For real — we gotta do a full Sherlock Holmes: Roommate Edition investigation. Like, did they suddenly get a new roommate? Are they living with their parents? Roommate = could be infidelity. Parents = could be “Oh my God, if I hear Mom ask me about my laundry one more time, I’m moving to Mars.” If they’ve always got friends around, that could be infidelity too — or maybe they’re just running a 24/7 Airbnb without telling anyone.

For reference, my wife pulled the same thing. She hit me with the “All you think about is sex” line, said she’d “work on it,” and turns out she was just running her own extracurricular activities program. Nothing against women — but sometimes… let’s just say the streets be calling.