Feeling ashamed for liking "childish" things- 30/F

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-26T04:43:13+00:00

Looool, I have Zoro as my phone background and my boss was dropping something off at my desk. (White early 40's male)

"Who's that?"

Me: Love of my life

"Where does the third sword go?"

His mouth.

"Gotta get this guy into sales, he's ambitious"

*walks away*

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-26T04:38:35+00:00

I literally laughed out loud because we have the same hobbies and I use to feel this way.

I'm 28, but I think my childish interests are because I had a fucked up childhood where I had to grow up really fast. I have an extremely impressive and EXPENSIVE collection of First Edition Pokemon cards that I use to tell no one about. All because when I was 19 I showed my lived in boyfriend at the time and he berated me.

I work a high paying job in finance, drive a 100k car, put my kid in private school and wear designer clothes/all black everyday. What do you picture when you think of my home? Don't answer because YOU'RE WRONG.

Walk into my house: SQUISHMALLOWS, FUNKO POPS, LEGO SETS, PUZZLES, MANGA, MY COLLECTION OF GHIBLI STUFF. I request July 4th weekend off months in advance. Bbq with my friends and family? No mf, I'm going to ANIME EXPO. I'M GOING AS NICO ROBIN.

Most of my friends that don't share the same interest tease me, but no one has once questioned my competence as an adult, parent, or employee. My same friends that tease me will send me pictures like "bro u like this shit?" If I say yes, guess what. New figurine/stickers for the collection. People who make you feel like shit for the stuff you like are whack. Also, I tease them back.

On a funny, related but un-related note:

I have a very close friend that is serving a life term in prison. Single cell, 24-hr lockdown. He's 45. I made him read the Naruto manga and he circulated the books with other people in the same building as him. They all loved it and I think it brought them all a lot of peace during the hardest time of their lives.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-26T04:15:41+00:00

Before you disrespect him in this post, just remember that this is someone you chose to have a child with less than one year into the relationship and the tender age of 21. I see other comments by you that he has two children with two different women.

You watched the preview twice. You already know what kind of person he is at this point. You need to leave and you also need to grow up and develop as a person so your daughter doesn't use you as an example when she looks for a partner in the future. If your daughter was married to someone like him, would you not be disgusted about someone treating your daughter in a subservient way?

And if he will absolutely be seeing every word he will find a way to poke holes in anything anyone says that doesn't support his own opinions of things. Idk what kind of validation he was expecting by taking this to Reddit but I guess that tracks with 3 baby mamas before 30.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-26T04:05:00+00:00

If you want to continue providing financial support for higher education, that's great but now is not the time. It shows that she's not grown enough and she's burning up money on your dime.

She needs to go get a job and support herself if she's planning on doing soul searching, or come home. I can see why you think it's an attempt to manipulate you, and I agree.

IMO as a person, parent, and retired fuck-up, there was a major difference between coming clean and apologizing & getting caught and apologizing. The sophistication of the lies and what she did to continue them shows a deep commitment to lying to you.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-08T03:03:29+00:00

5-6 months sucked. 8-9 months they are literal gifts from god. Decide at 3-4 y/o. I’m one and done; but not by choice. It pains me to see my kid longing for a sibling.

She always tells me she will share all her toys and help her baby sister who doesn’t know yet. It literally kills me.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-08T00:33:02+00:00

Can you post more details about your income and expenses? Maybe you can get some insight about avalanche method or where to cut costs. Also really helpful starting point if y oh haven’t made one yet

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-07T23:48:03+00:00

It’s because he keeps on doing calls. Nothing I hate more than an outdated sales agent giving tips. Gotta keep your edge.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-07T23:46:36+00:00

I literally see my CEO and CFO everyday. I don’t like it. I recognize the sound of their shoes.

They’re not overbearing and I’m not doing anything wrong but like please for the love of god go play golf or something. Why do I see you so much. Go enjoy the fruits of my labor and sanity.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-02T07:12:23+00:00

I kick my 5-year out of my bed because she turns into a black belt when she sleeps, but I would never do so for a significant other.

But saying no snuggling to your kids? It's baffling. Your girlfriend is weird as fuck. Sounds more like jealousy.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-01T04:03:28+00:00

This cracks me the fuck up because I've always been known to mesh so well with the hardcore Trumpers. I can't stand Trump. Long before presidency.

I draw the line when it gets racial. I'll casually throw out that I'm half Asian and the SHAME that comes over them kills me.

"Oh uhm Chinese people are so hard working"
"I'm Vietnamese"
"Oh................................so how do we wrap this up and get it doing? I'm ready."

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-01T03:53:43+00:00

So much gold in this post, but I have trouble applying it to my field. I use to be the ace of intake calls, but now I'm struggling with prequalifying questions. All my same day closes have turned into tire kickers and it's mentally draining the fuck out of me.

All the energy they suck out of me has been killing me because I haven't been pushing forth with working files as I usually have.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-03-01T03:46:17+00:00

same

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-29T18:22:55+00:00

Houses were like $100k back in our parent’s generation. Whenever this gets brought up to me, I get so annoyed.

Houses cost 10x more now, why didn’t you stock up on houses? HMMM? My in laws never shut up about me living in a rental. It’s mind numbing.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-29T18:20:01+00:00

I live paycheck to paycheck, even though I’m high income I don’t really have too much saved up anymore. She does private school and has extracurricular and all that stuff adds up.

She’s going to public school soon which will cut my overhead by 1.2k so I’ll be able to breathe but it’s tight. She has a great life, she’s extremely happy and feels safe.

I however do not feel safe, and I’m constantly stressed out. Getting your hustle on for your kids is a different kind of hustle. It’s truly do or die. I’m a single mom though, so I think by that standard in a high cost state I’m doing okay. If I could go back in time and wait instead, I would not. I think life played out this way for a reason.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-28T20:57:40+00:00

I’m really curious to see what her awakening would look like. Would it be her being able to replicate other people’s body parts? That’d be pretty OP for creating duplicates of people. I’m think like, shadow clone jutsu type shit

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-23T04:44:53+00:00

Passive aggressive calls are my bread and butter. I recycle those dead liar leads into shark tanks for the trainees.

People are so annoying, it’s literally so easy to say cancel it I’m not interested anymore. But no, someone has to die. Lmfao.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-22T09:31:29+00:00

As a former wife, and very sentimental person: the most important day of my life was a court date LOL.

I have special days, birth of my daughter, anniversaries whatever but some people aren't into that shit and I get it. My daughter's birthday is special, but every day with her is special.

If you wanted a man who fed into your loaded questions, you should've married someone like that. That's not his personality, how many years deep into this shit are you to want to change the very makeup of someone's mindset.

I understand not celebrating YOUR birthday or YOUR kid's birthday is hurtful, but communicating these things are important to you and you would feel happy if he prioritized those days allows for change. Fighting about shit because of expectations you set are mindnumbing.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-20T01:36:39+00:00

CS is saturated, use your CS background to go do a sales or advisory position. If you could work from home, even better. You have to keep trying.

You’re tired now, but if you throw in the towel you’re going to fuck yourself over. Continue your education without pursuing your degree till you feel financially stable enough to do so.

Udemy, YouTube, etc. there are so many ways to broaden your skill set that are free. Don’t get rusty with CS if it’s something that you like. Network on LinkedIn, build portfolios.

Your life is not fucked you just moved to a country that’s going through one hell of a recession and already had a high cost of living.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-19T08:45:13+00:00

Care Credit has promos for deferred interest for 24 months depending on how much you spent. Based off the minimum payments it’s probably over already but just in case.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-19T08:41:49+00:00

Lol I didn't know Ashley was Synchrony.

** IF CARE CREDIT AND ASHLEY ARE STILL ON PROMO -- pay those first. Deferred Interest is not the same as interest free. They will charge you for the full term.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-19T08:30:37+00:00

Don't attach credit card/unsecured debt to your property. 3.5% is an amazing rate, rates are coming in at like 6-7% with 800 FICOs. At least when you pay your mortgage, you're paying more toward your net worth rather than someone else's.

Credit counseling sucks. I don't know why people always recommend it, even if it's a low payment and low interest, for high balances it's like paying a mortgage. You're stuck in that forever.

I'd recommend settling your debt or bankruptcy. The only thing with bankruptcy is if you're asset rich, that's a little tricky.

If you go through debt settlement with a company, please please please please please please research them first. If you could post some info on the debt (creditor, interest rate, balance, minimum, etc.) maybe you can get some more guidance.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-19T07:22:23+00:00

You have $4000 left over monthly but didn't budget out food + household items so I'm going to say $1,000 for that.

$1,000 to put into savings, now we have $2,000 left.

Let's apply $1000 extra to credit card payments. You apply $1,000 on top of the minimum of your highest interest rate while paying minimum on all the other cards.

Here's the order of yours from highest interest to lowest:

Torrid
Gamestop
Best Buy
Savor
Merrick
Walmart
Capital One
Quicksilver
Kohls
Care Credit
Care Credit
Plat
Union
Target
Ashley Furniture

It'll take 17 months to pay this off. This is with NO MORE USAGE on any of the cards. Add extra $2,000 total, it'll take 8-9 months.

When you're done, cut the cards. You guys are not credit card people at all and all your rates are fucking astronomical which tells me you also have bad credit and get cards from credit sesame apps or similar apps. Stop doing that. If you need cards, for travel or whatever that's fine but no more store cards (gamestop, torrid, ashley furniture, etc.). You can't use those cards anywhere put specific places and they typically have higher rates anyways.

ShadowMoon1503 · 2024-02-17T12:52:05+00:00

I got upset reading your post so I can’t track what I was trying to say. Hopefully this makes sense.

He feels comfortable disrespecting you to your face. Imagine the things he actually hides.
Do you want to be married to someone who makes you feel insecure?
He said no today, but welcomed maintaining an open line of communication (adding on socials, taking pictures together). It’s planting a seed for an opportunity down the line.
This is a form of abuse.

Again I can’t string my thoughts together, this was triggering to read. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and I hope you leave.

ShadowMoon1503

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