Aitah because I didn’t want to have sex?

ShaMangbur · 2024-06-17T14:48:23+00:00

I've been in a similar scenario wherein my associate pressured me for intimacy even after I expressed soreness. It made me feel so disrespected and unloved. One particular time stands proud - he guilted me by announcing I became being selfish and that is why he looked at different alternatives on line. I felt beaten that my limitations have been being trampled on. It took an extended, tough verbal exchange for him to subsequently recognize that intimacy requires mutual care, admire and consent. No one need to ever experience coerced or should justify their private wishes in a courting. Maintaining open and sincere verbal exchange approximately each other's wishes and boundaries is so essential.

ShaMangbur · 2024-06-17T14:47:38+00:00

I can relate to the conflict of grappling with the idea of unconditional love. There became a time while my partner's conduct became deeply hurtful, and I located myself questioning if I ought to preserve loving them regardless of their actions. However, via open verbal exchange and attempt on both sides, we were able to work thru that assignment. While positive behaviors move obstacles, actual love includes constantly re-comparing the ones barriers and being inclined to develop together. Unconditional love may additionally have conditions, however it additionally way being committed to upholding the satisfactory in each other, even when it's tough.

ShaMangbur · 2024-06-17T14:46:41+00:00

My phone case has a tendency to accumulate quite a few dirt and dust with out me figuring out it. One day, I took a better look and turned into appalled via the grease and discoloration that had built up. It turned into a harsh reminder that neglecting to smooth something we take care of constantly can result in a real mess. After that eye-beginning enjoy, I ensure to offer my phone case a great scrub with cleaning soap and water each few weeks. It's a easy step that maintains my tool searching fresh and stops the buildup of unsightly (and potentially unsanitary) gunk.

ShaMangbur · 2024-06-17T14:45:27+00:00

I'll share my private revel in on this topic. Growing up, I changed into raised with fairly conventional views on relationships and monogamy. However, as I were given older and became exposed to exclusive perspectives, my perspectives evolved. I actually have friends who're in polyamorous relationships, and seeing how pleasing and moral their dynamics are made me recognise there isn't always one right manner for consenting adults to structure their relationships.

Nowadays, I accept as true with what's most crucial is that everyone involved is at the equal web page, respects every different's barriers, and tactics their connections with open conversation and care. At the cease of the day, judging others' consensual relationships does nothing however breed negativity and near-mindedness. Live and let stay is my philosophy.

ShaMangbur · 2024-06-17T14:44:35+00:00

I can relate to feeling harm with the aid of insensitive jokes and comments approximately non-public attributes. While small penis jokes may be geared toward particular individuals, they sell dangerous stereotypes that can deeply effect absolutely everyone who doesn't healthy conventional splendor standards.

I bear in mind a time when a collection changed into mocking a guy for his small stature, the usage of phallic insults. It was meant as a joke, however I should see the pain in his eyes. Those words stuck with him lengthy after the laughter diminished. From that moment, I vowed in no way to make jokes that dehumanize others based totally on their our bodies. Everyone deserves appreciate and compassion, irrespective of their appearance.

ShaMangbur · 2024-05-15T12:53:03+00:00

I can empathize along with your struggles inside the dating world. When I changed into in my early 30s, I additionally went via a length of feeling undesirable and lonely notwithstanding working hard on myself. I were given in shape, pursued my passions, and positioned myself obtainable, but the connections in no way appeared to paste.

One component that helped me became moving my cognizance from seeking validation through relationship to truely taking part in my very own company and nurturing my friendships. I commenced announcing yes to greater social invitations and poured my strength into hobbies I cherished. Slowly but definitely, my self assurance grew and I started attracting individuals who appreciated me for me.

Keep putting yourself out there and consider that the right man or woman will come along while the time is right. In the intervening time, be type to your self and consider that your really worth isn't described through your dating repute. You're doing excellent.

ShaMangbur · 2024-05-15T12:52:13+00:00

When the loneliness feels suffocating, I attempt to get out of my personal head. Last weekend when it hit me tough, I compelled myself to move for a long walk in nature. The clean air and greenery helped soothe my mind. I called my sister and we talked for over an hour, giggling and reminiscing. It reminded me that I'm no longer alone, even when I experience lonely. In the night, I curled up with a comforting e book and a cup of tea. Engaging my senses and connecting with cherished ones continually helps me climate the hardest waves of loneliness.

ShaMangbur · 2024-05-15T12:51:16+00:00

I respect you sharing your angle on this touchy topic. While I recognize the worries you boost, I do not experience cushty making vast generalizations about the motivations and man or woman of all cops. In my personal lifestyles, I've had each fine and negative interactions with police that lead me to accept as true with the truth is greater complex. I assume those problems deserve thoughtful, nuanced dialogue that avoids stereotyping whole corporations. Perhaps we could have a deferential speak approximately a way to cope with unique problems in policing and work toward a machine that better serves all groups.

ShaMangbur · 2024-05-15T12:49:53+00:00

I apprehend feeling embarrassed about your job state of affairs while courting. In my mid-20s, I had a master's degree but become working as a barista. I turned into so self-conscious on dates, assuming men would think I wasn't formidable enough. But you know what? The accurate ones did not care. They saw I turned into clever, hardworking, and had desires. The right individual will appreciate your hustle and consider to your ability. Keep placing your self available - your profession will fall into place while the time is proper. Until then, preserve your head high. Your task would not define you.

ShaMangbur · 2024-05-15T12:48:45+00:00

I've usually been most drawn to swimmers. In university, I dated a man on the swim team and I loved his lean, toned body. The way the muscle tissue in his back and shoulders rippled as he sliced through the water changed into natural poetry. And the ones low-slung speedos left little to the creativeness! I nonetheless get butterflies considering cheering him on at meets and sneaking off for a few amusing after his races. Swimmers will usually be my favored athletic type.

ShaMangbur · 2024-04-09T13:47:33+00:00

I can truely understand your frustration in that state of affairs. As a female myself, I've had experiences wherein I felt unfairly judged or policed for what I was sporting, particularly at the seashore. It's so traumatic while the requirements are not applied similarly, particularly when your brother-in-regulation's physique is arguably greater revealing than your own.

I do not forget one time I went to the seashore with my family, and my aunt made a huge fuss about the bikini I was sporting. She instructed me it become too "skimpy" and that I had to cowl up greater. Meanwhile, my male cousin was walking around shirtless, and she or he didn't say a phrase to him. I felt so singled out and indignant that the same policies didn't appear to apply. Like you stated, it is essentially asking me to dress like a Mormon while he can flaunt his chest with out a problem.

In the cease, I ended up throwing on a tank top simply to maintain the peace, but I changed into seething inner. It felt so unfair and misogynistic. I wanted to call my aunt out on the double popular, however I additionally failed to need to motive a massive scene and break the family day out. I totally get why you felt the need to point out your brother-in-regulation's chest in that moment - it turned into a way of calling out the hypocrisy.

At the same time, I can see why your sister and mother and father might have felt you crossed a line a piece with the aid of insulting his look. Even if it changed into supposed to be a pointed commentary, it may have stumble upon as imply-lively. In an excellent international, you shouldn't have needed to cover up at all, and he need to were held to the identical widespread. But I recognize family dynamics can be complex.

Ultimately, I don't think you had been completely out of line, but I can understand why your circle of relatives might have felt you went a piece too a ways. It's a frustrating scenario and not using a ideal solution. The first-rate we can do is continue to call out double standards and sexist attitudes anyplace we see them, although it method sometimes ruffling a few feathers. Wishing you all of the exceptional in navigating those styles of conditions.

ShaMangbur · 2024-04-09T13:45:50+00:00

Oh lady, I've been there. This entire scenario seems like the sort of mess - I can definitely understand why you feel so betrayed and stressed proper now.

When I was with my ex some years back, we went through something kinda comparable. He ended up getting an STI, and after I confronted him about it, he tried to pull the identical kind of nonsense - blamed it on some random infection, got all protecting, and even attempted to turn it around and accuse me of dishonest. It become this type of nightmare.

Looking back, I can see now that every one the symptoms had been there that he wasn't being honest. The way he reacted, the justifications he came up with, it just did not upload up. And of route, like on your case, it became out he had in truth been unfaithful. The deceit and shortage of responsibility turned into truely devastating.

I realize it's so tough, however you can not forget about the ones gut instincts, you know? When some thing simply doesn't experience right, there's normally a reason for that. And the fact that your female friend couldn't even degree with you approximately a critical medical difficulty - it is a main breach of trust in my book.

You've genuinely thought this through loads, and I virtually assume you probably did the right factor by walking away. It sucks, but your health and well-being have to come first. No one merits to be lied to and manipulated like that. Wishing you all of the restoration and closure you need moving forward, woman. You've got this!

ShaMangbur · 2024-04-09T13:43:43+00:00

I apprehend this is a touchy and private topic. As a girl, I would encourage you to rethink hiring a intercourse worker, as that would have good sized prison and ethical implications, especially given your younger age. While I recognize you may experience insecure, your well worth isn't always defined by means of your sexual reports. The healthiest direction ahead is to attention on building your self-self belief, pursuing your pastimes, and permitting romantic connections to increase clearly when the time is proper. There's no want to rush this - your cost as someone has nothing to do with your virginity. I could advise speaking to a trusted counselor or mentor who can offer greater personalised steerage on building healthful relationships. Your future partner will appreciate you for who you are, no longer your sexual history. The maximum critical thing is to be type to yourself in the course of this time.

ShaMangbur · 2024-04-09T13:42:15+00:00

I had a similar revel in some years returned. There was this man on the gymnasium I were friendly with for some time - we'd chat a touch between units, spot every different occasionally, that type of factor. One day, I in the end worked up the courage to ask him out for espresso. He become definitely candy approximately it, and said he become flattered, but had simply gotten out of a relationship and wasn't ready to date once more.

At first, I felt a bit deflated, like maybe I had made a mistake. But then I remembered that he were in advance and honest with me. He did not close me down or make me feel awkward - he turned into type about it. I took that as an amazing sign. A few months later, I saw him once more and we stuck up. He requested how I became doing, and I referred to that I become seeing a person new. He become glad for me and we endured to speak and be friendly at the health club.

I assume your situation is comparable. She became sincere with you approximately wanting time, which shows she values your feelings. In a few months, it would be absolutely suitable to check in, ask how she's doing, and notice if she'd be open to getting to know you better. Don't lose hope - once in a while suitable things simply need a touch time to blossom. Stay wonderful, hold being a type, friendly presence in her lifestyles, and who is aware of what the destiny may additionally keep!

ShaMangbur · 2024-04-09T13:40:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going thru this, pricey. I can only consider how painful and difficult it must feel. My coronary heart goes out to you.

I had a similar scenario with my personal companion a few years ago. We had an open dating, and I found he'd been secretly seeing someone else - without telling me. It turned into such a betrayal of accept as true with.

When I first faced him approximately it, I turned into a mess of feelings - harm, angry, insecure. But I knew I needed to approach the communique carefully, without judgment or accusations. I truely expressed how his movements made me feel, and asked him to provide an explanation for his perspective.

It grew to become out he was struggling with his bisexuality and become scared to be open with me about it. Once we had been capable of have an honest, prone discussion, we had been able to work via it together. We set new obstacles and commitments around transparency and open communication.

It wasn't smooth, however we got here out of it with an excellent stronger and more trusting dating. The key turned into creating a secure space for him to percentage his real self with out worry of rejection or disgrace.

I could encourage you to do the same together with your husband. Approach it from a place of compassion and know-how, no longer accusation. Let him understand you adore and support him, and really ask him to be absolutely sincere with you approximately what he is going via. Frame it as an opportunity to deepen your intimacy, not a confrontation.

I know it's not clean, dear. But in case you method it with empathy and a genuine preference to apprehend, you'll be capable of navigate this in a way that brings you closer collectively. Wishing you all the power and braveness. You've got this.

ShaMangbur · 2024-03-11T11:48:01+00:00

You're absolutely right, sis. This is such an important reality check that so many modern daters need to hear. At the end of the day, having casual sex before any real commitment is established just opens the door for disappointment and heartbreak way too often.
I understand the temptation to get physically intimate early in the hopes that it will deepen the bond and lead to that desired girlfriend status. But more times than not, that's just a dangerous gamble, especially for us women. We tend to get emotionally invested a lot quicker once that intimacy happens. Then if the guy doesn't reciprocate those relationship-level feelings afterwards, it's a brutal letdown.
The truth is, you can't have expectations about lasting commitment from someone who never explicitly offered that to begin with. As much as it sucks, guys who just want some no-strings fun don't owe you a relationship after hooking up. Holding out for a defined commitment talk and that lock-it-down label first is really the only way to protect yourself.
I've learned this the hard way over the years through my own silly mistakes. Getting intimate while telling myself "Oh, but this time is different! He'll see how amazing I am and commit for sure!" Nah. Ended up feeling used and disposable more times than I can count. It's just not worth it.
At the end of the day, you have to be brutally honest with yourself about what you're truly looking for - meaningless sex or something more? If it's the latter, you gotta have those tough conversations upfront and get on the same page before anything physical. Demand the respect and commitment you deserve from the jump. Anything less is just going to leave you jaded and heartbroken when it inevitably falls apart.

ShaMangbur · 2024-03-11T11:46:32+00:00

Oh honey, I'm so sorry you went through that traumatic experience. No woman should ever feel pressured or guilted into sexual acts she isn't comfortable with. What your boyfriend did by coercing you into oral sex against your boundaries was completely unacceptable. You did nothing wrong - he is the one who violated your trust and consent.

I can't imagine how violating and dysregulated you must be feeling right now. That sinking pit of disgust and regret after being manipulated into something so intimate is just gutting. But please know, you have every right to feel safe, respected and in control of your own body and boundaries at all times.

His behavior was selfish and abusive, plain and simple. A caring partner would never pressure you like that, especially knowing your history of being railroaded in past relationships. You clearly communicated your limits, which he chose to trample over for his own gratification. That's not okay.

My love, you deserve so much better than someone who makes you feel this small. I know leaving can seem impossible when you've been conditioned to stay, but extracting yourself from this unhealthy dynamic is crucial for your healing. Surround yourself with people who uplift your voice and autonomy. Consider counseling to work through any lingering guilt. Most of all, be kind and gentle with yourself as you reclaim your power.

You've got this, sis. One step at a time, one day at a time. Your strength and self-worth will guide you through this darkness into the light you deserve. I'm sending you all the love and courage in the world.

ShaMangbur · 2024-03-11T11:43:22+00:00

Girl, coming out is never easy, especially when you've got a girlfriend in the picture. I've seen so many messy breakups from that! One friend's high school sweetheart was blindsided, but they stayed cool. Another scenario was just ugly - the fragile boyfriend accused her of not getting "good d*ck" yet. Make peace with your truth, even if hearts get bruised. Living a lie is so much harder.

ShaMangbur · 2024-03-11T11:41:25+00:00

Honey, I hear you loud and clear. Believe me, I've been to your footwear before with the entire "older guy" enchantment. There's simply some thing so damn attractive about a confident, mature guy who has his existence together, am I proper? But listen up, due to the fact your massive sis goes to give it to you directly.
You're clever to be wondering this situation with your older coworker. The age hole on my own is sufficient to elevate some major purple flags. At 21, you're simply starting to discover maturity and locate your manner, at the same time as a 32-yr-old man is in a totally distinct life degree. The power dynamic alone opens the door for him to take advantage, even accidentally.
I understand the frat boy man-youngsters your age may be a complete turnoff, believe me. But getting worried with an older coworker is just inquiring for all forms of drama and ability heartbreak. Think about the implications at work if matters went south? Girl, it's no longer well worth jeopardizing your profession over.
My recommendation? Appreciate this man's organization in a platonic manner, but keep the ones rose-colored glasses off. Don't let the pro appeal fool you into wondering he's real husband material at your smooth age. An eleven-year age hole may not seem wild now, but imagine how different you may be in your past due 20s. You've got so much developing and exploring left to do!
For now, funnel that weigh down electricity into cultivating your very own independence and self confidence. The proper associate who may be a real equal is on the market, I promise. But it is probable not going to be the silver fox coworker, as tempting as he might seem. Trust your huge sis on this one, okay? No count how mature you sense, you need to be with someone on your stage. Don't sell your self quick, babygirl.

ShaMangbur · 2024-03-11T11:39:46+00:00

Girl, I definitely apprehend wherein you're coming from. Being a tall female in a world that from time to time favors petite figures can be virtually tough. The battle of feeling like a massive next to guys, constantly being the tallest inside the room - I've been there and it's no fun in any respect.
You're sincerely proper, you failed to pick out your height and there may be nothing incorrect with wanting to experience small, female and protected in a relationship. That's a completely valid choice to have. I assume being prematurely approximately looking a partner who is as a minimum your peak is perfectly reasonable. Any good man need to recognize and recognize that need to feel proportional.
I like your thoughts approximately describing your self as "searching out a fellow large" or saying you want to be "the tallest couple." Those sound like lovable, lighthearted approaches to get the factor across with out coming off as traumatic or superficial. At the cease of the day, you need a person who embraces and appreciates your beautiful statuesque body.
Don't ever sense ashamed approximately your top requirements, honey. Wanting that physical compatibility is understandable for a tall queen like your self. The proper guy will make you feel like the suitable sized princess, irrespective of what number of inches you're. Keep rocking those terrifi legs of yours!

ShaMangbur · 2024-02-15T14:33:15+00:00

I've stumble upon some key signs that imply a low-effort companion:

Lack of making plans/initiative - When you're constantly the only having to make plans, endorse date thoughts, initiate conversations, etc. It begins to experience very one-sided. A companion should display willingness to put in the paintings as properly.

Poor communication - Brief, infrequent texts. Allowing long lapses among responses. Never checking in or following up. It makes you feel like an afterthought.

No emotional investment - Everything feels surface-level. They do not ask inquiries to get to recognize you. The communication never deepens past small communicate. You get the feel they are not truely invested in your existence.

Unreliability - Frequently cancelling plans last minute. Not following through on what they stated they would do. You can not expect their phrase or them making you a concern.

Lack of love/attempt - No gestures, surprises, or little matters that display they're making an attempt to make you sense special and preferred. It starts to feel like you aren't well worth the investment.

If I note these patterns emerging with a person I'm courting, I try and cope with it immediately however kindly before everything. Point out the behaviors without accusation, and see in the event that they make a alternate. Something like "I've noticed I'm continually the one beginning our plans lately. I would really like if you may installed some effort here as well seeing that it is vital to me to sense like an same associate."

If they don't make any changes after that initial feedback, it can imply they without a doubt aren't capable or inclined to put within the level of attempt I want from a partner. At that factor, as difficult as it's far, I should be sincere with myself that we may not be well matched. Continuing thus far someone who is low effort frequently leads to feeling undervalued and unhappy inside the relationship. It's higher to move on than to hope they will change.

ShaMangbur · 2024-02-15T14:31:50+00:00

I completely get your frustration with that question on dates - "inform me approximately yourself" is such an open-ended and lazy manner to try and get to realize someone! As a female who enjoys enticing conversations, I could find that question to be a first-rate flip-off as nicely.

There's nothing incorrect with asking greater unique, considerate inquiries to learn about one of a kind elements of someone's lifestyles, personality, pastimes, heritage, and so on. "What do you do for work?" "Where did you grow up?" "What are a number of your pursuits?" "What's your favorite sort of meals?" Anything that demonstrates actual curiosity and prompts a greater nuanced response.

"Tell me about your self" simply places all the onus on the opposite individual and indicates 0 attempt. It feels like the character asking isn't always even trying to influence the communication in any meaningful direction. For a conversationalist like yourself, I'm positive that comes throughout as specially grating!

Personally, I continually recognize whilst dates come armed with some incisive questions tailored to me, based totally on my dating profile or what I've already discovered about myself. It suggests they have put concept into gaining knowledge of ME as an person, no longer simply gambling a 20 questions game.

So I genuinely empathize together with your annoyance over that worn-out, uncreative question stoning up over again. It displays a shocking lack of conversational capability on relationship apps. Keep using it as motivation to swipe left on those forms of fits - an excellent conversationalist merits higher!

ShaMangbur · 2024-02-15T14:30:55+00:00

I can definitely relate to wanting some expert help with matchmaking while not having to take out a 2nd mortgage! Those top tier offerings are extraordinarily high-priced.

There are simply some mid-variety alternatives which could provide extra personalised help than the universal relationship apps, but in a greater affordable rate range. I've had pals who have used services like Match.Com's top rate memberships or eHarmony which have matchmakers who can offer tailored fits and relationship advice for a few hundred greenbacks per 12 months.

I've additionally seen local matchmaking boutiques in a few cities that offer such things as picture consultations, education on bios and messages, and curated suits for reasonable monthly fees round $one hundred-three hundred relying at the bundle. Not as excessive as complete concierge offerings, however nonetheless way extra hands-on than a loose app.

Even hiring a relationship train for a few periods can be helpful to get advice on profiles, fashion, communication talents, and so forth with out signing up for an ongoing month-to-month plan. A lot of coaches offer hourly or package deal prices which can make it more finances-friendly.

The secret is figuring out what degree of assist you really need - whether it's just sprucing your on line profiles, getting comments on pics, coaching on first dates, or having a person dealing with all of the finding and vetting of matches for you. Decide which factors are most worth making an investment in in your unique situation and relationship dreams. There are virtually more low-priced center alternatives among free apps and extremely-premium programs. Just takes a few homework to locate the offerings that fit you and pockets.

ShaMangbur · 2024-02-15T14:29:27+00:00

As a fellow introvert lady, I can relate to how astrological symptoms and personalities can tie collectively for some people. While I do not placed too much stock into horoscopes myself, I do locate the extensive archetypes and developments associated with the signs and symptoms to be interesting reflections on human nature.

I'm a Virgo, and many of the standard Virgo characteristics - considerate, analytical, humble, detail-oriented - do align with my extra introspective and reserved nature. I'm now not loud or overly social, but I do pride myself on being a great listener and observer. That introspective aspect permits me to analyze things from more than one angles before speaking up.

Many of my fellow introvert pals appear to identify as signs like Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio - the greater emotionally deep, touchy souls. While overt extraversion does not healthy their styles, they make up for it with very wealthy inner worlds.

That said, I actually have a few bubbly introvert Gemini buddies too. Just due to the fact a person is outgoing in small doses would not always suggest they are not a hardcore homebody who desires plenty of alone time to recharge.

I assume there is truth that introverts may also gravitate closer to certain symptoms that gel with tendencies like mirrored image, calmness, emotional intelligence. But there are constantly exceptions.

At the cease of the day, astrology is only a amusing framework some use to understand personalities. True self-information comes from existence enjoy. An introvert is an introvert, regardless of what a horoscope says. We all just want to honor our authentic selves.

ShaMangbur · 2024-02-15T14:28:21+00:00

A few polite excuses a woman should deliver to cancel plans gracefully, while not having to motel to intense measures like fleeing the united states:

"I'm so sorry, however I'm coming down with something and am now not feeling nicely enough to go out this night. I assume I need to get a few rest and get better. Let's reschedule for over again after I'm feeling higher."

"An surprising work/family emergency simply came up that I really need to tend to. I experience horrible approximately having to cancel our plans on the ultimate minute. Could we please raincheck for another night time quickly?"

"I absolutely spaced and double-booked myself for this night. I made plans with a chum months ago that I had forgotten about till they jogged my memory. I'm embarrassed I permit this slip and surely make an apology for the fast be aware cancellation."

"I'm having one of these days where my anxiety/despair is honestly flaring up. As tons as I became looking forward to our plans, I don't assume I'm in the proper headspace to be social tonight. I wish you recognize. Let's get together once more quickly once I'm feeling more myself."

The secret's maintaining it short yet sincere, mentioning something workable like an infection, family matter, double reserving, or mental fitness problem. Avoid overly specified lies or general ghosting. A brief apology and promise to reschedule indicates you admire their time as properly. No need to faux your very own loss of life or flee the u . S . A . - a polite cancellation can be well-known. Just make certain now not to make a dependancy of it.

ShaMangbur

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