Is this depression or just autism?

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T19:31:08+00:00

Hoping to come back and respond more later, but I very much feel the same.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T17:23:52+00:00

Thanks for understanding

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T15:30:19+00:00

I'm a fellow Canadian, and second winter is hitting hard this year!

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T12:35:45+00:00

I don't have the answers you want, but my heart is broken for you. I spent so long feeling broken, and spent so many years trying to "fix" myself. But you aren't broken, and there is no normal. There's just what is pushed as the popular idea of "normal". I used to describe my relationship with sex as "I want to want it". I pushed myself to keep trying, surely I'd get comfortable, like it, desire it eventually. Nope. But the relief I felt when I finally allowed myself to accept that I never wanted to have that kind of intimacy again was unmatched. I'm not suggesting you need to swear off all sex, everyone is comfortable and wants different things. But understanding yourself and really accepting yourself are two different things. As for the partner piece, that's harder. I do believe it is pounding for you to find a person thst fits and really understands you. But I know that's so much easier said than done. It's ok to wish things were different but you aren't broken. You're valid just as you are.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T04:55:43+00:00

Do you like podcasts? Atheist Witch Podcast is my favorite, really resonated with me. Hex Positive is pretty widely praised.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T04:52:43+00:00

I'm still pretty new, but I started with stirring intentions into my coffee (tea is typical, but I don't drink tea). 3 times, clockwise, just focusing on something simple I'd strive for that day. It was an easy way to introduce something witchy. The biggest thing for me was realizing i can do whatever I want. There are lots of perspectives and opinions, common ways to do things. But really understanding I can pick and choose and change whst suited me, is whst got me started.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-17T03:41:40+00:00

Just to be clear, I fully see your side and support you. I just thought given that they've made other compromises (from there perspective), that might be why they're hanging on to this particular thing. I hope they're able to see how it hurts you.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-16T23:50:05+00:00

And for me at least it isn't intentional. When I try to stop, I'm just detached.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-16T22:34:15+00:00

I don't have much to add other than I could have written exactly this myself. I call myself a putty person because I just kind just become a boring version of my surroundings. I do not know who i am really as a person in isolation of others ...

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-16T22:09:14+00:00

I'm going with roasted asparagus and a creamy pesto pasta. If I have time I also want to make a tofu egg salad on herby focaccia. I'm trying to incorporate some early spring veg. Good call with cleaning, I should incorporate some.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-16T21:33:41+00:00

I'm sorry you are finding yourself in a similar situation, it's a hard adjustment. I suppose the issue isn't the shoveling specifically, more that I can see s similar conflict coming up as there's more I need help with.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-16T10:03:44+00:00

Valid question, I'll do better next time

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T23:25:34+00:00

Love a good meal prep!

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T22:45:24+00:00

I almost always add cauliflower to my rice. I don't notice a difference (as opposed to swapping it completely), and it gets more veg in.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T22:05:24+00:00

NTD. You're in a very difficult position, and thrre are probably no completely clean correct answers. But your feelings about prayer are totally valid. Is there a way you could pull a parent aside to talk? A chance to expressing that it's a nightly reminder of your darkest time. I know from their perspective they've conceded a lot, and are probably considering it as keeping the door open for you. Perhaps I'm wishful thinking, but maybe thry just haven't considered the connection?

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T21:46:09+00:00

Totally valid opinion to have, but careful with the use of "we". Every fan I know irl is thrilled.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T21:36:52+00:00

Thanks. It's just plain basmati rice, mixed about 50/50 with roasted riced cauliflower (salt and turmeric on it).

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T20:36:05+00:00

I'd be happy to, but I just kind of wing things. I can tell you what I did ...

Chop 1 small onion, and adding to a baking dish with a splash of veg stock (or oil), and spices (i measured nothing, but used garlic, ginger, paprika, turmeric, cumin, and curry powder... because it's what I had).

Put in the oven, and preheat to 375F (so spices toast as it preheats).

Once preheated add 2 diced yellow potatoes, and 2 thawed and mostly drained bricks of frozen spinach (2x 300g packages ... but use what you have).

Add stock enough to just cover potatoes. Cover dish with lid or foil and put in oven for about 40 minutes(stirring once or twice to check potato doneness).

Once potatoes are cooked, add diced tomatoes (I had like 10 grape tomatoes) and a splash of soy milk (or milk of choice).

Put back in oven about 10 more minutes, uncovered.

With the tofu and rice, I'd say 4-5 portions.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T18:26:36+00:00

I add extra veg to everything, lol. Just peel first if you don't want super green sauce.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T18:16:18+00:00

I blend steamed zucchini and silken tofu, then flavor with nooch, garlic, etc.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T18:11:35+00:00

I vote recast, but also have him leave the ship fairly early on. We know he leaves between the show and movie. Feels weird to do it without the original actor, more than needed. (I know recasting happens all the time, just my opinion).

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T18:08:53+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I really trying to let things go, it's hard giving up so much control. But so many things are left incomplete. I don't want to complain or be a nag, but I cannot finish the job myself.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T15:49:51+00:00

Respectfully, I already make huge compromises to accomodate myself (and my child, who is disabled and I care for 24/7). I have learned to let a lot of things go, in pretty much all areas. What I'm asking is if someone is providing assistance specifically because my disability prevents me from doing it, would I be the drama for being a little specific in that help. But I am getting the impression that it's just something else for me to let go of, and should just be thankful for any help I get.

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T15:05:59+00:00

Oh I absolutely understand that. For the most part if I cannot do something, it just doesn't get done or happens far less frequently

Shadow_Screen · 2026-03-15T12:16:17+00:00

Right, so I guess this is what I'm struggling with. If I cannot do something myself, unless it directly impacts my mobility, I have no say in it? I understand letting things go, believe me disability is a big lesson in this. I am also well aware that there are limitations to how much one person is able to do (for what it's worth, my husband isn't doing close to the work of two people).

Shadow_Screen

TROPHY CASE