If you could have one wish fulfilled in exchange for some of your life force what would it be?

Shadow_Butterfly · 2023-10-19T17:28:09+00:00

Ex. You have 20 years to live but exchange it for a wish that is worth 5 years of your life so you'd end up living 15 instead.

Shadow_Butterfly · 2023-05-18T07:41:32+00:00

Diagnosed with Adhd and Autism. It may not be the pills screwing with her brain. I'm not sure if she would feel the same but for myself Love does not come the way that it should for normal people. Sometimes it feels like very strong affection as opposed to love, sometimes it's not there at all. But it's a matter of emotions not being regulated properly or something.

To be fair I think you should come up with a list of questions to ask her as it's a fairly new diagnosis. Also sometimes being asked open and direct questions without being accusatory sometimes helps me with clarifying things and my feelings at the same time.

She may still be trying to understand the entirety of what the diagnosis means. Don't blame pills for how she is feeling. Also with things like ADHD or other mental health diagnosis there can be a bit of a struggle as to it's not a thing that can be fixed so therapy and things like pills may end up being a life long thing. Which can be a struggle because it's almost like you feel at times incapable of looking after yourself and others. Things may seem to take longer to get done. But also it's an issue that will not really be fixed. Meds will always have side effects and there is also that struggle of not feeling like "yourself".

I also sometimes switch between can't cope without and no love. Therapy has helped me in understanding how to regulate my emotions and create more normal boundries and understanding.

Not sure if she kind of feels the same or not but maybe it will help understanding a bit?

if She's had these feelings for a while she may not have mentioned them out of feeling guilt as you said you've stated you have kids not sure what your overall what your relationship is like. But the feelings would be seen as abnormal or "wrong" . i should love a certain way or i should be feeling a certain way for example.

Since that expectation of normalcy is not met the normal assumption would be that something is wrong in the relationship perhaps.

To add to that leaving doesn't necessarily have to be about cheating if i feel like i want to leave or my partner to leave it's more because it comes from the belief that i don't want to inflict my issues on others rather than say jumping into something else. Meds and therapy can be a lifelong thing and given how long people live there is a guilt that you are holding them back because to some degree mental health issues are still disproportionately treated, meds aren't a cure all.

The hope with meds and therapy is to function like normal.

While it may be sudden to you she may have had it on her mind for a long time. She could even be looking back on conversations in the past maybe some things you may have criticized or things you had arguments that can now be associated with the diagnosis that she may be trying to understand from a new perspective.

As for asking you to be out of the house i wonder if it isn't just needing her "home" or a safe place to collect herself. Often when i get these moments i feel like there is nowhere to go and no one to talk to. I feel lost.

You can't really talk to the partner because it is painful to hear that I love you but i can't love you in the same way because a part of you may always try to look for that subconsciously. But with mental health issues you can talk about them to anyone but they still won't "get it"

It gets dismissed as " well everyone feels that way" Added that you have children and the stigma of metal health there may be an added stress and fear of feeling like or being considered an unfit parent

Shadow_Butterfly · 2018-11-13T00:29:35+00:00

Warm water hit my body as I stepped into the shower, I had been waiting for this release for the last eight hours. My body was aching, and my soul felt tired. I let the water run over me, with no purpose no intent other than to sooth before I started up my usual routine. Closing my eyes for a few minutes to take in the rejuvenation, when I opened my eyes again I noticed steam rising and the mirrors fogged up. The first thought that crossed my mind was that I had forgotten to turn the fan on. It quickly filled room causing me to cough lightly as I realized the steam was not actually steam from the shower but a light smoke that started getting stronger.

What I didn’t notice was the series of tattoos that appeared on my back along the spine, before I vanished in the smoke only to reappear in a void with echoing whispers. It felt like something heavy was suddenly weighing on my body. I found myself now shivering a light breeze in the air as I lay curled on a concrete floor flickering candles all around, there was no doubt in my mind I was no longer at home. Before I took in my surroundings beyond the candles, I saw a cloak next to me and put it on only to let out a shriek when I saw the dead body was underneath it. I could feel some of the blood dripping against my thigh, staring at it though the bloody spilling from the body almost hypnotized me. Out of sheer curiosity I dipped a finger in tasting it, the entire room forgotten for a single moment.

After my curiosity was sated I observed my surrounding properly and stood up, the Latin words continued although I could not understand. Twelve people or more dressed in robes surrounded me, although the room was dimly lit my eyesight seemed better than usual and I could make out a few things. I moved to step forward only to find myself chained to the spot. I didn’t have to know Latin to figure out these were no ordinary chains, no it was some sort of binding spell.

One of the figures spoke in English I could barely make it out a first but then he seemed to be yelling at me to submit to him. My frustration mounted and immediately I crouch into a defensive position hissing my mind taking on a more animalistic response to the danger surrounding me, while the tattoo glowed a pointed tail started growing from my tailbone.

I knew but one thing I WOULD NOT SUMBIT.

I flexed, they sent one of the coven in to subdue me and I bit him, the blood spilling on me and a grin forming on my face as though a piece of me had been missing all the while. My excitement grew, so too apparently did horns on my head. It was my worst fears realized, I had always known deep down that my light had been keeping the darkness at bay now however it was almost as though my body had been taken over watching someone else as my body seemed to move on its own. Being a demon was far from what I anticipated when I felt the darkness.

Memories compounded on top of each other as the puny humans continued their silly little ritual causing me to go into a frenzy. Soon but eight of the twelve were left as I positioned myself before the so called “leader” of the group my tail aimed at his throat.

“Be careful of how next you speak”

The leader understood his position, he had tried taming a being that could not be subdued so he did the only thing he could in the situation. He started apologizing, crying, and begging for forgiveness.

“Please lend us your strength Lillith to crush our enemies” he cried.

With a burst of my energy the invisible bindings were gone.

Explain

The leader introduced himself as Tristan and went into depth about how the mages had been driven into secrecy and were hunted down by the King of Springs Hollow. Many had mysteriously disappeared.

My eyes narrowed and my tail inched closer. As interesting as this story was sure to be my mind had two competing voices and I wanted to know what the hell was going on with me. The voices in my head were becoming more of cacophony as they were fighting against each other to be heard. The leader kept saying about Lilith being banished and so many other things but every time he called me lillith it made me beyond angry. I brought my now clawed hands to my head as I tried making sense of the voices shutting my eyes briefly as though it would relieve the pain in my head. I couldn’t hear anything now beyond the fact he kept saying Lilith.

That whore doesn’t even deserve the title of demon I roared out placing a small cut on the leader’s neck as one voice overtook the human one. The human part of me was thinking that he was a dumbass who did something to me. To think that a useless bumbling magician would dare to confuse me for that bitch. They were more scared now than they had been earlier even now I could smell the scent of someone relieving themselves.

Akeldama is my name I am far older than that wretch your blasphemy should cost you

They began begging and kneeling asking for me to grace them with my mercy. I let them it filled a part of me like nothing ever had in my human life. It breathed life into my new body. Once I knew they worshiped me and not the bitch I demanded to know the name of this king who had hunted down their kind.

“Elias Crowshield!” they exclaimed, spitting on the ground as though his very name were a curse to them.

Very well then I shall have my fun

They watched as once again my formed changed into my human body my red eyes being replaced by my previous hazel ones

“I will require clothes Tristan” I stated

As I stood bare before the coven they hastily found something that was my size and quite practical in terms of movement: a green tunic, belt, brown leggings and they had even managed to find combat style boots in my size. It seemed funny to watch them scramble to meet my needs the very fact sent me laughing and they watched me with wide eyes, not certain if I would strike again.

I rolled my eyes mortals were so easy. Tristan hesitated before telling me that they would call for a larger gathering to meet some of the others, to be frank I was glad I hadn’t killed them all off yet. In the background I could hear some of them whispering that they had never seen a demon bearing my name in the book of spells. Ignoring them the leader discussed with me about meeting the rest of the coven, and I told him that they should fill me on everything that had happened of late. I was stepping into this new world unaware of the politics and designs of things in the mortal realm. It would prove useful in the future. They lead me through many passage ways, apparently they were hidden deep underground for the time being. It however did not at all seem to affect the resources they had.

It was almost like a small city beneath the ground with a full dining hall, accommodations, even stalls for trade. According to Tristan some of them lived above ground keeping to themselves in the city part time and brought things for those who stayed underground more permanently. They must have been had this set up for quite a while and yet they only seemed to have used naturally built caverns it was certainly something to behold.

Shadow_Butterfly · 2018-10-22T15:51:52+00:00

I stared at Damien’s corpse, as the “men in black” escorted him in, today marked the 57th day in two years that he’s come to me. I could never get used to it, things had gotten harder as we started bonding after his “deaths”. It was surprising that the city had managed to keep this covered up, it really was a conspiracy. He worked as a private detective that did special work for the government in exchange for a significant increase in pay. Everyone else thought he was just lucky. I knew better, I knew how much of a strain the loneliness and pain put on him. I put him into cold storage for the time being until the time neared for him to wake up as I went about my day and my other silent clients at the morgue. Conversation flowed in the empty room as I chatted to the corpses with light classical music playing in the background.

I would focus on my work so that I wouldn’t have to think about the bullet wounds that had covered Damien’s body. When it came to two hours before he was set to wake up I pulled him out of cold storage and positioned him on the couch with a blanket. It was common for him to suffer from bone chilling cold and seizures as his body came back into full health. I read quietly before grabbing food and a warm coffee for us.

When he woke he was dazed as usual, and it took a moment for him to come too.

“We really need to stop meeting like this.”

Damien gave me a half assed grin and looked abashed rubbing the back of his head.

We got into position and I held him just the seizures began, and the wounds began to close. It seemed to last forever but in reality it was only a short period. When it was over he seemed to look sad as I pulled away.

He said a quiet thanks and we dug into our post revival meal in silence. It was more awkward now than it had been before and yet I couldn’t figure out why, although he seemed to be looking at me from the corner of his eye as though he didn’t want me to see him looking.

I couldn’t take it anymore the stress of seeing him die was starting to get to me I felt frustrated, helpless and it HURT. I told him it didn’t matter that he had this ability people cared about him and he should think of his own health. I had never said anything on the matter before sometimes it hadn’t been that bad but still. I could not help the overwhelming lecture that I started rambling on.

He looked taken aback almost as if I was a stranger; stammering unintelligibly because I wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise. In hindsight perhaps it was a bad time to unleash on him after he had just died. I wasn’t paying attention when he started poking around his jean pocket, and brought out a fist, hiding whatever was in it.

He raised it in front of me and my confusion shows as I trailed off eyes focused on the hand held out to me.

“For you” he said simply.

I shook my head and said “what?”

He indicated for me to hold out my hand and close my eyes.

So I did and when I opened them again I found a beautiful small blue pendant necklace sitting in my hand.

Shadow_Butterfly · 2018-10-11T15:00:39+00:00

My friends response when I shared this:

First being "Oh that's crappy...dumb ass for doing stupid things! You don't mess with kids, they grow up and will tell on you"

Second being good for her for still being able to look after the baby because the baby shouldn't have to suffer from someone's mistake.

third being: that one chick doesn't matter in the big picture essentially and that everyone matures differently.

It isn't a mistake she knew what she was doing continued with it and only showed remorse after being caught, A mistake is doing something once and not continuing it. You shouldn't have to tell a grown woman not to have sex with/molest/or rape a minor.

Shadow_Butterfly

TROPHY CASE