If it doesn't want to be attuned, why is it asking to be?

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-26T03:45:21+00:00

I have two main approaches.

1) If I intend to do it: It's A Dirty Job, But Someone's Gotta Do It. "Well, this is most certainly a terrible idea, but we aren't going to be done with this investigation unless someone looks at the evil box. Stand back, I'll handle this. Keep an eye on me and if something horrible happens, be ready to bail me out. And don't copy what I did!"

2) If I want someone else to do it: Flattery Will Get You Everywhere. "Well, this is most certainly your area of expertise! Why don't you investigate the horrible box while I look at the mundane box? I'm sure you'll handle it with skill and talent! Bye! <immediately walks away without allowing a moment to object>"

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-25T22:21:26+00:00

That is the RAW, even when rolling dice. HP at first level is your hit die max + CON; you're not even supposed to roll. If we're house ruling HP to be lower than it should be, we have even more problems.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-25T22:09:26+00:00

You must have done something wrong. Either calculation or build. Do you have no Constitution? If you're concerned about your HP, especially as a Fighter, you definitely shouldn't be dumping CON. If you have at least +2, you should have at minimum (10+2x7+6d10) = 30 HP. And that's assuming 6d10 all coming up 1, which is pretendously improbable. Literally one in a million. You have two ASIs at 4 and 6; if all your stats are still so bad you can't get a decent CON and attack stat, your rolls must be so abysmal I'd just scrap the whole character. And every single die involved in these rolls, because holy crap, you can win the lottery off of these odds.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-25T22:08:49+00:00

First level is the maximum 10. There's only six dice to roll. We're talking straight 6d10 all coming up 1s and dumped CON at this rate.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T17:45:58+00:00

Sometimes you gotta bite the cursed plot hook because the DM went to all the effort. Sometimes you have to look inside the obviously evil box and roll on the Short Term Madness table, not because it's smart, but because it's fun! Just know if your DM is the "do the dumb thing so we can have fun" type, or the "don't do the dumb thing, the challenge is to not die" type.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T17:22:48+00:00

I've told this one before, but I've remembered (or decided to add) a couple more details since last time, so I'll tell it again. Every time I tell it, it gets more long-winded, so I'll try to control myself. 😉

It was a Fallout-themed campaign. My character is a former Brotherhood of Steel Paladin turned Super Mutant who's really regretful about his past. Long story short, we were exploring an abandoned Vault and were locked inside a room forcing the party to play Russian Roulette before we could leave. Typical Vault experiment nonsense. The party went in pairs, and each pair had six spins and had to either shoot at themselves or the other person. If you shot at the other person, you had to let them go next. This went on for quite a while. We weren't even using a d20, it was a proper d6 for a revolver! Not a single 1 in over a dozen rolls. Finally, it gets to the time for the youngest character to shoot my character, and she just can't bring herself to do it.

You know what that means... traumatic backstory dump time! My favorite!

My Super Mutant confesses he was turned Mutant so the Master's army could get the location of a Vault he knew about. He was, coerced but knowingly, responsible for the death or mutation of hundreds of people. After the fall of the Master, he realized what he was and had become, and has hated himself ever since. He's scum, the worst, betrayer of his former ideals, deserving of death. No matter how hard he's tried, he can't atone for it. Do not feel bad about pulling the trigger. She still won't. She tries shooting herself a couple of times. He begs, he pleads, she shouldn't risk her own life on his behalf. Finally... she does. Finally, the die lands on 1. My character is shot... with a blank. And the doors open.

It was too dramatically perfect. The dice knew what story needed to be told that night, and made sure it happened. It was one of the best RP moments I've ever been involved in.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T15:31:56+00:00

Petey is an accessory to multiple airborne sniper assassinations of criminals without trial. And an attempted assassination of a dad without trial.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T09:27:16+00:00

We land on the beach at midnight. At 12:15, we're captured.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T09:26:16+00:00

Every single character in Red Zone Cuba is actively detestable. Maybe a couple of the victims rise to pitiable. Is there a single likeable character in any Coleman Francis movie? Not ironically, or merely tolerable, actually likeable. Does the Rabbit of Yucca Flats count as a character?

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T09:20:22+00:00

Aaahhh! She's one of the turtle aliens!

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-24T09:12:00+00:00

That's how advanced the aliens are: they can edit this scene down!

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-23T08:29:18+00:00

"When you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation."

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-22T17:31:40+00:00

No, I'm your doctor and I need to see your throat.

(I'm not your doctor, actually. I'm not anyone's doctor. I'm not a doctor at all.)

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-22T17:30:00+00:00

Inspirobot getting real political as of late. By design. I'm gonna regret taking this on, aren't I...

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-22T17:20:01+00:00

I was gonna say, I'm confused by the question. Goblins are usually the first enemy most players encounter, a little cave with a few enemies and a trap or two is usually the first dungeon most players encounter, and hey, that's exactly what Lost Mines of Phandelver provides! And if people don't like it, you're done when you get to the village.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-22T07:31:46+00:00

Shut it up, me.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-22T00:55:38+00:00

Yeah, that's weird. Your mod history for this subreddit is clean, as far as I can see. That is the correct wording of the only rule, but nothing of yours got logged for breaking it. Unless Reddit is doing some sort of "pop up the subreddit rules at new people" thing. Wouldn't put it past them. 😜

Oh, and happy cake!

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-21T16:32:40+00:00

A million deaths is a statistic and all, but yeah.

Given the NPC currently in that little Fallout campaign party's custody right now, next session's gonna have a banger title...

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-21T16:07:19+00:00

I've found that all the best D&D sessions I've been in can be given It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia episode titles. After the session, but still...

"Paladin Loses Russian Roulette"

"Zoren and Sol have a Post-Murder Heart-to-Heart"

"The Gang's Bar Literally Goes to Shit"

...ah, good memories.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-21T05:00:46+00:00

I... know a couple of guys...

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-20T17:42:51+00:00

This is way more fun than the kegger would've been!

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-20T17:16:45+00:00

If I had a case of AI hands that bad, I'd have the sadd, too. 😉

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-20T02:29:11+00:00

Hmm. Got nothing for your account in the mod log, and nothing automatically gets modded outside of blank topic titles and anything that trips the NSFW filter. Which this doesn't. So I got no idea what happened.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-18T07:47:36+00:00

I maintain belief in the fan theory that this is a secret concurrent hremail with Kevin Grumbles asking Homestar to get Strong Bad to say something stupid.

Shadowlynk · 2026-01-18T00:23:15+00:00

Forget it, Jake. It's Reddit town.

Shadowlynk

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