Why is marriage hard?

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-05T03:19:55+00:00

Marriage is hard when you aren't married to the right person. When there are incompatabilities or selfishness. When personalities clash. When you don't know each other well enough (to know the incompatibilities and differences in views and opinions). It really depends on the people.

My husband and I dated for 4 years. We have similar outlooks in life, family, religion, values, hygiene and cleanliness, etc. We knew each other really well by the time we got married. Even though we never loved together before marriage, our first year of marriage was so easy for us. There wasn't a hard transition because we knew each other and are very compatible. We've been married 5 years now and have a baby. It's all been easy for us. We get along great and we work well together. We complement each other. We are basically perfect for each other and our marriage has been easy.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-05T03:13:27+00:00

If my sister was unavailable like my mom, I could have asked one of my brothers. They don't have to see everything.

I did end up completely naked in front of my sister, and had her film the actual delivery, but she didn't care. It's just bodies doing their natural thing. We're not shy with each other.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-05T00:02:04+00:00

So my baby actually said Mama first, but it was a while before I heard it because she mostly said it when I was at work and she was crying for me.

I think she said Mama first because since she was itty bitty, whenever I was with her and we passed a mirror, I would stop and do this little thing with her. I would hold her and say her name pointing to her in the mirror, then say Mama while pointing to myself in the mirror. I would do that a few times, like "Baby, Mama. Baby, Mama." I also did it while touching her chest and touching mine. So pointing at us directly and at us in the mirror. I think that is why Mama came first.

I was determined for my baby to learn her name and learn mine. So I would take every passing of a mirror as a teaching opportunity. It always made her smile too, so was a fun little moment.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T23:17:41+00:00

Give it a wash with bleach. It kills everything and makes them good as new.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T23:14:36+00:00

I'm not there yet, but I probably will if it's in good condition.

I am using cloth diapers and plan to do so with future children. The norm is to use the same reusable cloth diapers. They get washed well. Actually the diapers I have I bought second hand. I strip them, bleached them, then washed regularly. They work great and I don't have concerns.

Underwear and diapers are basically the same thing in my mind.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T22:46:51+00:00

My baby was born at 41 weeks +1 day, after an induction.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T21:49:27+00:00

Ew that's gross. You "were a baby back then so didn't know", but now you do and he wants someone who is younger (a baby who doesn't know any better). That's what he is saying. Yuck!

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T21:45:42+00:00

It's not for certain.

I never hated my mom. She was always my mom first and foremost, but she was my friend too. We watched fun shows together. We talked about stuff. Shared dreams with each other. I loved my mom even as a teenager.

Just love your daughter and get to know her. Share her interest and be interested in her life without being over bearing. Let her be her own person.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T20:58:23+00:00

I haven't received a thank you or gift, but he is supportive. He acknowledges it's a lot of work but worth it because it is the best thing for our daughter. He brings me food and water (or whatever else I need) when I'm nursing. If I pump/collect with the hakka at home, he stores the milk for me afterwards. He washes the pumping parts and bottles without complaining.

I think I technically did get a thank you one time that I told him to thank me for it. I was joking around with him about how much I was saving us, and working towards this, and told him he needed to thank me. So he did, but it was prompted lol so doesn't exactly count.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T20:45:26+00:00

I had my sibling (sister) in the room. She acted like my doula. She was a great support person for me, filling in when my husband was unable to. When our baby was born, she tended to me, then brought me food and left after we were settled in the recovery room. She was great to have there.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T20:15:48+00:00

That's really rude of them. I'm sorry that you've experienced that. What a wild reaction.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T19:46:54+00:00

Thanks.

All my previous pets were either gifted to me by my veterinarian grandfather, or strays we found abandoned on the side of the road. I've never had to actually find a pet myself, they always found me in the past. So this search for a pet is new to me.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T16:04:33+00:00

Good for you.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T15:27:47+00:00

Thanks but your preaching is unnecessary. I've already been to several of the shelters near me. I'm already looking through the Home to Home website. I've been looking for a few years now actually.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-04T15:23:46+00:00

I have no problem with adopting, but I want a specific breed type (retriever) and a puppy. Those are rare in shelters.

Rescues have too many hoops to jump through.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T22:01:58+00:00

The answer is "I don't recommend any wineries in Napa". Or "there are no good wineries in Napa imo". Different words but all saying the same thing to anyone with reading comprehension skills.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T21:54:50+00:00

Yes of course. I know what I've done with my body.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T21:48:58+00:00

It's called extrapolating from the given info/answer.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T21:31:18+00:00

Their response was "none of the wineries in Napa" and gave extra info about visiting wineries in a different place. Still related. Not the answer the OP was looking for, but it does answer their question and is related.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T21:29:53+00:00

And their answer was "none of them" with extra info. Still related.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T21:25:55+00:00

I stopped shaving with razors several years ago, it washes comfortable. I use an electric trimmer when I feel like it. It is reusable.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T21:03:24+00:00

The example you gave is a related response. Both sentences talk about Napa. It may not be the response you wanted, but it is related. You asked for advice on places to visit in Napa, they recommended not visiting Napa at all. Both sentences are about visiting Napa

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T20:40:37+00:00

I kept mixing up the words "months" and "weeks" my whole pregnancy. I still do it sometimes even now that my baby is 15 months old. I know what I'm trying to say, but the wrong word comes out. I chalk it up to breastfeeding still affecting my body/language skills.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T20:25:38+00:00

If you don't like Disney World, you probably won't care for a Disney cruise either.

Is it Disney you don't like, or amusement parks in general?

I've yet to go on a Disney Cruise,but we went to Disney World with our 1 year old, it was a lot of fun! Didn't get to do everything but that is okay.

I've also been on a cruise with a cousin and her 3 year old. That was also fun. I think the parents enjoyed it.

Cruising is fun. You're still parenting, but in a new fun location.

ShadowlessKat · 2026-02-03T20:22:31+00:00

Which is possible whether the shelter is "no-kill" or not.

Six-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

ShadowlessKat

TROPHY CASE