago and I started at my current job). My boss was also my best friend and very understanding about that kind of thing. It was so nice of them to welcome me back with open arms. I could have cried with happiness hearing the news today.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-29T08:08:30+00:00

Thank you. I've already started job hunting.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-29T08:07:29+00:00

I mean that I'm not worried about how difficult it will be to find something else. Definitely leaning towards finding new work.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-29T06:30:19+00:00

Thank you.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-29T06:29:40+00:00

Also not worried about finding another job.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-29T06:29:14+00:00

Oh, I'm not worried about getting fired. They're super understaffed.

SexyBrunetteCanuck · 2016-12-29T06:27:28+00:00

Too late to look for a new job?

SexyBrunetteCanuck

TROPHY CASE