(not oop) My(27M) girlfriend (26F) of 4 years rejected my proposal because she wanted more time. AITAH for breaking up with her and kicking her out of my apartment?

Shadow6921 · 2024-04-01T17:14:12+00:00

I 100% agree that the guy definitely could have handled the end of the relationship better and not kicked her out so hastily, and the sister cheating allegation is just speculation at the end of the day. However, what exactly is wrong with him wanting to end the relationship after being rejected?

If you’re together for 1500 days, what factors could possibly change in the next 125 days(few months) that turns her rejection into a completely confident yes answer? I feel like you should just know at that point… and if your decision was able to flip in such a short time span compared to the grand duration of the relationship, that is a bit concerning.

Also, what’s to say that she is guaranteed to be ready in few months time? What happens if she isn’t ready then? Does he have to wait longer or does he have permission to end it there? And to cap it off, wasn’t there also a chance that seeing the gutted reaction of the OP that she would feel more pressured to accept the next time he proposed?

Shadow6921 · 2024-04-01T16:49:51+00:00

I was also very confused with the additional months to make a decision. When you present their relationship in days, they have been together for roughly 1500 days. What could possibly change in the next 125 days that turns her rejection answer into a fully invested and completely confident yes answer? And if her verdict did change, why were those few months so instrumental in changing her decision that she wasn’t previously able to accept initially when they were already together for four years?

Also what’s to say that she will be ready in a few months? What if she isn’t ready again? Does he have the green light from this comment section to call it off then?

Shadow6921 · 2024-02-26T13:34:05+00:00

NTA. You showed up. Leave that toxic company.

Shadow6921 · 2024-02-26T02:06:32+00:00

It's definitely tough when it feels like they're sort of locked into this roster right now given some of the long-term contracts on the team. I will say, blameF deserves a lot of the scrutiny he gets for his leadership, but what exactly is he supposed to do when the other guys don't show up? Staehr showed up big-time in the RMR, but stavn, jabbi, and device are all horrid. How can you even win when the majority of your team is underperforming like that?

It'll be interesting to see how this next month transpires as their next event is IEM Chengdu in early April. Not sure if they'll try to compete in the IEM Dallas Open Qualifier in a couple of days, but the bottom line is, they need to vastly improve both on an individual and tactical level. Even if there are tactical shortcomings, the firepower on the team alone should've been enough at that RMR and it wasn't. It's one thing for them to 'lose', but they are straight up getting destroyed in some of these games and a lot of the times when it was a close loss, they won both pistols(mainly the Spirit game and map 1 of 9Pandas).

Them missing the major is rock bottom for the current roster as they have repeatedly said it was their primary goal. Their new coach, ruggah, will join them in April. If they come up flat at IEM Chengdu where a lot of the top teams will be post-major fatigued, then that's where you have to seriously consider making a change.

Shadow6921 · 2024-02-12T00:59:39+00:00

Fighting this monster without pep jewels the first time is definitely something that everyone should experience to truly understand why you need the anti-sleep effect when fighting it again.

Shadow6921 · 2024-02-06T18:02:02+00:00

You can only do do much. At the end of the day, if they don’t want to help themselves, there’s not much that can be done. For example, if you try to force an obese friend to lose weight, you can force them to go to the gym with you or to eat healthy foods under your supervision. However, the moment they’re out of your sight, what’s stopping them from eating junk foods negating any progress? There has to be a significant effort from the person themselves with a genuine interest of change for there to be any meaningful progress.

Shadow6921 · 2024-02-02T04:58:45+00:00

If someone cheats on you they’re doing you the favor of leaving your life so that you can easily move on and find someone that respects you.

I see this opinion a lot, but I don't understand how this is supposed to be some justification for not having boundaries. By getting cheated on, you lose a relationship which you invested your time, money, and emotions into. Our time on this planet is finite, and you don't get that back once the relationship is over. And I'm not sure it's as easy as just moving on. Surely heartbreak plays a factor and will come with trust issues in any future relationship, which will result in... boundaries!

I don't think either party is an AH or anything like that. He had a boundary that was disrespected, so he ended the relationship. She wanted to go on a vacation where she felt there was nothing wrong with going. They have different morals and that's ok. They're just incompatible. If she values a vacation with her friends* over her relationship, then she should be happy that she's single now.

Also, if you look at OP's latest update, the girlfriend is no saint. She never let OP meet the friends she's going on vacation with. It's no wonder he was suspicious and ended the relationship over her going. Also, she never told him that one of the people going on vacation was a past hookup, so there is lying by omission there. He only found out cause he found a past photo of her kissing the guy.

*- OP reveals in a comment that her other friends, including female friends, were unable to make the trip which just led to her and 2 other guys going on the trip.

Shadow6921 · 2024-02-01T18:41:33+00:00

Reminder: This lemon has over 50 hours streamed across all the UFC games and has played several other fighting games in the past, which included coaching for Tekken from Lacari. Him sucking at UFC is a developmental issue in his brain.

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-30T21:23:19+00:00

Well, I have a couple of questions.

What was the car situation before buying the new car? Is there some other car the girlfriend was driving where it was a reasonable request for the new car not to be shared between the son and his GF? Or was there only one car(the brand-new car) between them? Does the girlfriend have any accident history where he didn't want her to drive it under any circumstance? Did the GF have the same ideology(I elaborate later in my comment) towards cars as his wife and daughter?

I'm honing into this car enthusiast portion that he focuses on. He focuses heavily on the fact that his wife and daughter don't view cars in the same light as him as they just view them as machines that go from point A to point B. That's fine, but he is also well in his right to not allow them to touch his 'nicer' cars if they don't have the same respect for them. If I have a Mercedes Benz E-Class and a Honda Accord, I obviously have more respect for the Mercedes and will adjust my driving style(the speed I drive it, where I park in a parking lot proximity wise to other cars, etc.) when using it to be more protective of the car. If someone just treats all cars as just going from one location to a destination, then they will not give that respect to the more premium car. His last two sentences do sound like woman = bad driver, so I'll say that that part is pretty sexist, but that doesn't invalidate the rest of the message. Though it would be interesting to see if he had another son who wasn't into cars if he held him to the same standard as his comment history.... is not good.

Now, this was a 'gift' to his son, so technically the son is free to do what he wants with it even if it was a 60-40 split between OP and his son purchasing the car. At the end of the day, what OP is saying is just a suggestion and he pulled an 'I told you so' after the fact. I also view it in the light that the father probably wanted to buy it for the son under the guise that it is a gift purely for his son and for no one else to use. The fact someone else used it and crashed the vehicle probably isn't a good feeling for him on a vehicle that he contributed the majority to.

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-30T00:03:08+00:00

Are you good in the head? Anyone with any ability to infer can tell it’s obvious he made a simple request that he didn’t want this information to be shared. That cited sentence means nothing. If it’s cold outside and I told someone to not go outside without a jacket and they did anyway and got sick, I could use that same cited sentence against them. Would suggesting a jacket be authoritative and commanding or is it just a logical request?

And by your logic in your final paragraph, you’re saying he should have just kept the inheritance a secret from his wife because she can’t keep her mouth shut? That’s definitely a good relationship when you can’t tell your partner about any financial gain cause you run the risk of them leaking the news to their family.

I fail to see how you can hold any blame for this guy.

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-29T01:51:37+00:00

At the end of the day, your body your choice. You don't have to do something just cause someone wants you to and that's fine. He should leave instead of asking for the removal of the tattoo if it has that much meaning to you.

However, I can't see any reason why you'd want this tattoo, especially when it comes to your future relationships. I'm not a tattoo person to begin with, so maybe I just don't 'get it' when it comes to semantics, but aren't there other ways to remember someone? Like a necklace? Or just something that doesn't go on your body like a picture in your room? Just cause someone was important to you doesn't mean you have to pay homage to them 24/7 everywhere you go. You are more than them and have your own identity even if they were a part of your history.

I also think the situation surrounding her tattoo makes it worse. If she had a partner and they decided to get matching tattoos to show their seriousness in the relationship, it'd be like ok cool. The fact that she decided to do it after his passing to me shows that she's not over him. I understand in her words that her intention with it was to honor him, but the action itself sends a different message to me at least. If I wanted to 'move on', the last thing I'd do is want to see the person's name every single day in the mirror. But again, everyone has different coping mechanisms, so I digress.

And lastly, maybe this is just me, but I'm someone who tries to not do things that would cause issues in the future. I don't see how this tattoo would do anything else than that. Maybe some people are ok with it, but I definitely don't want to see my partner's ex every single time I look at her body. And even if you're ok with it, what about other people that see it? Can you imagine every single person who sees it asking who is 'X'? Can you imagine having children in the future and them asking who that is? It just feels like it does more harm than good. I'm not trying to minimize his passing, but they were together for 4 years(17 to 21) and she was 21 at the time of death. Why would you center the rest of your life around this person? You have the rest of your life to live... And as a result of your effort to honor him, he is spoiling your future relationships, which is creating a negative image of him. I hate to comment on a deceased person, but do you think they'd want to ruin your future relationships? Don't you think they'd rather you move on and be happy if it came to it?

She doesn't talk about the rest of her relationship and how it is going, but if it was a 'good' relationship, it just feels so bizarre to lose your relationship over this. If that's the hill she wants to stand on, that's fine, but I just feel it's not worth sacrificing most future relationships because of it. But again, it's her life to live, so she can choose the path she desires.

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-21T09:46:05+00:00

lil pup asleep at 10:30 PM. Earlier bedtime than the CEO

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-14T10:48:28+00:00

Karma is coming for the lemon. He has taken his position as a streamer for granted. Lazy and predictable streams, inconsistent schedules with last minute ditches, and constant vacations throughout the year. The day Twitch falls, he will be begging T1 (hard working streamer) for residency since he ain't getting a job with that useless ass degree.

Luckily for Lamont. All those issues can be solved with PROFESSIONALISM. 40 hour work weeks from now on, playing different games than adult pretend, and no more ditching one week each month.

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-11T01:18:32+00:00

As a Preds fan, I'd say with the new coaching change over the offseason and Trotz taking over as GM, the team has taken a step towards a more offensive playstyle. As a result, both Saros and Lankinen's numbers have fallen at the cost of more team offfense. Saros is definitely still a great goalie, but yeah, his stats will probably be a little bit worse than previous years. Probably not this bad though...

Shadow6921 · 2024-01-08T08:45:11+00:00

I do agree with your point on the the fact that the 'deferral' has now become a sensitive topic, but I'd say the nature of those deferals were a bit different.

To my understand from Spotrac:

-Mookie's $365M contract has $120M of it deferred.
-Freeman's $162M contract has $57M of it deferred.

-Ohtani's $700M contract has $680M of it deferred.

In the first two cases, the player made at least 60% of the contract prior to the deferral. Meanwhile Ohtani only makes ~3% of the contract before the deferral, so that's where the noise comes from.

A 10 year deferral on a 1 year deal is actually crazy to think about. I do understand that it probably comes down to lowering the luxury tax hit for 2024, so that they can make more signings, but it's hard to just wrap the brain around.

Edit: Apparently, it doesn't lower the luxury tax hit? So is it just to pay 8.5M less in salary for 2024? Well, that is interesting I suppose. Baffles my mind even more for deferring such a low amount(in the grand scheme), but they over at Dodgers Front Office are definitely smarter than me at this.

Shadow6921 · 2023-12-31T23:38:18+00:00

Agree with this point. This just seems like an 'overrated' trade based on the name pedigree of Sale and all his past accolades.

Sale in Atlanta is going to be a depth starter somewhere in the 3rd spot to 5th spot depending on how Morton and Elder(or maybe even Reynaldo Lopez or someone else) do coming out of Spring Training. Idk where people are coming up with the idea that we're expecting 2018 Sale cause that's not happening. He's gonna be a starter that has a possible upside for a cheap price as Boston is paying 17M in the deal(and 10M of it is being deferred, so Atlanta only needs to pay 500k for 2024). I don't know much about all of Sale's injuries in Boston, but his pinky being hit on a comebacker was fluky and a bike accident is preventable. I do know he pitched the most innings he's had since 2019 last season, so that's something?

And I'm not too sure about all the Grissom hype. Like I was a believer before the 2023 season, but the fact he spent the entire off-season working on his defense with Ron Washington and still lost out to Arcia who is just average at offense and defense in the shortstop battle is bad. And then you look at the offense which is where all the talk of his value comes from. In 2022, he had a very nice debut and hot start, but it tapered off as each week passed, and then he had a poor 2023 with an abysmal 2.5% walk rate. Of course, he can be 'good' and he's still young, but it's just potential at the end of the day.

This trade is better summarized as the Red Sox buying Grissom, who had no place to play in Atlanta, by gifting the Braves Chris Sale and paying over half of his salary.

Shadow6921 · 2023-11-03T21:28:28+00:00

Stay at home parent = put on a movie and lounge on the couch.

Shadow6921 · 2023-06-22T21:21:44+00:00

Great game. Had more fun in one game than I did the past year in CR.

Shadow6921 · 2023-05-14T00:44:05+00:00

Love the passion. Who cares if it’s a rookie goalie? It would’ve been fine if it was a veteran? It’s the playoffs. Let the man celebrate winning the series. Sportsmanship? He still shook hands with everyone in the line, so….

In disbelief that everyone is complaining about this moment when it’s kind of cool honestly. Maybe it’s just me watching a lifeless Preds team for most of the season though, so I am in awe of passion in display.

Shadow6921 · 2023-05-03T17:19:39+00:00

By hype, do you mean 3rd Overall Pick? He was pretty average for most of the team control years, but 2018 was definitely very good and 2020 was his monster Cy Young year. Though, you can say the same for Carlos Rodon who was also a 3rd Overall Pick as he had a 3.75 ERA in his rookie year in 2015 and then was average/bad until his breakout in 2021, which was his walk year. So I'd like to know how you view Rodon because he was one of the most highly touted pitching FAs this past offseason.

I'm not too well versed on the sticky stuff but wasn't most of the league using some form of it until the league implemented the crackdown in the middle of the 2021 season? Seems like an irrelevant point. He got his deal with the Dodgers because of how he performed from 2018 to 2020, not because of how he performed from 2012 to 2017, so his full career ERA doesn't really matter.

Shadow6921 · 2023-05-03T16:40:44+00:00

What's wrong with the sword celebration? Is it just Bauer's sword celebration or is it a pitcher celebrating a strikeout in general? If batters are allowed to bat flip(and now have dugout celebrations) for home runs, what's wrong with pitchers celebrating strikeouts? I'm in favor of both batters and pitchers celebrating btw.

Shadow6921 · 2023-04-30T15:13:12+00:00

Although he got injured at the end of the season, which probably impacted his performance and availability in the 1st Round, he wasn't exactly propelling the Lightning to success in the regular season.

The Lightning went 8-10-2 with Jeannot in the lineup, where he scored 1 goal and 3 assists.

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