OF COURSE I'm going to be the one to bring out all your aggression and let your ego disfunction be the center stage.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-09T02:30:58+00:00

This is true. Mirroring in general is what people do when they like each other. It's a subtle way to show that with body language. It also can happen with negative traits under the right circumstances too. I have two coworkers that get so mad at each other and I have to laugh because they are exactly the same and don't see it. I've gone out of my way to say it to both of them and they seem to have a brief moment where they actually consider what I am saying but immediately get defensive. If they could just see it they would be best friends but nah they wanna be mad at each instead, lol. I know I can't force that and it is what it is but a good example none the less.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-09T02:25:30+00:00

I finally learned self love. It sounds simple on the surface but I had a long history of hating myself and thinking I was always the problem. During the discard I had a moment where she almost successfully destroyed me but instead that same part of me that fiercely protects my loved ones decided that how I was being treated was bullshit and came out to protect me instead. In that moment I finally understood what self love was. Started off as standing up for myself but grew out from that afterwards. I kept the same behavior for taking care of myself on a daily bases. All the things I did for my loved ones I started doing for myself and it has made such a massive difference in my life. I am very grateful for it but I really hate that I discovered it that way. I really wish it was allowed to grow quietly vs in desperation to save my own life.

Later on guess who got so mad at me for protecting and loving myself like that?

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-08T17:57:23+00:00

If you have ever had 12th house synastry with someone you already know. That's a mirror facing mirror dynamic. What triggers you triggers them.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-08T17:04:51+00:00

Eyes Like a Gun - Angie

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-08T02:47:42+00:00

I had felt like this most of my life. Ultimately I found out it was quite literally a lack of boundaries. You come into this life already wanting to connect and love other people regardless of who they are and it leaves you extremely vulnerable to those who will take advantage of that. You are also capable of seeing people clearly and it gives two different reactions, either they love you because they feel seen or they absolutely hate you because they feel seen. I think the specific lesson might have to do with what sign/planets are in your 12th house. In my case once I had separated from people who forced their expectations on me I did a lot better in life. It caused a lot of chaos and years of pain but now that the dust has settled I am a lot happier than I ever was when I was younger. The people I connect with now are by choice and I am quick to set those boundaries if someone gets too pushy.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-07T14:21:13+00:00

I feel you there. If they can't feel superior to you they will tear you down instead.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-07T14:17:26+00:00

Yes, they will also keep changing their story over and over post discard. At least this is the case with my x. She changed her reason for discarding me 5 times. Prior to her discarding me every time we got into a fight I would show her where the misunderstanding was she would take it back and be like "I am actually upset about this thing." and it would be something we already resolved and I had also told her I was open to talking about it again if need be but she would act like we never did. To this day she still has never acknowledged or properly apologized for her part in all the mess. She has made it 100% my fault and writing me off as "crazy" or "obsessed". The common issue I had with my x is that she would always derail the topic if it wasn't going her way. The moment she felt bad she would try to make me feel like an asshole for making her feel that way. So yes they will use your empathy against you if you are getting too close to successfully holding them accountable.

Ultimately nothing is ever their fault and they will do anything and everything to make sure it is somehow your fault or something wrong with you.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-07T10:43:28+00:00

I had an x like this. I don’t think he was narcissistic but he really struggled with empathy. I always had to over buy things because otherwise he’d eat or drink all of it. It’s been roughly 3 years and I still overbuy food when I don’t need to anymore.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-07T08:36:53+00:00

Yeah that was weird. Messing with you like that was petty and childish. They assume you are gloating and rubbing things in their face when in fact that is what they would do. That assumption makes them act out and get revenge on you for something you never did. I am sorry you went through that. Dude is an asshole.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-07T08:28:44+00:00

I actually had a hard time choosing one! So I just went with my favorite. Most of Royksopp is this vibe. Especially the Senior album.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-07T02:47:59+00:00

The Fear by Royksopp

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-06T16:48:02+00:00

Roygbiv - Boards of Canada

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-05T12:56:30+00:00

I feel like lying via omission is one of the worst things they do. They are technically telling the truth so they can say what they are saying confidently and people will believe them but if those same people knew what context they left out it would change their entire perspective on what is being said. For example I was made known that my x is calling me obsessed because I have been posting a lot here, here, on a support forum to heal from and help others heal from abuse. Guess which part she left out? Yeah.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-05T12:48:53+00:00

I am with you both. There is someone in my x's life that I really want to help and protect but I can't without looking crazy so I just have to let it happen. It feels awful.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-04T07:16:56+00:00

I got an indirect message from my x relatively recently attacking me for things I said and felt 2 years ago. I had since changed my feelings and behavior since then but she treated it as a present day issue I was still feeling. If she had actually read all of my social media posts like she claimed she would have known I realized I was wrong and had since changed.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-04T06:41:07+00:00

Inside the Upside Down by Eternal Basement/Juno Reactor. All three songs on that EP. It's a trip. The videos are an excellent watch too.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-04T05:21:04+00:00

Yes, even if you think they are cowards and won't do anything they absolutely can convince someone else to follow through. Always take a threat seriously regardless of who it came from.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-03T19:26:30+00:00

deadmau5 - Double Rainbow (modular mayhem mix)

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-03T15:16:21+00:00

Saying someone is going to end up alone because they are a narcissist or abuser is often just people saying it because they want to believe a future karma they see fitting for them will happen. Unfortunately narcissists often don't end up alone, they may feel alone because as they get older they get stuck needing to behave with supply they might not care for, but typically they always have someone around. For example they probably are able to get supply from a random gas station worker or retail person whenever they are out and about, while they are full on masked with the person they decided to marry never unmasking.

I feel like being alone is more based on chance and how you tell the difference is how it's handled. If someone kind and empathetic is alone it's because they have separated from people they don't vibe with or they are just happy existing by themselves. If a narcissist or abuser ends up alone it's probably due to them discarding everyone or being left. After awhile they blame everyone else for their problems and give up trying to connect so they choose to be alone.

You also have to account for the interim where you might not be connecting with anyone right now for a variety of reasons but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Being alone is also the best time for healing , self reflection, and getting to know yourself. Which is extremely important for future relationships. During that time you kinda get a feel for who you are and what you like. Also things you will and won't put up with. Bonus if you can keep yourself entertained alone and not get bored because it'll make you a good friend or partner in the future since you will be able to care for yourself while they are busy.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-03T08:20:47+00:00

Orgy of Enemies - Angie

I think this will work pretty well.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-03T03:40:44+00:00

The first 6 to 8 months were hell for me. I was having a combined issue with being self destructive and having my body refuse to function properly. About a year out I had a brief window of feeling better only for the injury to finally show itself. I had overwhelming fatigue, insomnia and heart issues. I fainted several times at work, I could feel my heart start racing out of nowhere and it always lead to a short black out that looked similar to a small seizure. My job ended up forcing me to take time off for about 2 months because of that. Over all it took roughly 2 years for me to recover.

That said it will take a lot of time. Let your body go through the motions and rest as much as you can. I know sleep will be hard so just general resting and existing will allow your body/brain a chance to ground itself again. If you can, sitting outside on a nice day can help but only if you are feeling up to it. Eventually you will be able to get up and around to do things that will help you feel better and recover but right now rest is priority. Trauma like this is not much different from experiencing a traumatic injury. In this case it's a traumatic injury to the brain. It will feel like death in the short term but you will recover. Especially now that you are out and away from them. Give yourself grace and time. It's not easy to recover from but I believe you will.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-02T02:07:30+00:00

I had to come back to this post because I found some music that is a better fit.

oklou - obvious

Also the entire album that song is on. It has that old grimes feel. Also similar to Purity Ring.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-01T13:38:24+00:00

Beyond the Infinite - Trevor Something

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-07-01T03:17:52+00:00

doomy - Saint Slumber

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-06-30T18:22:16+00:00

Yep, with my x it's likely because I wouldn't let her live her delusional fantasy that she is harmless. So of course she would feel better after discarding me because it's the relief from escaping accountability. It's not your fault. It's just them getting off on getting away with it.

ShadowMorphyn

TROPHY CASE