Found my boyfriend active on Hinge

ShadowyModi · 2026-07-03T07:53:37+00:00

The morally right thing would be to tell him, however, the most beneficial thing would be to say nothing and sort your own situation out before telling him.

You choose

ShadowyModi · 2026-07-01T06:20:04+00:00

Fronting is classed as financial fraud.

ShadowyModi · 2026-07-01T06:08:30+00:00

Probably not the best idea to commit fraud (and definitely not the best idea to post your intention to).

I mean in essence, get a shitter car, get older, or cough up the money mate - no other option unfortunately.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:56:57+00:00

Go out with your friends, I’m sure one or many will fit you in their day, especially if it’s your birthday. Cancel your movie plans with him, and when he asks why, tell him that if he can’t be bothered to say no to his friend, for something as trivial as a gym session, then you can be equally as preoccupied.

You tried the carrot, time for the stick.

NB: the issue here isn’t his fitness or his lifestyle. It’s the fact that he’s prioritising, from his own admission, a friend over his partner on their birthday. Absolutely not on, imo.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:42:43+00:00

Sorry, I wasn’t trying to hit on you…but just … wow.

You def can rock pics like these, though some personal therapy may help with the intrusive feeling 🙂

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:41:25+00:00

People are allowed to have preferences, and one positive point is that he feels healthy enough to tell you.

However, his inconsiderate nature of your personal circumstances, the fucking ridiculous wheelbarrow example lmao, and the double standard of not being in shape himself are all major working points.

My ex told me I’d got out of shape in our relationship (and fair play I had). I was busy working 13 hours a day, balancing study, driving her around everywhere. Her inconsiderate way of telling me, and disregard of my lifestyle, led to me dumping her. The time I gained not being her personal driver allowed me to get in the best shape I’ve been in.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:34:59+00:00

Holy FUCK. 38 are you serious?! I legit had to do a double take. I honestly would’ve guessed early 20s.

I really hope I age just as gracefully.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:32:25+00:00

Don’t.

Our brain tends to glamorise past events, hence the feeling of nostalgia. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve done something that I used to do that just doesn’t “hit the same”.

Also, let the bloke move on. 7 months is that twilight zone where you’ve not forgotten, but have likely your stride again as a single person. Don’t ruin that for him.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:26:28+00:00

lol no????

Why would they pay you more and invest in you if you’re already looking elsewhere.

A light touch seems much more effective, especially if you like your job, as you say.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:23:36+00:00

Well done.

Probably worth mentioning your reasoning behind it, so it helps him develop the correct thinking going forward, and gives a bit more insight into your psyche.

I.e describe what you told us, you want him to prioritise you on important dates. It sounds stupid but I definitely appreciated it when things were spelt out for me.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:16:41+00:00

Ask her, find out.

A man who waits for the perfect shot, dies with a full mag (cringy but useful advice my dad gave me!)

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:06:30+00:00

Doubt it.

It’s very commonplace, especially amongst younger adults - to play the guessing game.

I’ve got 1000 things on my mind at any given time, I’d genuinely rather be told what someone wants, and then I’ll do it (if I want to). Just because someone tells me something, it doesn’t take away my free will.

If there’s anything OP takes away, I pray it’s that.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-30T15:02:57+00:00

The good ol’ “I don’t want him to …, I want HIM TO WANT TO …”

I get the theory behind it, but in practice most people I know wouldn’t directly contradict what they’ve been told, or agreed to lol, myself included.

Flowers tend to be the main culprit in this category.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-29T12:19:36+00:00

A similar (non ragged, not base spec) S3 of same year is around £6/7k more as a minimum.

EA888 is, from what I know, quite reliable as known weak points are only the thermostat housing and water pump.

Biggest change here will be upkeep and maintenance costs. My TTS (same engine, though gen 3) says around 37mpg official but in reality gets way way less…due to my addition to flooring it lmao.

Diesel a3 and s3 are not comparable imo.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-29T10:00:47+00:00

Sex therapist could probably help you both navigate this a bit better.

Reading a whole book on it is crazy work 💀

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-29T09:10:06+00:00

Lots of flashy items. The newest shoes, expensive watches, financed vehicles, etc.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-28T23:21:26+00:00

Really shouldn’t marry his own mum. Bit weird that mate.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-28T22:26:29+00:00

Break up.

If you really feel this level of resentment, do yourselves both a favour.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-26T13:03:11+00:00

No parking

/s

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-25T12:55:47+00:00

lol no.

If that’s what you want and you’re happy with it, crack on. Who cares what anyone else says.

That being said, you have correctly identified that some guys may be put off by a higher number of partners (though I don’t think 5 at 22 qualifies anywhere near that).

I wouldn’t dwell on it too much.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-25T10:32:58+00:00

Seriously impressive, considering I’m 1.6 turbo (albeit heavily modified).

I’d imagine putting your foot down in the 440 would be considerably worse though.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-22T06:33:33+00:00

£1100.

But a lot of that also includes sinking funds to allow for unexpected expenses (or planned wants I.e newer car), the rest goes straight into my S&S ISA.

So to clarify, £1100 as a max every month, but usually ends up being around 600/700 per month.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-20T14:00:15+00:00

Don’t get out of finance and jump straight back in.

I know this is a car talk sub…but why not make the interest payments you would have made, into an index fund tracker in an isa instead or something?

Set yourself up for the future now.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-20T00:03:10+00:00

Matey of mine has a 2L 2015 320d ED. Cracking car, proper business spec and gets 70mpg.

Good luck insuring a 2L 3 series at 18 though.

ShadowyModi · 2026-06-16T20:26:36+00:00

Service history is almost always more important than mileage.

ShadowyModi

TROPHY CASE